Today's topic is about me learning to set boundaries.
It not about your feelings it is about my safety.
If you give me a drink at a party and I just meet you and I kindly denied to take it. And you said
- Is it because you don't trust me?
- I'm a nice guy.
- I wouldn't do that.
- I just want to give you a drink
Then I'm gonna say:
- Yes, I don't trust you, cause I just meet you. I don't care about your feelings if it about my safety.
- You aren't a nice guy if you can't accept and respect a simple no but also
- I don't know you enough to come to that conclusion.
- I appreciated the gesture but I'm gonna say no thank you.
My safety comes before any guy's feelings. If I don't feel comfortable with taking drinks from strangers. They need to accept that. I used to end up saying yes because I felt guilty for not trusting them and I felt bad for hurting their emotions and saying no. But not anymore.
I'm growing and learning to set boundaries. This is one I should have sat a long time ago, but I'm also learning that I used to change my boundaries because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, like their feelings matter more than my safety. When in reality is, that my safety should matter more than their feelings.
Never apologize for not trusting someone. Trust is earn.. not free for everyone to give and take. It's okay if you don't trust a new person and if someone makes you feel guilty about it. They are the problem. Not you. Never you.