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Parenthood, Australia, Sweden, Family

Life, Noah, Random

So, so, so sorry for my lack of blogging lately. I've started many posts but I just never finished them, they either weren't written well enough, or the topic wasn't interesting enough. The past few weeks have been pretty hectic. A friend of mine moved in with me to do a project about mine and Noah's life, which is really exciting, she makes me look so photogenic haha Love it! I've also started a new project that has been keeping me busy, but what it is, I am not ready to come forward with yet, but stay tuned. More information is coming... On a less fun note, I got hit with the tonsillitis virus. It was awful. I couldn't speak, or swallow anything, any food I put in my mouth tasted like fungus. It was honestly horrible. I had a high fever and literally just felt like shit. I was surprised Noah didn't get it. He did however get a fever and runny nose not long after. Besides our whiskey voices, we are feeling as good as new. I've been back to work since, and Noah has been to school. Our main focus right now though, is getting away. We have been planning forever to take a trip, go on a much needed vacation but our plans have changed a number of times and I am BEYOND frustrated over this. I honestly just want everything booked and done with, so we can hop on the plane. Right now it stands between either a month with Noah's father in Australia, or two weeks just the two of us in Egypt. I'll know by Friday when I can finally book everything. But for now, I am going to spend time with Noah in the same four walls I'm growing so sick to look at (not at all in a foul mood haha).

I hope everyone has a splendid week x

Haha these photos make me laugh :-*


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Life, Noah, Random, Family

What an amazing day it has been! From morning to night. Noah and I got up early today and Noah's dad called first thing. Noah has been wanting to talk to him for so long, so he was so excited to speak to his dada today. He had the phone with him for breakfast and showed off his toys and favourite clothes. My cute little man loves his daddy so. After they hung up, and we finished our breakfast, got dressed and ready for the day, we took the bus downtown and all the way to a place called Busfabriken. There is no exact translation for the word "bus" but it means troublemaker in a cute little kid way. This factory was a massive fun house with a huge ball pool, bouncing houses, monkey bars, climbing frame, trampolines, slides and so much more. Noah was TERRIFIED at first and refused to let go off me but after a while he was having so much fun that he'd forgotten I was even there. We jumped around, laughed and played for hours but suddenly hunger hit us like a wrecking ball around 1, so we went to the fun house restaurant and had lunch. We continued playing for a short while afterwards. When we'd had enough, we went out and to my surprise, the ground was completely white!! I am not a huge fan of snow, or of winter at all for that matter, but now that I have a kid, I find it more exciting. But Noah was so exhausted that he fell asleep straight away and slept for over three hours, which is unusual for him, but the fun house really got it out of him. So once we got home, I had some time for myself, so I just relaxed. When Noah finally woke up, he was so shocked over the snow that I took him for a walk to the grocery store, He was so fascinated by the snow. The evening ended with good food, silly games and dancing around to 90's pop music. After a great dinner, we watched Melodifestivalen (Swedish Eurovision) and Noah pretended his cup was a microphone and sang along and danced around the living room, it was adorable. We then watched Pitch Perfect and Noah fell asleep by the end of it. It is now past midnight and I am exhausted. I am about to go to bed, in a very good mood. Noah and I have had so much today that I am just taking it all in. We've basically laughed so much all day that I won't be surprised if my stomach will be sore tomorrow.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. Love to all!

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Life, Random

The other day I realised something, that next year, I'll be turning 25... 25 is just as close to 20 as it is to 30, and suddenly I caught myself wondering where all the time has gone and before I knew it, I was panicking. It feels like it was just last year that I was living in Kenya, acting spontaneous, always up to something, having the time of my life. But no, it has almost been five years, FIVE YEARS, since I moved away from there. In that time I've gained and lost so many jobs I can't even count, met new people and made some great friends, moved to Australia, left Australia, fallen in love, fallen out of love, traveled, worked, laughed, cried, and the most important one, had a baby. But somehow all the memories, they have all blend together in a way, and it makes me realise that I have no control over time, and that everything is happening so quick around me, and that I am ageing. My new building fear now is that I am wasting my life, that I have been wasting it, and I feel so thankful to have already had a kid at such a young age. I know it might sound ridiculous to be freaked out about this already, and more than often do I hear the phrase "you're still young, you have time" and honestly, those words mean nothing to me. I am still young, yes, but it is now that I need to live it, because time ticks and before I know it, I'll be too old, too sick or too sorry to have it in me anymore. I won't be young forever and I am realising that more and more for each day how fast it goes.

