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Hello everyone! (Imagine a very British accent here since I’m currently sitting on my flight to London while writing this)

It’s nearly a new year! 2018! How crazy is that? I can’t really believe it myself actually, but I plan to embrace the new year with all that it will entail for me. I’m a true nerd when it comes to organizing and just sorting out my life with challenges, you guys can probably already tell. I love having goals for the new year, yes I call them goals and not resolutions. It just seems less stressful to say that you have a goal, and it takes some of the pressure of I feel. Anyway, I thought I would share those goals with you all in case someone needs some inspiration and motivation for the new year!

Goals for 2018:

1. Go vegan for a year. Yes, I’ve been “playing” with veganism for the last few months, but this year I want to fully commit and keep a strictly vegan diet. No cheese cheats. I’m doing this for a few reasons. First of all, because being vegan makes me feel good. I’m less tired, my insides feel better and my relationship with food is so much better.

I’ve gotten so much more confident in the kitchen and I plan to keep that up and get even better at cooking new, exciting food. It feels good to be apart of something that is good for the environment AND the animals. I want to see a change in my body. I’ve never really been fully confident with how I look, and I hope that being vegan while working out regularly will help me reach a stage where I feel a bit better about my body.

2. That ties into my next goal, which is to get fit for real. I want to really focus on my fitness this year and take going to the gym seriously. I’ve been quite good the last month, so I just want to keep that motivation up. I plan on signing up to more work out classes but also just go to work out on my own more. I’m doing it for my body, but also for my mental state, since it makes me feel a lot happier and more relaxed, something that I need desperately with all the stress I put on myself around uni.

3. I need to relax more and stress less about school. This is an important one. If you’re like me and you put a ridiculous amount of pressure on yourself, you know how difficult it is to deal with. This year I want to keep my head straight and I try to change the way I go about studying. I want to focus more when I actually sit down with my work, and I want to reward myself by relaxing when I need it.

4. I want to watch more movies and read more books. This is pretty self-explanatory. I’m super into movies and books and I don’t allow myself to enjoy them enough!

5. I need to budget and save money for real. I’m going to start writing everything down so that I know where my money goes and through that I hope I can begin to save a bit more.

6. Be kind. This is simple as well. I just want to spend the year being as kind as I can be, because that is so underrated.

Those are it for now I think. I don’t want to write down too many since that can be stressful on its own, but I think you get the gist. If you’ve been planning to set up any of these goals as well, let me know! We can help each other on the way! If you have any other goals I’d love to hear them as well. New years is such a good time to allow yourself to get in touch with yourself and what you want out of life. It’s like a new chapter, and you get to write it all down yourself. Let’s make it a good one!

x

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It's December!! I can't really explain it, but I just feel really, really happy about it being so close to Christmas and the new year. I've always been a fan of this time, but this year just seems special somehow. The Christmas feels have hit me so much earlier than usual, and I love it. I love feeling happy and content. It's the best feeling ever. And this time of the year kinda does that to me. I love the start of a new year as well, so I'm so excited for new years. Not only because I'll be spending it with one of my best friends in the city I love, but because it's just a real chance for you to close a chapter of your life and begin a new one. If there's something you don't like about your life, or something you wish you'd do that you haven't, why don't you use the new year as an excuse to get going? I know people always say that you should start changing your life now if you really want a change, instead of waiting for the new year, but you know what? Sometimes we need a little push! We need an event that is familiar and that we can visualize. I honestly believe that helps! I already have a few things in mind for the new year, challenges or just goals in general, and I'll probably post most of them here once we make it to 2018. That helps too, sharing it. It makes you work harder to actually make it.

I've uploaded two videos to my youtube channel for vlogmas. I said I'd let you know so I am. Don't feel that you need to watch them, like I said, this is for me. But I love doing this so much, so I'll definitely continue. It's nice to have somewhere where I can just be me.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzWZ7b7-_9Bmq9FSR4hCUdw

x


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Greetings lovely people. I haven't updated you in a while, and I'm sorry about that. Let's hop straight into the purpose of this post though! When I last spoke to you I had just downloaded Storytel (still not a sponsor) and I have actually managed to listen to quite a few books which I'm so pleased about! Quick review of each one just incase you're interested!

