I remember those late nights of packing. It was right before we left our apartment in Provo and moved back home. Those nights were rough. I cried one night because I did not have heart to throw away more of my things. I sat there on the floor, sorting through our things, and it came to a point where I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. Jakob had already packed everything, he's a better planner and finisher than I. He's also not as emotionally attached as I, not when it comes to things at least. I turned to him and explained how I felt. I probably did not just cry because we were getting rid of our things that night, but because of the change that packing up our lives symbolized. We talked about it and he was so kind and understanding. We decided to pay for another suitcase for me so that I could bring a bit more of my things back home with me. I was so grateful.
Today I have gotten rid of so many of the things I brought back home with me. It's a little ironic to think that we payed extra money to bring back things that I now do not even own anymore. It's also eye-opening to realize that even from the few things that we brought home with us I still decided to bring things I didn't really need. It's interesting to think that we can care so much about things.
In a way our cross-atlantic move has forced us to be in this situation, with very few material things. It's what happens when you move across the world and don't really own anything worth shipping (it's super expensive!). And even though I am really looking forward to having a fully furnished apartment (we just ordered our couch yesterday!! wihoo, it will be delivered in January... 2019!! what.) I am so grateful that barely have any clutter in our space at this time.
I am finding myself less attached to things. I am finding that I am feeling a decreased desire to buy lots of things. Since having less I have also begun to want less. It's a feeling of freedom and power and I am really enjoying it. There are definitely still things that I want and that would add value to my life, and those are things that I look forward to buying and using. But I do have to admit that it is liberating to (almost) only own things I need and consistently use. Jakob and I don't have a lot of space, or things, right now, and it feels wonderful because it is helping us prioritize and only get those things that we have a place for and find useful. Call it minimalistic or whatever you'd like, to us it feels like a peaceful way of going about ownership and life.
I’m sure we will be at a place where we will have plenty of space one day, and I hope we remember to not just fill it with stuff, but with things that add joy, peace and value to us and our family.