So, several months after separating from my husband. One intense love affair which went down in flames (not my choice btw) Another rekindling of a flame from long ago, but my the passion for him on my side was no longer there. And yes, even a fling with a man much younger than I....a fantasy come true, and I found out I CAN have sex without love and enjoy it, but it's not my preference. So, I sit here alone, on a Saturday night, the night of the biggest full moon EVER. It is cloudy, but a beautiful warm evening and I sit here on my back porch listening to Pandora Radio, with Lauryn Hill as the station. I am happy. Six months ago, I would have been lonely. I would have frantically texted, emailed, facebooked anyone I could think of to NOT feel lonely. But, I don't need to do that anymore.

Being with myself is enough. Knowing that the love I want is inside of me, not outside. I can just give out love, non conditional, but with boundaries. By freeing myself to give love and not be needy about it, I find myself OK with being alone on a Saturday night. Ok with just sitting here, enjoying the evening, the music and solitude.

It was a long time coming, this feeling. It was a painful transition from being lost to maybe just maybe, finding myself again. I hope this feeling lasts. It is liberating. I hope you find it too, all you ladies out there who I know are just like me. Searching for someone to fill that space, when that someone is you. Take heart, and know that to be true, and the love you seek will be present, always.



Getting back onto the playing field does not have to involve an intense or rigorous program. You can and should ease your return to mind and body shape by getting out there, doing the things you love to do and finding someone or two new with whom you can do them.

Don’t believe us? Consider this statistics: According to a survey conducted by the folks at free dating site, dates that involve doing something, such as doing a specific activity, are 40% more successful than ambiguous date ideas. Here’s an example: “How about we take our bikes out this Saturday and end the ride with some wine and cheese while overlooking the pier?”

Another interesting discovery is that 60% of the most responded to dates on are two-fold: a short, active first part followed by a more intimate second location. Example: “How about we practice our slices at the driving range then get some slices at my favorite brick-oven pizza joint – it’s just a few blocks away.

Taking yourself and your search outdoors through active play is clearly the best thing you can do for your love life if you feel out of practice. So what are some other strategies for landing a date this season? Here are some trending tips courtesy of

a. Ladies, Ask Guys Out: Men and women are asking one another out at equal rates and, in fact, ladies are at a slight advantage. Dates proposed by women on get an average of 5.8 responses each, while men get about 5.5.

b. Plan Ahead: Wednesday is the best day to ask someone out on a date. The worst day to propose a date? Sunday.

c. Keep it Short: A date idea that gets communicated within 120-140 characters is ideal, so keep it to the length of a Tweet.