What the most successful people do before breakfast: You all know that I'm an advocate for waking up early and facing the day, so what this book did for me was simply motivating me even more to continue this. It basically talks about how much people manage to get done in the morning and what a difference this makes for their stress levels during the day. A really inspiring and short read if you need a little push!

The law of attraction: I've wanted to read this book forever because I've heard so many people talking about it online. The law of attractive basically entails how we attract the things that happen to us with our moods and thoughts. Like if you're a very negative person and you're always thinking about how much of a failure you are, you are going to attract that negative energy and the good things won't present themselves to you. They also talk a lot about envisioning what you want and how that will eventually be given to you if you have the right mindset. I really recommend listening to it if you're into that stuff, like I am.

Omgiven av idioter: First book that's in Swedish, sorry about that. But I do recommend reading it. It's quite long, but if you're into psychology and human behavior and just basically figuring out why people are the way they are, this is perfect. The author divides people with different behaviors in groups and basically teaches you how to deal with them. I think I'm a mix between yellow and green, if you've read it. Oh, if any of you actually did, what colors do you think you are??

Turtles all the way down: I was incredibly stoked to see that they had John Green's new book on there, and I was not disappointed. If you're a fan of his other work, like the fault in our stars and paper towns, you'll love this. I love his writing style so much, and the way he portrays the characters is just so so real. I'm not gonna get into what it was about really because you just need to read it asap. I'll just mention that it focused a lot on friendships, which I really appreciated. Let's hope they'll make a movie at some point. *fingers crossed*




I also wanted to post a couple of pictures of my current favorite outfits I've worn recently now when it's been a bit colder. I actually really like autumn and winter because I tend to get hot pretty quickly, so I actually appreciate the cold and the chance to wear jumpers. The stuff is pretty much all from H&M and Zara which have been my go to shops since I came back to Sweden.



I love filming and editing, and I'm constantly wishing I'd do it more often. Because of this, I've decided to do vlogmas this year. If you're not regularly on youtube, it's a thing pretty much every youtuber does, where they vlog everyday from the first of December and leading up to Christmas. I'm gonna try to do that this year, and if I manage to keep it up, I'm gonna invest in a nice camera next year. I'm really excited! I probably will keep on doing it for the whole of December because my friend Emmy and I are going to London (specifically Kingston where I lived) at the end of the year and I plan to document it very well. If any of you would be actually interested in watching, I'll drop a link once I publish the first one. I don't really mind if no one watches them to be honest, they're more for me than for anything else. Yay for ways to be creative, right?

I gotta get ready for a seminar now, wish me luck!

x

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I like putting up a challenge for the month, you guys know that now. Even though I don't follow them all to a tee, (like posting every day in October, that went great), I do still enjoy having something to strive for or to put my attention on. This month I've decided to read as much as I can. I figure since one of my courses for school is going to be doing lots of research I might as well go all in and just collect as much information and enjoyment as I can from written words of other people. I'm definitely a self-help book kind of girl. I love reading about how you can change your life to make you stress less or how the way you think can make you live a more positive life. It's like crack to me. I also love learning new things, it makes me feel more accomplished and motivated.

I don't always have the time or motivation to sit down with a book though, so this month I decided to try a free month trial from the app storytel. (And before you say anything, I know that sounds like the first line of a sponsored video, and no, I'm sadly not sponsored by storytel.) I was actually pretty impressed by the amount of audiobooks they offered, since I've been disappointed by Swedish audiobook apps before. Since I don't tend to be interested in Swedish books there needs to be a big selection in the English category. And there was! I actually ended up listening to the entire thing of #girlboss today, a book I've wanted to read forever. I've heard so much about it and I was not disappointed. I can highly recommend it to any girl out there that needs some motivation, especially if you're in your twenties. Sophia is such a cool woman and she definitely made me want to go out there and be a girl boss. I'll keep you guys updated as the month goes on, let's see how many books I can finish!

x


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October really flew by. I always say this, but it's so freaking true. Time moves far too fast.It's so easy to just go along with it and not really think about it. This month I'm gonna try to not do that as much. I'm gonna true to live in the moment a bit more, enjoy what I'm doing every second. Relax and let myself just be sometimes. My head is always focus on things that are coming up, and I think it's the reason for the stress I tend to feel. I have two pretty big projects for school until the end of the year so I really wanna try to handle it better than I did last month. I'm leaving what happened in October behind and I'm starting a new chapter.

