So I've written and re written this part of the blog several times because whenever I re-read what I've done I feel like. It's so self serving and narcissistic, but I've sort of resolved myself to that at this point, given that this is a blog about me that I'm writing for cathartic purposes.

I personally consider myself painfully average. I don't consider myself to have any mind blowing skills, and I'm an average looking human... so yeah, basic model, usual expiry date, all that crap. While I'm soon to be under psychological evaluation for severe depression and anxiety, I don't think I'll write about that until a confirmed diagnosis.

So let's talk about my sex life. It's what I read blogs for so why not add to the genre. I've been with my current partner for ten years, since we were 13, and we couldn't be closer. We grew up in a very "us against the world" scenario, as her mother didn't approve of me, for reasons unknown to anyone but her, regardless, we grew closer as a result of people giving us shit, and by getting through it all by supporting each other.

While we didn't start fucking proper until we were about 15, I would often lick her out and work her over with my fingers whenever we got a chance alone. She felt guilty because she wasn't blowing or otherwise reciprocating. But I was ok with this mostly because I've got what's pretty much a pathological need for acceptance, and making someone enjoy themselves scratches an itch I can't properly explain. Call it me just stroking my ego, but leaving my girl satisfied was enough for me to be happy.

This helped a lot as we started having sex proper, as she's extremely tight (still is bizarrely, some trick of anatomy) and she experienced quite a bit of pain during sex in the early months, and would often ask me to stop, so I'd usually finish her off with my mouth or hands. She would feel guilty that she wasn't living up to her end of the relationship bargain, but I told her I wouldn't be ok with her suffering just because of me. Don't get me wrong I don't think I should congratulated for doing the decent thing here, I'm just starting out explaining my... patience... in the bedroom as it will become important in explaining later experiences.

Embarrassing story first time my partner ever blew me was a shock for her. She hadn't seen me naked, and she had me sat down in a chair, while she kneeled in front of me. She was determined to return the favour and although we were both nervous I whipped it out. The look of shock on her face is something I'll never forget. I'm by no means massive in terms of endowment (porn parody title right there) however I know that that I am above average in size, but irrespective of that, having someone's erect cock suddenly tight in front of your face can be a bit much to process.

We began as a very vanilla couple, but as further blogs will explain we have developed a fairly basic relationship into something complex, unconventional and yet strangely functional.



So I did a thing. I've been meaning to do something like this for a very long time however everything and nothing has always been in the way. As much as I would love to begin this blog with a post about me, going in depth and whatnot, however I don't have the time right now to accurately write that out...

So I'll begin with a fun little story. I wrote this during a university tutorial, wherein we were told to write a short story in ten minutes that emphasised the physical aspects of emotion. I hope you enjoy!


smoke gathered around the ceiling in a slowly swirling haze and the sharp smell of menthol cigarettes perforated the air, one of the men sitting around the suede covered table coughed to clear his throat, a deep, growling sound that broke the otherwise silent tableau

The room was a collection of men whom had been rejected or otherwise removed from all the local pubs and clubs, men whose collection of muscles,facial hair and tattoos was all the validation they needed to inspire in the minds of those around them that they were not to be messed with.

Amidst these men Doug grasped his His cards in one sweaty hand while he drained the rest of his beer, the bitter taste doing very little to soothe the growing tension in his stomach. Across from him sat a ogre of a man they all simply called dredge, whose sheer size called for him to hunch down or face bumping the ceiling. Held in dredge's hands were a set of cards that were to rival dougs own, and doug stared deep into dredge's dark eyes, searching for some indication of what was going on in the giants mind, and what fate would be in store for doug...

"Well come on" one of the other men gathered said, breaking the spell that had held the room in its unnatural stillness "get on with it"

And so with his mouth dry and his hands shaking doug opened his mouth and tentatively asked the do or die question...

"Got any threes?"

The big man smiled menacingly and the tightness in dougs stomach tripled as he heard the dreaded words...

"Go fish"