February is over, and it wasn’t a good month for blogging, and for that I apologise but as the title states, I’ve had a lot on my mind. At this very moment I am in Sweden. Noah and I arrived here on Saturday evening and I’ll be staying the week out. Noah however will be staying with my parents for an extra week after I’ve left. It will be the first time we’re without each other for so long. I am going to miss him so much I’ll probably cry myself to sleep every single night but at the same time, it was my idea, because I feel like I really need it. Not that I need a break from my child, but just a break. The past month or so, I’ve started to feel differently about myself; since Noah was born, I’ve put everything I have into the role of his mother that I’ve forgotten who I was up to the moment I became one. I’m a young and single mother, which is the hardest job in the world, but I’m also just young and single, and I need to remind myself of that. So I am going to take a week to just enjoy myself and try finding myself again, as well as I am going to look for a new apartment and figure out my life. Noah also needs a little break, he goes long days in school, and he’s missed spending time with his grandparents, so this will be good for him to.
The main reason we’re in Sweden now however, is because on Wednesday is the day I’ve been dreading for so long... it is time for court. I’ve never been in court before, and as necessary as this is, it’s sad that this situation had to go this far. The court is going to state whether Noah’s father, really is his father or not. I’ve spent the last three years trying to prove to the Swedish government that Noah has a father, but they felt like the effort was one sided... now it is out of both our hands, and we’ll just have to leave it up to destiny. Whoever “wins” on Wednesday, I still feel like both his father and myself, win something either way.
However, today is Monday, a new week with new possibilities. Don’t forget to be kind to one another