I believe in the good things coming

... Even if they are taking an awful a lot of time to come.

"I am lonely." Three such strong words. When I realised that lonely is what I feel, and that that's what's feeding my anxiousness, I freaked. It felt like such a bad thing to be, almost worse than being bad or mean. I felt ashamed, as if it was pathetic to be lonely and even worse to admit it. To move abroad is a weird thing on an emotional level, it has fucked me up and made me grow at the same time. I moved for love and left everything behind. I left my friends, family, university, job, my cats and so many other things that I feel like I've lost and miss dearly.

But I believe in the good things coming and because of that, most days I'm fine.

But some days I'm not fine, I can't stand it, I can't stand being lonely. I feel like falling down and curling up into a ball and just laying on the floor. I feel like I don't have a friend in the world, even though I know that's not true. I feel like not even the reason I moved here, my love, is loving me. I feel like I shouldn't love myself. It damages my soul and it burns in my mind. I am lonely. It's stuck on the inside of my lids, staring at me every time I close my eyes. It makes me cry and wish I didn't leave, makes me look at flight tickets and start saving money just in case I panic and need to go home.

But I believe in the good things coming.

Gillar

Kommentarer

Sheltielove
Sheltielove,
You will be fine! You are not alone. Soon you be home for same days and you will feel that you miss your other Home. Without knowing it, your home moved to where your heart are 😍😘 Everything will get in place it just take some time ❤️❤️ nouw.com/sheltielove
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