Speaking of chapters, I finished deathly hallows yesterday. If you're a massive Harry Potter fan like me you probably know the feeling of being close to finishing the series for the 100th time and how you kind of don't want to because that means it's over all over again. This was the first time I properly read them all in English as well, so it was kind of special for me. One good thing is that I can now finally watch the two movies I have left, since I've been rewatching them along with finishing the books.

I'm gonna try to spend some more time on my notes for school this month. I'm absolutely obsessed with the pretty notes people post on tumblr, so I thought it might inspire and motivate me a bit if I spend some more time on them. I'm also going to get out of the house more when studying, since I find that makes me a lot less likely to panic and try to procrastinate. One of my favorite places to sit at is the cafe where my sister works.

Does anyone have any studying advice or just some tips for how you stay motivated? I'm always open for suggestions and some motivational words.


x

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So let's just say that this month has not been the best for me. I am however, starting to feel better. My stressful schoolwork as paid off and I'm finished with the two first courses of the semester. I have a whole weekend to relax until the next one starts on Monday. I feel okay though. More motivated. This might sound weird for a person who hates mornings, but I truly believe it's because I woke up at 6 am today.


I've actually always been a morning person, and for a while now I work up early every morning. When I started feeling bad this month, I fell off that. It was like my brain didn't want to allow itself the motivation that always seems to spike when I'm up and doing stuff before 7. But with how good I'm feeling today, I've made up my mind. I'm going back to putting my alarm on 6 am. It's something so comforting about being up that early that I can't really explain. I guess I enjoy the fact that I can make a cup of coffee and then go back to bed and watch stuff while I allow myself to wake up. That I don't have to feel like I'm at war with time and get stressed. I needed to finish some stuff for my assignments today and I was so motivated to do so because I was up so early. If you haven't tried it, I can definitely recommend it. To do this properly you obviously need to be in bed at like 10 or 11 pm, because you still need to get enough sleep. I'm kind of a grandmother, so that isn't a problem for me. Especially when you're a student at uni and you don't have to wake up that early, I think it could really help to do so. I especially like it at this time of the year, because it was still dark when I woke up, and I got to watch the sun come up. If that doesn't motivate you to make the most of your day, what does?


I have three more tips for you guys before I go. First of all, my favorite youtube duo have a book out, and if you're a gmm nerd like me, you'll need to go pick this up. There is nothing more inspiring than their devotion to each other and what they do. My second tip is for all the design students out there using laptops. Pick up a monitor. I got this one and I'm completely obsessed. I just know it will make my life so much easier when working in the adobe programs, and since I don't own a TV, this is like the next best thing. And the third tip for all my vegan swedes out there who still want to enjoy fredagsmys tonight and feel, like I, that they deserve a treat. These three items are all vegan.


Happy Friday everyone! x

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I'm starting to feel a bit better, I think. I'm still not feeling like myself, and I find it pretty annoying by now, because I just want to feel alright and happy again, you know? The last few days have been a filled with trying to finish my assignments to the best of my ability, and watching tons of Zoe vlogs. Like I mentioned before they really help me when I'm feeling anxious. I'm not really watching most of the time either, I just have them on in the background. And it helps. I've also done a bit of painting to distract my brain, and I'm actually really happy with the picture I made surrounding a cool quote I found a while ago that I liked. I'm still learning how to work the watercolors, so don't judge me too hard ok?

One amazing thing that happened last week was the arrival of my very first vegobox! Vegobox is a subscription that send you a box once a month with vegan snacks! I was really happy with the contents of the box, and I'm already really looking forward to the next one.

I hope you're all feeling well and that you got a productive start to your week. I actually did manage to finish editing my video project today so I'm pretty stoked.

x

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Yesterday was mental health awareness day. It's kind of funny, the way it sort of landed right in the middle of some of the worst days I've had in my life.