Haha I figured that my blog was the best place to spill my feelings. I have some exciting new things happening in my life, and I am really going to take a hold of my life and started living on my terms, one step at a time. I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to a new week., we certainly have.

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Life, Noah, Family

It been a while since I've blogged, but I've been debating with what to blog about. I've been feeling sentimental lately and I've had serious baby fever so this blog post is about my greatest milestone in life. People have always said that time goes by way too fast, and I always underestimated that, until Noah arrived in the world. It is just two months until Noah turns 2! TWO YEARS OLD! I could've sworn I was just pregnant with him last month. I still remember the little kicks at night. Or "little" is actually not the right word considering he cracked my rib but I loved showing up my stomach proudly, and the look of sweetness on some peoples face when they saw me feel my belly. These were all milestones, the first kick, when my stomach first started showing, my first day of morning sickness haha. But the biggest milestone of all, the one I remember as if it were yesterday, was the day I became a mother, the day he was born. I remember waking up in the morning, feeling my first contraction, I remember how they got stronger and more hurtful throughout the day (11 hours exactly), the pain, the tears, the screams, the longing to hold him, the need for the labor to be over. I remember the moment he finally came out, when I finally got to hold him. He was so blue and little, so perfect and sweet. The overwhelming feeling of gratitude, exhaustion, pain, fear, happiness and love. The first feeling of motherhood, I will never forget it; my greatest milestone.

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Life, Noah, Random

Whaaaat a day. I am so exhausted, I hardly have the energy to get up from this couch. Tomorrow Noah is back in school after almost a month of Christmas vacation. so I wanted to take him to do something fun, so we went swimming at a pool house. It was energy consuming but a lot of fun. Noah was having the time of his life and I loved watching him enjoy himself so much. When we first got there, Noah was terrified and couldn't stop crying and when we first got in the water, he refused to let go of me, but after some time, he was laughing and splashing around. It was adorable.

Lately I've been trying to remember a time before motherhood, and honestly, my past self wants to apologise to every parent out there for ever complaining about being tired, because nothing tires one out like motherhood. "Being a mom is not even a real job", no actually, it is several jobs, it is a chef, a cleaner, an entertainer, a nurse, a teacher, a planner, a story teller, a life coach, a crafter, it is all jobs in one, with no pay, just an extreme amount of unconditional love. "Is it really that tough?"; (yes, I have actually been asked this... I know right *eye roll*), try breastfeeding, while cooking dinner, in the same pair of jeans you've worn all week, not showered in several days, and can't remember the last time you'd had a decent sleep, all at once... yes, it is hard work, so going swimming with my kid for an entire day, does drain me. But even so, it is incredible, because it is worth it and I don't ever complain about it, or ever feel the need to give up, even on the verge of crying... because that is what I call "mom life".

No make up, no sleep. A picture of motherhood in a nutshell.

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Life, Noah, Random

I was debating with myself whether or not to post this because I know it can cause potential conflict. But I've decided to take the chance and just prepare myself for any attacking comments I get on my decision based on this topic. I've felt the need to write my point of view on the subject, and I welcome debatable comments, as long as they're respectful. Lately the subject of the measles and the MMR vaccine (the vaccine against measles, rubella and mumps) has come up on several occasions. Both on the news, and in casual discussions between parents.

