Because I’m a basic bitch like the rest of all you fuckeroos I’ve done my own #bestnine2017
1. On my own I went to see the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, and it was a challenge because even if I travel a lot, and travel by myself, usually you meet people on the way that you can do things with, but I hadn’t managed to meet anyone in Kuala Lumpur yet so I just had to do it on my own. And I did! The fact that I literally spent 3 minutes looking at Petronas towers and 3 hrs in the shopping mall right next to it is another story.
2. In a tuk tuk with my friend Carol who I met on the bus from Krabi to Koh Lanta and had an absolutely amazing time talking about everything and nothing with in Koh Lanta, she’s also spectacular at driving a scooter with a slightly overweight swedish bastard on the back. And Anthony of course, my crazy Kiwi friend Eeenntheeennnyyy, who I travelled with for three weeks ( I can’t believe it was only for three weeks, feels like a lot longer) and had a fucking blast with, whenever I feel a bit low I’ll just say something out loud in a Kiwi accent and I’ll immediately feel better.
3. Going to Chiang Mai, and Sankamphaeng is one of the best things I’ve done in my life. I have never kicked a bag, had boxing gloves on or wore shin pads before. And yes I’m a lazy bastard and my level of commitment compared to all the other fantastic muay thai king and queens was about 0,04. But that was enough for me and I really enjoyed it, despite being called a fat banana with a red face and repeatedly being punched in the belly. I can’t thank Nicke and Ood enough for everything and for welcoming me the way they did.
4. Oh my, these two fuckers. I can count on one hand the amount of people I’ve met who has managed to make me really happy but at the same time so fucking angry I could punch them in the face. These two managed to do just that. I kept being shouted at ( Richard) being called retarded ( Richard and Niko ), being left behind in Chiang Mai seeing him leave on the back of a song thaew after an argument about where to eat ( Niko ), had the star wars Darth Vader tune sung because of my apparent marching when walking around, being told I sneeze to loud and lots more. I could basically do nothing right. But still in the end of the day we ended up having tea in my room ( where to be honest the abuse continued). But it’s all memories and I’m happy I got to spend my fantastic two months in Sankamphaeng with you and all the rest of the absolutely fantastic, crazy one of a kind people I met and hung out with that I liked and didn’t want to punch!
5. THESE GIRLS!!!! How I love them after just spending two wecekends with them! What a bunch of bloody amazeballs girls! My lovely Hanna decided to get married and to send her off we all met up for a hen do in London, never met the rest of the girls before, but when the weekend was over I felt that it wasn’t just Hanna’s friends anymore, they became my friends as well. They even put up with me when I was a moody fucking cow during the bloody treasure hunt! And to see Hanna and Andy finally say I do was one of my favourite moments of 2017. I really do not wish anything but the best for this friend of mine, who has literally come running to be by my side when I needed it. Ten years ago we embarked on a massive adventure of moving to another country together despite never having met each other before, and I’m so glad we did and that you were the one I decided to stalk!
6. I went to Krabi and took the opportunity to go for my first dive, something I’ve always wanted to do since discovering the beauty of snorkelling. And if you have a spastic stepbrother who besides being spastic is also a dive instructor, you really have no excuse to not do it. So I did. I was probably mostly flailing around and being nibbled on by a fish who mistook me for a whale ( easy mistake to make), not sure I’ll go for a certificate considering my absolute terror of sharks ( who I btw snorkelled with in Koh Tao, and it was bloody seven of them and I nearly shat my pants and swam like I never swam before to get to land).
7. Getting up early in the morning and then spending the rest of the day sightseeing the massive temples of Angkor Wat with my new found friends I made while crossing the border to Cambodia and our happy, crazy guide Mao who told us about the history of the temples and took loads of crazy pictures of us. Ended that day with falling asleep in a massage parlour while having a foot massage.
8. Koh Rong Samloem, the Island of my dreams, but it wouldn’t have been the same without the people.I don’t think I’ve been more content with myself and accepted for who I was, as during the time I spent with Lele and Peblito and everyone else. Having happy brownies, hiking through water and jungle, running from the rain and stumbling on my flip flops in a puddle of water, playing card games and just enjoying life and the company of new friends who feel like old friends. Showering with a hose and a bucket, having kids, chickens, cats and dogs literally everywhere was also things that made my stay what it was.
9. Hardest one to write. Pip, my little cat. I might seem like a tough cookie, but I’m really not. I still cry because I miss her and feel like I didn’t do enough for her, or tried hard enough to find her when she went missing. And now I have to stop because the waterworks are about to go off, and I’m on the tube on my way to work so don’t really feel like crying my eyes out like a fucking muppet.
May you all have a fantastic New Years Eve wherever in the world you are and whatever you might be doing, and to old and new friends, thanks for fantastic memories, happy times, words of wisdom and just being who you are and coming into my life!
HAPPYY NEW 2018!!!