something to remember - the camera doesn't capture what happens behind the closed doors.
the camera, and the social media posts, they don't show the hard ships (well not in a lot of cases)..
you know that saying, take the good with the bad .. well just like anything else, study abroad, and traveling across the globe from my home, of course has its downs - which i think is perfectly normal, just because you're on a holiday, adventure or in another place, it doesn't pause reality, or make all your 'problems' go away.
i think it's when the bad begins to outweigh the good is when you have a real issue, which is when it calls for some change.
in knowing all this, and knowing i am where i want to be - which is here, and here now ... it doesn't mean the feeling of absolute missing home isn't ever present.. as much as I can feel at home with my 'travel fam', and as much as i know I could rely on my closest friends here if I were feeling low.. it doesn't take away the fact that sometimes all I want is my mum, my sister, or my best friend for a big cuddle. but what can you do when they are 8,548 miles, a long flight and a shit ton of money away..
In times like these, I do a few things to comfort myself -
- I look at the photos on my wall, or those that fill my phone
- I watch videos that i have previously made that have all the smiles of the people i love
- Or I make new ones
- I put on nostalgic music - music which reminds me of home
- I call - usually faetime my family or friends
- I get out the house, and surround myself with company
- Or if I'm not feeling up to talking to anyone, I'll grab myself a nice hot drink and get into bed and just really chill out for some time and put on one of my favorite 'feel good' shows
It was my first day of school attending American College, after only being in the United States for two weeks when I decided 6 months wasn’t long enough. I already felt myself falling in love with the whole experience, (just as hoped and expected).
I didn’t waste any time, and that night I came home after my first day of school, and I emailed my University about the option to stay abroad for an additional semester.
As soon as I told one of my friends back home that my 6 months abroad could turn into 10 months,
his initial reaction was “won’t you get home sick?”,
I replied: “OF COURSE! I already have been, and it hasn’t even been a month”,
but I just knew as much as I would be missing home, 6 months was going to flyby and I most likely wouldn’t be ready to leave.
And if there was an opportunity to make it happen, I’d be crazy to not try everything in my power to make this dream come true for just a tad longer. Because really isn’t that what we are all after?
this isn't to say that the negatives of staying didn't cross my mind ... 1000 times.
just a bit of this..
"ah ill miss my family and friends- a shit ton more"
"aw, I'm going to miss my 21st birthday with everyone back home"
"mm what about all the other events that ill miss with my friends back home?"
and a bit of that...
"this is going to leave a huge, hugeeee decline in my bank account"
"but the longer I'm away, thats more time for things to change"
"am i going to lose some people in my life, or almost be ‘forgotten by being away this long?"
(as stupid as it sounds, the fear is there)
How I decided ..
"this is a once in a lifetime opportunity"
"my friends and family will be there when i get home"
"ultimately, this is what i want - for myself"
"money can always be earnt again - these experiences can't"
"ah, so much more travel time!"
"on the count of 2!"
and in the mean time, when i get really homesick, i do what i listed above.. and this song below, that's my go to.
One of my favorites songs to play when I'm feeling a little down, gloomy or homesick (above)
Home in your head - thundamentals