I vaccinated Noah against whooping cough at the age of three months without looking anything up, and took for granted that it was the best decision. I later started doing my homework and educated myself on the matter and realised that there were two sides to the vaccination so a while back, I made another post about vaccinations in general, the pros and cons, asking my readers what they thought. It became a heated discussion both here on my blog, and on my facebook page. After having posted it, I received several personal messages from strangers around the world that have been or have had children harmed personally from vaccinations. I was added to a facebook group where people shared their stories about vaccine related injuries. I read the most heartbreaking stories about SIDs straight after getting a vaccine, children losing the ability to walk, heart failure, liver failure, and so much more.

A couple of months ago, Noah went for a check up again, when he got offered the MMR vaccine, and I declined, feeling that I did not have enough information on the vaccination. I was actually torn whether or not to have him vaccinated with the MMR, so I took my research to another level and dug in much deeper. I spoke to other parents, professionals, doctors, medical students; I watched films, read so many articles that I can't count, and for now I have made the decision to not give the MMR vaccination to my son. This is just the MMR as I now take one vaccine at the time to do my research with.

What have I based my decision on?

  • From my experience, it is the younger generation that has never experienced the measles that fear the disease and believe that the immunisation comes from the injection. The older generation that I've spoken to, that had the measles, don't fear the disease and don't think we should either
  • When caught on time, the disease is mostly a rash, sneezy, fever, blocked nose, etc, and can be treated. It is if it is not taking care of properly that it can lead to pneumonia, and it is then that it can have complications
  • One of the main ingredients in the vaccine is aluminium which is extremely toxic and harmful to the nervous system which attacks the brain and can lead to diseases such as alzheimers or parkinson's disease
  • Having the measles, leads to a lifetime of immunisation, which also strengthens the immune system, and decreases the chances of getting cancer in the future. Getting the vaccination as a child, a double dose of the "immunisation" last for twenty years, which means the disease can catch one as an adult and it is then that the measles is more harmful and complicated to beat
  • In the United States, there was not a single documented death from the measles for over 13 years, however, in that time, there were 108 documented deaths from the MMR vaccination. Those were only the deaths that were known to be caused from the vaccination, imagine all those deaths that did not have a "cause" that just mysteriously happened after getting the vaccine.
  • It has been said that the measles has now come back, which is false information because the disease never left however when the vaccination first came in 1963, the disease had already decreased 98% due to clean water and better hygiene

These are of just some of the main points but I do think they're important to address. Sometimes I believe people just listen to the billion dollar pharmaceutical company without actually doing any research themselves. Be careful, be educated, and know your rights for your own children. Do what feels right for you and your family!

Here is a photo of Noah at three months after getting his first vaccinations. He was so sad, but took comfort in his teddy that sadly disappeared in Australia :(

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Life, Noah, Random, Family

2017... Another year has gone by, and what a year it has been indeed. 31st of December. The very last day before we welcome the new year will be spent with a good friend and delicious food. But now during the day, Noah and I are just going to take it easy and do some cleaning up around the house and then join my parents lunch & champagne party for a bit.

So, what has 2017 really been like for us? Well Noah has developed like crazy. He's learnt to walk, run, play all in one year and now he is getting better and better with his talking, and just the fact that he's completely bilingual and understands two languages completely, and is still this good with his talking is unbelievable. I am probably the proudest mother out there. For me, the second half of this year was better than the first. I lost my grandmother, broke up with my boyfriend and struggled with my mental health. I've had several panic attacks, and days where it has been a struggle to get out of bed. But I decided to kick my own ass and pick myself up when I realised that nobody would do it for me. The days got brighter, and my heart got lighter. I ended my maternity leave by getting a great job at a daycare. I made many new friends and went for a much needed trip to Holland, and then London to visit my siblings. I may not be where I want to be in life, but the steps I've taken the past six months have taken me closer and now I can only grow taller to achieve great things.