I am not diagnosed with anxiety. I don't take medications for it, never have. I didn't really think I had it until I had a panic attack while living in England a bit over a year ago. I was always a pretty nervous child, like my stomach was constantly in flutters before I was going to do stuff, and I sometimes felt a bit sick with nerves. But I never really let it get to me. It wasn't stronger than I was.

But as I’ve gotten older, it has started to grow. I get this pit in my stomach a lot, for no reason. Sometimes my heart starts to race and I have to remind myself to breathe calmly. I’ll have things to go to that shouldn’t make me feel sick with nerves, but they do. Even though I know it’s going to be okay, it’s like my body doesn’t. But I’ve had it under control for quite a while now, and I’ve been feeling good.

I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself. Pressure to be happy, positive, a good friend, a supportive big sister, a daughter my parents can be proud of, to have a great lifestyle, to be a productive student. I’m always striving to do things at the best of my ability, and when I don’t feel that I’ve reached that, I push further. I work myself up over things, I stress, I overthink. I try so hard. And right now, I feel like I’ve reached rock bottom. The last few days have been absolutely horrible. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve talked down on myself a lot. I’ve felt like a failure. I can’t pretend I don’t feel the pressure anymore. That it isn’t too much. It’s the worst, isn’t it? When the only one pressuring you and making you feel anxious, is yourself? How do you get yourself to quit fucking with you? I can’t be the perfect person I’m trying to be. Because perfection doesn’t exist. We’re all messy. We all have shit to deal with. And I really need to deal with mine.

It’s mad, isn’t it? That you can go from feeling amazing and like you’re on this great mission in life, only to fall to the bottom in a pile of shit? I guess this is a great way to show people that don’t really get mental health problems that yes, they do in fact exist and they work in fucked up ways. And for my fellow anxious people out there, here’s another person to tell you that you’re not alone in your feelings.

I’ve felt anxious before, and I’ve gotten past it. I will get past this too. But I need to start being nicer to myself. I need to start letting myself fail. I need to give myself a break.

Can everyone reading this to me a favor? Take care of yourselves. Because your health is the most important thing, and you should never let anything take its place.

x

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Day 8 was a bit better than day 7. I still don't feel completely alright to be honest, I don't know what it is but hopefully it will pass soon. I'm really glad that I still managed to make it to the gym this morning for a body balance class because a lot of the time when I'm not feeling well I don't have the motivation to go. But I did and it was great but now my muscles are super sore. I think I've truly found my hips for the first time in forever, and man, it hurts. But I like the pain, it makes me feel good, like I've accomplished something. After the class I went straight to the food shops and stocked up on a few things. I'd made up my mind about baking vegan banana bread, so I had the get stuff for that. I also just picked up some vegetables and things for cooking.Once I finally made it home, I was already exhausted. So I spent the rest of the day baking, doing a bit of school work and cooking dinner. I kind of made a pad thai for the first time and it was actually really good. Here's to being adventurous in the kitchen!

I'm sorry these posts are so boring, I just don't really feel very interesting at the moment, you know? Anyway, tomorrow is Monday and I have high hopes for it to bring my mood back up. I love Mondays. I know, what? But I don't have class on Mondays and I just tend to feel really inspired since it's the start of the week. I have to really start on my film project for my interaction class, so let's hope it all works out. I hope you reading this had a nice Sunday, whatever you were doing.

x

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I'm gonna be honest here, day 7 was kind of a let down. I woke up with a headache and even though I tried to ignore it by drinking lots of water and going to the gym for my body pump class, it stayed with me most of the day. So I haven't had the best day. I hoped to get a lot done, and it didn't happen. That in turn makes me feel worse since I start stressing more about what I need to do. Man, I just really wish I was more relaxed with this stuff. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm gonna try to sleep it off and hope that tomorrow will be a better day and that I will have the strength and motivation to get stuff done. I honestly just want to go to sleep right now, so this is going to be the shortest update so far.

Hey, on a happy note, I finally received materials for my art class, and I'm so excited to get started with it. I ordered it all of Adlibris and it actually wasn't that expensive, which is a huge plus.

Will anyone reading this send me a virtual hug and cross their fingers that I'll feel better tomorrow? I kinda need it.

x

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