On Monday aka. Halloween, Noah will be turning 7 months. I can't believe how time has just flown so fast and yet it feels like I've had him my entire life. I think back to the day he was born several times every day and if I could only describe it with one word, it would disbelief. I must admit going into labor and giving birth was probably the most horrible thing I've ever experienced but I would honestly do it a million times over. The first couple of days with Noah felt like a dream, it was unreal but the greatest thing about being a parent is watching your child develop each and every day and feel your heart grow heavier with love as they grow. There is nothing like the first time they grab your finger for the first time, or every time they look at you and smile not because they know how to but because it is you, their mother they see and to them that is the greatest joy. And yesterday when Noah said "mamma" 100 times over, it made my heart beat so fast it felt amazing just as it did when he cried himself to sleep in my arms knowing that my smell and touch makes him feel safe and at home. The best thing ever is knowing that you are the most important person in the world to someone. I just love being a mother, and I have from day one even in this crazy situation that I'm in. But I am not going to let my craziness get in the way of being the best mother I possibly can be to my son because he deserves the whole world and more.
Being a mother sunk in fast, but the steps along the way I will have to learn as I get there. I will make mistakes, and I will do all that I can to protect my child or children. Growing up, becoming a teenager, seeing how everyone around me was being disciplined differently, it was clear that when some parents thought that their actions would make their children become what they wanted them to be, sometimes their children just got better at hiding things they knew they would get in trouble for. When I have teenage kids, I want to become the type of parent who's kids can be open and honest about everything with, but then again, I'm sure thats every parents dream. I think we all have to come to terms with that our children will lie to us once in a while, and it is not the end of the world, there are worse things that could happen.
To me, the most important thing with parenting is safety, security and not to sound cheesy but love. It is important to me that I am always there for my son and whatever children I will be blessed with in the future. It is my job as a mother to love him unconditionally, not the other way around. I'm going to raise him to become a great man who won't be afraid to spread his wings, but knows there will always be a roof over his head in my home whenever he needs. it doesn't matter if he's 6 years old, or 60 years old. I will always be there to help out, I will always have extra security saved for him. Not will I ever let myself choose a boyfriend or whoever else in front of my child. My child comes first, always! And even if we might be furious at each other one day, it is important to me that he know's that I love him just the same. Not only will I scold him when he does something wrong, but I will praise him when he does good too, because that is just as important and many parents forget that. I'll never abandon, never leave him be at a time of need or do anything that could cause him harm. I am his mother and I will always be his shield. I will always do my very best to protect him and keep him safe, even when he's grown up and might be physically far away from me. That to me is the most important thing about parenting.