Anxiety and Stress

People that doesn't have it. Have really hard time understand it. What anxiety attacks and stress attacks do or feel for the one that have them. I can't speak for all that have it. But I can on the other hand explain what happens to my body when I get them. Everyone have it different, and everyone have them in different levels. And telling someone to just suck it up and stop whining about it... -is just really fkup, cuz you have no idea whats going on.

I thought what I had was normal, that everyone had it. I've had anxiety and stress attacks as long as I can remember. It started with kindergarten and family gathers.. And never really left my life after that, instead they got worse and worse. I'm 26 y/o soon. And have finally start to calm down with them and learned to controll them, sort of.. I've become used for the feelin' and that.. And that's really sad to say. But I'm also happy that they have become fewer with the years, and easier to handle.

But the feeling never leaves the body.. When I get a stress or anxiety attacks.. It feels like electricity is pulsating out from my brain, into all nerves right under my skin. And it hurst like a bitch.. Imagine having a leg cramp but push that pain x100 if not more and it happens all over your body in the same time.. I want to scream out of pain but I can't open my jaw, I can't get any sound out, I can barely breathe... I can't move. Just endure the pain in silence till I can move or do anything.

So what cause them to happen?
Majority of times it's caused by a memorie. I have PTSD from my past, and sometimes those memories comes like a flashback out from the blue. I can see a specific car, catch a specific smell, hear a specific song etc and I'll be right back into that past and relive that moment it's connected to.
It's better now. A hella ton better than just a few years ago. I've learned how to handle them. I just get a few ''bad moments'' here and there now under the month. Going from 15-20+ per day and now about 3 per month. Im really proud of myself. How far I've got with myself. From being extremely self destructive to become someone with worth in my own eyes.

My past.. Is my past, and one day I'll let it die 100%. We're maybe at 85% atm, and I'm fine -no I'm awesome. Never stop fighting. Just cuz you know someone with a harsher past doesn't mean yours ain't harsh. We all fight something, don't think your fight is less hard or important cuz of someone elses. Stop comparing your trauma with others, you getting nowhere like that, take your fight, and be proud over that you made it out, be proud that you did fight it :))
You can take your knowledge over what happened to you, and help others. To prove for them it gets easier. Sometimes that kind of help even helps yourself.

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