CW/TW sexual harassment.

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You feel like a prey.

It was supposed to be a fun night, dancing, drinking, having fun with my friends.

There's no space, people everywhere pressed against each other in this tiny space called dance floor, people all around you, being way too close for you to be comfortable.

But you dance. Because that's what you do on a dance floor when there's music.

You dance. But you don't lift your arms up in the air, you don't really move around, you try to keep your movements limited and small. Because you don't want to attract any attention, so you're making yourself small.

Because suddenly, there's another body pressed against you. There's a hand. A touch you didn't allow, a touch you didn't want.

And it doesn't matter how small you make yourself out to be or how much clothes you're wearing. A risk of that body, that unwanted hand, is still equally as big.

And it probably won't take long until you stop going to these places. You stop, because the annoyance that occurs every single time is greater than the fun.

But the fact that this happens to almost every single female, is crazy. The fact that you feel like a prey as they're hunting to feast, the fact that they feel allowed to touch your body without your consent. The fact that you have to make yourself small, or even distance yourself from the situation entirely. The fact that your body isn't viewed upon as a body, but an object.

Written February 17th 2018.

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Today pretty much marks the end of my 30 day challenge! I've posted something everyday for 30 days, I'll keep trying to post something as often as possible but maybe not force myself as much if I have nothing interesting to say.

I'm pleased with the outcome, since I actually didn't believe that I'd be able to do this, that I'd forget or get bored, but here I am, 30 days later!

As I finish my participation in the challenge, I'd actually like to come forward with the fact that I'm currently writing a book. It's going quite well except a minor block in motivation, but I've gotten quite far! I think I'll actually post an extract from the book or a detailed description of one of the characters during the upcoming days.

I ended up not posting as many short novels as I would've liked, since I didn't always have the inspiration to write, but I realised I liked writing about my dreams and nails more! I'll probably keep varying my content the same way, since I like it that way, and I hope you do too.

Have a good day.

FYI; if you'd like to check out the challenge, it's here.

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I went to the gym today in order to work out with my best friend, it's been a little while since I last trained, and apparently I'd been sloppy with my iron tablets.

Ended up almost fainting because of iron defiency haha, had to buy a protein bar and eat while there, but I did resume workout afterwards! So looking forward to the pain tomorrow.

Also, my nails are slowly but surely growing back, they're almost back long enough for me to wanna paint them again.

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I've always wanted to be able to create cool masks, like the ones in The Legend of Zelda:Majora's Mask or just basic masquerade ones. They look so cool! And since Skull Kid and Happy Mask Salesman are both on my cosplanner list, I guess now's not a bad time to start learning.

My first try will be paper maché, I'll probably post some pictures and see how it goes. But I'm also considering wood, worbla and clay. It'll be fun.

I think I'll try doing the Deku Scrub mask first, just as I'm trying it out.

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I recently started using a website called koko, which was originally recommended to me by @jigglypuffen! And honestly, I've only been using it for like 5 hours today but I really like it.

Basically, you can write down all kind of worries, about love, school, family, friends, mental health e.t.c. and someone will reply to you. You can also reply to others and help them with similar problems! It's all completely anonymous, and your messages go through the site instead of directly to each other, if you like me get kind of nervous if it was direct chatting.

It kind of just makes you feel good to help someone, it makes you feel better even when you yourself are feeling down.

I'd recommend trying it!

Click here to get to the site.

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For those who don't know: I have a YouTube channel (actually like three of them but let's just focus on one). I sometimes make videos but I usually end up making them private after a few months before returning after another few months. And I'm probably closing in to making a few again! I have a few interesting ideas I'd like to try out, which I'll probably post here when or if I actually make them, but is there anything special you'd be interested in watching? I'm very much open to ideas since I find it funny to make videos and edit them.

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This is a pretty basic post, I've decided to drink more water.

Water is great for your body, and as a grown woman I should apparently drink about 11 cups a day? I drink one ahahahha I'm really bad at it.

So yesterday I started drinking more water and so far I'm still doing it, hoping I'll stick to it.

Also had another strange dream last night which I'll post about some other day since today I'm very tired, I worked and cleaned etc so it's nice just to relax for tonight.

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Tonight I had another strange dream, and since it's evening now I don't remember that much of it, but from what I wrote down I'll try to remember.

Apparently we renovated our bathrooms, and they looked more like changing rooms at like a school or something, and they were suddenly triple their original size.

Also I got pets, for some reason. I got a cat, guinea pig, three mice and a rabbit. I didn't have any food for the rabbit and was terrified it'd starve, the mice and guinea pig chewed a way out of their boxes since I didn't have cages for them yet, and the cat ate one of my mice. ALSO the cat turned into a female human with cat ears and I was really confused.

Then I decided to enter a carnival/competition on Öland (an island near my town in Sweden) where I found my friend Adam and his two friends (I think one of them was his girlfriend idk about the second) and he was supposedly emo in my dream? However, he was obviously nice to me since he's a sweetheart but then this weird guy showed up and ran around annoying us and suddenly Adam acted exactly as Regina George in Mean Girls, just towards this guy and his friends acted like her friends.

Oh, and Jedward sang for me on a stage.

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I haven't really written about this to any of my friends or spoken about it a lot, unless you follow me on twitter because it's my ranting place. But my mom had surgery a week ago today, she removed her bile which was apparently completely full of gallstone, and she's still recovering. She went back to work for a few hours today though, and when we hadn't heard from her for hours dad got kind of worried. He texted her like, 4 times and called her twice, no replies in about two hours. My mom is often like this, she doesn't reply a lot and I'm the same way, but my dad still got worried. So he drove over to her workplace because it's often empty there, and she wasn't there at all, as she came home about 30 minutes later, her reply was "I got a manicure I couldn't reply" which was so typical of my mom.

Also got my new wig and my jacket for Majima is done, will be doing some costests soon which will probably be up on my cosplay instagram.

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