March, soon the end of it. It is exactly 4 days left before Noah's SECOND birthday. SECOND!! Like... what? How is that even possible? It is the same day as easter, which is sort of a big deal in my family, so there will be two big celebrations in one day. I am beyond excited for this, I've already bought his presents, and I've planned the most bomb ass cake of the decade. But I can't help panicking over how old he's getting already, but I am trying to stay positive. This month, did not exactly turn out the way I'd hoped and planned. We were suppose to be with his father on the other side of the world, but do to some unfortunate events and bad planning that I don't really even understand myself, we couldn't go. My heart was broken, Noah goes through periods where he talks about nothing but "dadda's boat", "dadda's fish", "dadda's shirt"... dadda's everything, and I was so excited for him to spend time with his dad. But I guess we'll just have to wait some more before that happens, seems like we are getting pretty used to it by now anyway. I will always encourage Noah to see his dad, and speak to him, and to have a relationship with him, but I am personally done waiting for my own sake. I've been sad for Noah's sake lately, and I've been angry that once again, our plans got flushed down the toilet, but it has also been a massive and much needed wake up call for me, so I've taken myself by the collar, and I've started to take risks in just the past few weeks. Applied for jobs that I was too afraid to apply to just a few months ago, taking chances, and letting myself explore, and I am so happy to say, that it is already showing results. And without jinxing it, I can say that my life may look pretty different in just a few months ago. Putting in a little luck and hard work. But more on that later ;) I am feeling so much better emotionally than I need just months ago, and I am getting less and less worried. Life is going to be good, and I'll make sure of it. I'll be strong, and Noah will be happy. I'll always be there for him, put him first and love him. I am never going to have any excuse to not be his parent. I'll do whatever it takes to be the best parent ever for him, even if that means playing both rolls for the rest of his life.
My silly boy at the playground. Almost two years old. Isn't he just the cutest thing?