I'm sorry I've been silent for a while here on the blog. There has been to much to handle at work. So when I got home I had no energy for anything, just wanted to sleep. My focus has been work and to keep my belly happy. It worked until this weekend, haha. The rough time at work is over, and I feel like my body is like "I''ve been good for two weeks, now I can't take it anymore". So I have had races to the bathroom, of course, and I have also lost my voice... I will have to rest a while.

Fun news! In two weeks I will start singing in a choir near my home - can't wait! I'm so exited! I'm really looking forward to it. And I can tell that my IBS overall is a bit better just by having that feeling. It's been a long time when I haven't had anything that has been my way to refill positivity in my life - because of my IBS I have isolated myself more and more. Just been able to work, to get money - not for fun.. Now I have a job that I really like (not these past two weeks, but overall), I think it's fun to do what I do, I like my colleagues and now when I've started excerice and soon will start the choir I really feel that it can only get better!

I've often been told that I need to seperate myself from the IBS - to see myself as Rebecca with some stomach problems, instead of just a person with IBS and don't live. You know what I mean? An illness can eat you up, you stop doing stuff because you get more ill by doing them and it just goes on until you don't do anything instead. But I'm on my journey to get out of that now! I'm also looking forward to spring, so we can start golfing again!

Also I have gotten my things for exercising at home, the things I told you about in my last post. It's a wriggle plate! I've been working with it for three days now - and I'm so tired in my body, in a positive way! Just by ten to twenty minutes workout I have a feeling in my whole body for the rest of the day - it's fantastic and fun! I really feel that I don't need to slap myself for not getting down to the gym now, then I can workout at home. It's such a feeling of freedom. This week I will get to the gym again, as soon as I get my voice back.

Hope you all have a good week!



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These past days hasn't been good.. Pms deluxe is one part. An other is that I havn't been completely well, so I have only had energy for work. When I get home I'm out. I've been really bad about eating dinner (more then once I havn't eaten at all..) and taking care of me and my IBS. My mind have been elsewhere... I strongely feel like I need to workout to feel better mentally, but my body has not been up to it. Just feeling locked up at home, with the tv.. Sooo depressing!

Some days ago I bought a small thing for easily exercise at home when my body is like this. I will tell you more when I get it (ordered online). Also I bought a belt to the belly, to focus on the stomach during exercise. I'll let you know when I get it all!

I hope I'll find some energy soon so I can come back to my journey and working for my goal!

Be well!

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I'm obsessed about my belly, I've always been. As a teenager I was always worried about showing my belly, and compared myself to others, all the time. I absolutely think everybody has that phase in life, but for me it was crazy. I was difficult about eating, and for years in school I didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Even if I was so skinny, it was never enough, you know? When I started high school me and my friend went to the gym almost every day; and I was part of a theatre group and a streetdance group. Still I only ate dinner...

So I have not had a good relationship to my body at all - and I still don't! BUT it's much better. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner now. And I exercise to feel good, not only to lose weight and be skinny. And more often feel good, pretty and sometimes even sexy in my body and clothes even if they are a big size. But then my IBS comes in...

If I get dressed in the morning and feel good, I don't feel good at all when my belly swells after lunch for example...I have also realiced that it will be hard for me to see the results from my exercise when I can't trust any before and after photos that I take. I honestly don't know when my belly looks "normal" because I'm more or less in pain all the time. And because of my past, that it has only been the belly that matters, I hope that I can keep it up anyway.

IBS is for sure a diagnosis that it's hard to plan for, at least I think so. If we talk about food and the fact that my belly swells.Some days I can eat a slice of bread, and nothing happens - and the next day it crashes completely if I eat the same. So even if I eat gluten free, fodmap or whatever. Always my daily fit of my IBS matters the most. The hardest part for me on this journey will definitely be food, I'm so not interested! And when my IBS is like a rollercoaster it doesn't matter. Do you understand? Then I don't get why I should offer so much of my time in something that doesn't give me positivity, if my belly crashes anyway. But I have made a decision - I will make this work! I will get better! And if I lose weight, that's a bonus!

The other day I shared a photo of me, my belly, before and after lunch. It really shows how it works! #ibssucks

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I was diagnosed in April 2014, here in Stockholm. But it really isn't easy to get there. I was in and out of hospitals for almost three years before I got my diagnoses - that was the worst part for me. So many tests and different medicines, and different doctors! All telling different reasons for my uncomfortable health of course..In the middle of everything I moved to Stockholm to start work besides of my fulltime studies (I'm a study and career guidance counsellor). A big move to a new town and new job adds a huge stress, so I was in a really bad condition for a long period. Now it's better, but as I wrote in the start of this post, it's not an easy way. I have changed job a lot during my years sience then, but now I have a perfect job - with A LOT of love and support from my colleagues and my boss. So I have just realised, that from now I have the possibility to actuality "heal" and not running over my IBS all the time by worrying if I needed to change job or move to a new apartment or so..

When I got diagnosed I tried to tell my mom (she works in the hospital, and have for years) but her reaction was a BIG no, that IBS doesn't exist and stuff. So I haven't tried since then - until recently! Me and my fiancé went to my parents for New Years this year, and now my mom is studying to be a nurse, and at the time she told us that she is learning about the gut right now, IBS and other diagnoses. So I took the chance of telling her again, now that I knew she knew it is for real. And it went so well, she wasn't even shocked! It was such a release for me. By telling her it helped me accepting my IBS too - so that's why I'm so new about my IBS in social media, a whole new world for me! Thanks for all support when I post stuff about my IBS! <3

I was so inspired by everyone that I felt that I want to help others too, with IBS and mental difficulties - so I started this blog. My feelings from finding so many on Instagram that also have IBS made me feel less alone, I hope my blog can help someone too. No one should be alone in illness.

I have IBS-D, which means diarrhea and stuff - never constipated. I react strongest to stress, from all the times at new jobs and everything, I've lived under a high level of stress for so long. As I wrote above, I have finally got a really good workplace and now I can start to work with calming myself down and rest my mind in this security. It will be a journey for sure! I will also have to lose some weight to feel better and to control my inflated stomach more.

So now when I have accepted my IBS and are ready to work with it I have started to think more about what I eat and I also go to the gym every other day just to go on the bike for a start. In 8 visits I've biked over 10 km - I'm so proud of myself! Last year I also started playing golf with my fiancé, for being outside and walk a lot. But also because we think it's fun of course! More stuff I do to feel better mentally is reading and drawing/coloring. I'm also very dedicated to keep my skin and hair healthy, at least once a week I do a face mask, hair mask and fixing my feet and stuff.

Not to look good as a first reason, It's because I like it, I like doing it - it makes me feel clean and that I take care of myself.

What more do you want to know about me?

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