What do I expect of 2018? I have high hopes for this year. Both for the world to heal and have less heartbreaking events, but also for myself to grow as an individual and become more secure in my own skin. My new years resolution is to take risks. Don't be afraid to take chances in life. I've already started and I have a lot of amazing and excited events to look forward to in the new year, but more of that later but I am over the moon excited about it. I have a good feeling about it, that this year is going to be my fucking year. That I am going to make myself happy again, and stand high, and most importantly, to never take anyones shit ever again!

But for now, I am going to pop open a champagne bottle and wish everyone a very happy and peaceful new year!

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Life, Noah, Random, Family

Did you fall in love this year?

No, I don't think I did, but I've felt love in different types of ways

Did you do something you have never done before?

I watched my sister play rugby. I tried out hot yoga. I started education myself on omega 3 and the issue of today's eating.

What did you miss this year?

I missed going to Australia and just our entire family and all our friends there.

Did new people make an impact in your life?

Absolutely, I made new friends and found new people to relate to.

The best memory this year?

When Noah started walking. Spending time with good friends on my birthday. Having a day trip around the coast with family. A trip to the Titanic exhibition. Going to London to visit my sister.

Best movie of the year?

Get out (I think it is one of my favourite movies ever), Split, IT

Best tv show of the year?

Stranger Things (THE BEST, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT), Riverdale

Which song will remind you of year 2017?

Perfect- Ed Shereen

Passport Home- JP Cooper

When you Love Someone- James TW

Closer- The Chainsmokers

Biggest mistake of the year?

Not travelling enough

Vacations you went on this year?

Switzerland, Holland and London


Were you happier this year than the previous years?

This year I've struggled a lot with my mental health and well being but I am ending the year in a good emotional state

Dates that you will remember?

31st March, 22nd June,

Any goals you wish to achieve in year 2018?

Save as much money as possible, figure out what I want out of life a bit more, work on bringing my happiness back


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Life, Noah, Family

It's the most wonderful time of the year. A time of light and laughter. Of family and friends. Of love and togetherness. Of gifts and food. The day when children are the happiest, and us parents are the proudest. It is an indescribable feeling, watching your child light up with excitement when they get a new present, a toy or a shirt, and they just love it from the start. The happy cheers and genuine laughter warms my soul with love. Nothing lightens my heart like watching people come together, and feeling it too. No matter how our history paths may look like.

It was all perfect. Spending time and eating amazing food, drinking great spirits and spending timewith relatives I meet way too little, opening presents from under the tree with excitement, hearing Noah shout out "daddy" with happiness when I told him a present was from him, and talking on the phone with our Australian family. Going for long walks and sharing many laughs. I JUST managed to get Noah to sleep. THIS LATE!! He was just so excited running around, playing with his new toys. Well well hopefully we get some sleep in tomorrow.

I wish everyone a wonderful week and I sincerely hope that everyone's Christmas was as beautiful as ours.

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Life, Random

The struggle is real. People talk about pregnancy brain all the time, which is a real thing, and let me tell you all, that it is not easy. But for me, the real struggle came after the pregnancy. It has now been 20 and a half months since I gave birth, and my mom brain is out of control. I lose my valuables all the time, I get lost while talking, and I forget what I've been doing and what I am suppose to do. Most days I am completely fine, but then there are those days where I have no idea what is going on haha. I don't know if it is because I am still breastfeeding, or if this is what life as a mom is forever. I don't think that I actually even believed that this was a real thing, but to anyone who doubts it, let me tell you, it is real! and it is not easy! Haha. 

I remember one day, I'd been watching TV in the morning and after I'd turned it off, I'd placed the remote control at the exact same place as I always do. When the day was over, and we were back home, I was going to put the TV back on. I think I turned my sofa upside down, I looked ALL OVER THE PLACE. I was so annoyed... I remember it taking about thirty minutes until I finally found it, at the exact place it should be, and where I always put it when I'm done watching... I felt like the biggest idiot haha. 

Does anyone else have this struggle? Tell me your own moments when pregnancy or mom brain took part!

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