In these kind of relationships where you feel sadness and disappontment, especially on yourself is not a relationship worth having. Your partner is never allowed to put you down in that kind of mood where you feel nothing but hopelessness. We all now that for sure but some stay with their partner instead of saving themselfs. my question is.

Is it worth it?

No! It isn't. Your well being is the most important thing for you and you shall always respect your own health , both physical and psycological. When it comes to a healthy relationship with your life long partner, communication is the key. Talk about what is bothering you and be honest. A lot of women out there say that everything is fine when it isn't and I need you all to stop that. Of course your man (or woman) choose to go to someone else to have fun, talk to and just enjoy life. No wonder so many are cheating on their S.O. when you act like a bitch to someone you say you love and care about. Your partner is not a broken toy you can toss around with. It's a living being with a heart and soul. If something is wrong, tell them! If something is bothering you, tell them! If you can't talk about at the very moment they ask you how you feel, just tell them "Can we talk about it later? I need to breathe and calm down for the moment". It's not that hard. Grow up.

Why should I grow up? It's His / Her fault!

If you have to ask that question about growing up, you should. That means you need to get yourself together and be the person your S.O deserves. Blaming someone else for your own mistakes and act like a victim is not a choice you should have. Take resposability for your actions and be mature enough to confess your wrong doings.

Why am I the only one who have to grow up?

No, you're not. the same goes for your partner. If you are the person who is exposed to someone like I've already described you should talk to someone. otherwise I have one good tip for you. Name 10 things you love about your S.O. If you can't meantion atleast 7 things you love, you might consider to leave for your own sake. That means your partner is killing you slowly and all the things you menation about loving your partner will fade into nothing more but pain and sorrow.

Why should I leave? I love my S.O.!

If you truly do love someone you can, without any trouble say at least 10 things. Otherwise is nothing more but an abusive relationship where you are the victim. It goes both ways.

Remember, If it is love, you'll know. Because that person will do everything for you to smile and feel safe.

And the same goes for you.

Can you do the same, without hesitation?

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  • Filed under: Advice



Everyday life

Something I thought of, sitting here in my couch between my pale walls. Why are we silienced by society? Is this meant to be a life worth living?

If so, why?

I've been thinking about how life would be without friends and family. You would be left naked and exposed for everyone to see. Your eyes, filled with tears and anger. Just a little something I came across my time in rehab, why are we punished for being humans?

I spent 2 years in a place I didn't belong. Or so I thought. either way, I had a great time thanks to a girl. We shared laughs and music, our desires to a free life and equality between us all.

I remember one time when people in there spent to much time worring about 6 specific individuals, drug addicts and fools trying to have a little revolution. Throwing chairs and furnitures all around our hallway. I knew she was frighten, shaking and crying in her room. She had the room across me and 3 doors down the hall. I had to go out there and face these maniacs and get in to her and show her, she is not alone.

4 people are working that night, no one had any idea on how they could stop them. I could hear them talking outside about calling the police and ambulance. Apperently they all were incompentented fools. So I braced myself and armed up. Boots one, fists, check. and pissed off. I had to get to her, any means necessery.

As I opened my door they came right at me. Screaming and calling me names. Shouting right up in my face, spitting and cursing.


Ugly, fatty, whore etc. Isn't it fun to be called things you already knew. Being called everything you hate about yourself right up in your face. Just like a knife it force it self right into your back and puncture your fragile heart.

I pushed through and knocked on her door. Screaming her name and what she needed to bring so we could leave. During the longest 5 minutes of my life I had to endoure words and punches they threw at me, until I was speechless. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream. I just stood there and took it all. Every word, every punch and every pinch. Touching and grabbing, just because they wanted too. As she opened her door I got back to reality, I could finally focus on one person who needed my help to get out of here.

As we walked out with me covering her from them we began to talk about the universe. Philosophy and astronomi. We sat outside and talked all night, smoking and drinking. ( No alcohol unfortunately)

And just like that, one person, my friend, my sister and my partner in crime. Made me feel alive again, and worthy of a life upon this earth.

With all this said and done, my thoughts go to us who feel worthless because of people like that. People who take what they want no matter the consequences for people around them.

The injustice we all experience, our system isn't working. Are you ready to fight it or follow it blind and trusting.

It's up to you.

Fight or Perish.

  • Filed under: Everyday life



Old Texts & Poems

I'm a warrior who fights for justice.
I'm a solider who died for what I believe in.
Fighting for myself and for others got me killed.
I still believe in justice and respect but unfortunately my enemies are stronger than me.
I can't rise against them alone..
And I'm always fighting alone



Everyday life

Hur mår du?

Jadu, det har jag frågat mig själv varje dag. De gånger jag tänker på att hänga mig själv från en bjälke eller knapra piller cocktails och skölja ner med vodka, så svarar jag bra. Alltid samma ord.


Vadå bra?
Jag försöker svälta mig själv för att bli finare.
Jag kämpar dagligen med självmordstankar.
Jag vill bara sätta mig i ett hörn och gråta.

Jag mår bra.

Instängd och paralyserad av mitt egna psyke. Det är som om mitt liv inte finns längre. Jag andas men lever inte.

Vad gör jag fel?

Jo, allt. Jag gör allt fel. När jag ler gör jag fel. När jag skrattar är det fel. När jag andas är det fel. Allt jag gör är fel.

Varför är du så tyst?

För så fort jag öppnar min mun så är det ingen som lyssnar.
För så fort jag tänker säga något så avbryter folk mig.

Varför tar du inte mer plats?

För det är fel. Jag får inte ta plats. Det är fel. Jag är fel.

Jag är FEL.