I’m currently lying on the sofa after having some Lebanese food while watching friends, let me tell ya.. this is heaven for me!

My mood is severely up and down at the moment and after suffering from a nasty cold for over a week, I am finally starting to feel better.

So what have I been up too? Well last week was a bit of a nightmare health wise and ended with the GTT test (glucose tolerance test), which I absolutely hated! For you all who might not know what that test is or does; it checks if you have gestational diabetes. From my understanding hospitals tends to do the test differently, however it is essentially two different blood tests taken at different times on an empty stomach and drinking a very sugary and disgusting drink. They compare the blood test before the drink with after the drink to check whether you have it or not. It is usually a two hour wait between the blood tests and by the time I was doing my second test, I was so dehydrated and exhausted that they couldn’t find any veins. It took forever and my arm is still bruised!

I was feeling really rough the whole day and when I woke up the following morning I still felt strange and noticed that baby P wasn’t moving how she normally does. By now she has her little pattern that I know really well and as the day went by I just couldn’t feel her being her “normal” self. I called the triage and was told to come in because reduced movements etc is taken very seriously and you’d always rather be on the safe side! So ladies - don’t hesitate to call the triage if you get worried!!

When we got to the hospital, they monitored her heartbeat for over 30 min to check that it was stable. Little miss diva had curled herself up in the strangest position so it took a while for the machine to read her heartbeat properly. Probably the longest 5 min of my life! Anyways, she was doing fine so they sent me home and also gave me the results from my GTT test, not even close to having gestational diabetes but my iron levels were borderline low so I have been given tablets to take to boost it up. I hope the tablets will perk me up a bit because I am getting exhausted soooo much quicker at the moment.

I have nearly fallen asleep 5 times while writing this. No joke!

We had our growth scan today and baby P has been growing perfectly! No growth abnormalities detected and she’s getting the perfect amount of oxygen from my placenta and the cord. It made us so happy! I was really worried something would be wrong or needing extra attention so to hear that she’s doing perfectly fine really removed a heavy weight from my shoulders!

I’m so close to being 10 weeks away from meeting her and the thought is just so crazy to absorb at times!!!! In just over 10 weeks my baby girl will be here and life will change totally. It is such a BIG thing to grasp. My baby daughter! She’s here with me right now, I can feel her move and kick and for the next ten weeks I’ll feel her even more before it’s time to give birth to her.

I just can’t believe it... it all hits me every now and then and my whole being fills with so much joy and love. A love that’s too big to comprehend and I haven’t met her yet. I’m so ready for all the changes that comes with being a parent, the good and the bad. It might sound naive to some of you or some may think “hah, She’ll regret that after x amount of sleepless nights”. But I don’t think so, because in my world family is everything! I have had my selfish years, I have done me, me and my husband have had 7 amazing years together and we are so ready to expand now. So even the struggles, cries, sleepless nights doesn’t weight up to the happiness and joy we will feel soon. Or that we are already feeling!

Everything will be more than okay! I am a firm believer that you Grow through what you Go through and that life never hands you anything you simply cannot handle. Good and bad.

I can get a bit frustrated with not knowing or being in control of what’s to come soon but even when I’m in the midst of a tantrum I realise how unnecessary it actually is because everything ALWAYS works out the way it’s supposed to! Not once have I been put in a situation I haven’t had the strength or ability to overcome.

I’m not going to lie, the thought of not working is what stresses me out the most. Only because I have never done that before and not sure how I’ll react to it, what doors it’ll open or close? But then again.. it doesn’t matter to try and analyse that now, time will tell.

It will all be OK! More than OK! Actually pretty damn perfect.

Remember that xx




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Oh hi there..

Hope the week has been good!

I have developed a really bad cough and last night I couldn't sleep for more than one hour straight without waking up either having to pee or to cough my lunges out. It is very annoying and every time I cough it feels like I'm hurting the baby :( I know that getting a cold or coughing during pregnancy is not harming the baby but it sure feels like it.

I read that a woman's immune system goes down quite a bit in the third trimester? I have been around so many people who's either had a cold or a viral infection, also public transport probably doesn't help either, really hope I start to feel better soon!

Today I've just been relaxing at home, I have had no energy to do anything due to the lack of sleep I am having, Little P is head down and the pressure on my bladder is unreal. I constantly have to get up to pee, it really disturbs my sleep and sometimes she starts moving around and kicking so it takes longer to fall back asleep again.

Anyways.. the highlight of this weekend was our private 4d scan yesterday. I HIGHLY recommend it!!! We got to see her face in 4d and it was such a crazy experience. I may be biased but she is the cutest and most adorable little baby I have ever seen <3. As soon as I saw her, I saw so much of her dad in her. She really looks like him! Every scan has made me cry (hello hormones), but I kept it together yesterday, however as soon as we got in the car and I looked at the pictures again I just broke down in tears and the love just felt so overwhelming. Our little angel baby! At the beginning she was hiding her face with her hands, she's done this before. It's as if she knows haha. After a while she finally removed her hands from her face and placed them on one side of her face, in her mouth and below her face haha.

I am less than three months away now!! It feels like everything has gone by so quickly and slow at the same time. I will share my birth plan and thoughts about giving birth soon it you guys want?

My husband has just made a chicken and veg gratin for dinner while I have been lazy on the sofa feeling sorry for myself, so time for dinner and relax time with my favourite person. 

If you know of any good natural remedies to cure this cough let me know. I have tried lemon, ginger etc.

Hi bump! <3

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Can I just say how happy it makes me that you guys are still reading my blog and that my readers are increasing. It would be amazing if you started writing comments as well! :) I would love to know who you all are? What kind of posts you’d like to see more of/less of etc?

How’s your weekend been?
I have had a pretty relaxed weekend at home mostly. As I mentioned previously, we are in the process of buying a new bed, however the correct way to put this is that my handyman of a husband is building us the bed :). I don’t even know how many times we went out to look at beds and he felt that every single one of them weren’t ‘good enough’, which translates to ‘I’m going to build this bed’. After a while I caved in and let him and I have to say, so far it is amazing! Really good quality and I got to decide the design, I went for a very simple and minimalistic bed. He has done such a great job and I can’t wait to share with you guys the end result once he is done.

We decided to invest in a really good mattress from Heals, bedding, duvet and pillows. We got two of those huge king size pillows and two standard size ones, I’m SO excited!! Secretly I’m hoping I’ll be less uncomfortable sleeping but I doubt it, guess we will see.

As I have also mentioned, I finally decided to invest in a camera and spent a while figuring out what to go for/where to start.
Luckily my lovely friend Laura helped me with figuring out which camera to go for and in the end I decided for the canon m6, I am very pleased with my choice. It is perfect for a newbie and for the type of photographs I’m looking to take/learning how to take. I took it out with me yesterday to try it out and I understand why some people fall in love with photography! It is so much fun and can’t wait to learn more and to become better.

Besides that and how in love I am in my new camera I don’t have much to report. Next week will mainly be about work and getting back into some sort of routine, however on Saturday we have our 4D scan to get a better glimpse of our angel baby ❤️

My husband is out tonight at a work do so I’m alone, already thinking about what to eat?

Hope you have a wonderful day! 

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Good evening!

First of all I must say how much I enjoyed swimming. It felt so good and I left feeling much lighter and less uptight, it was so nice to get to use my whole body again. I am definitely going to stick with swimming 2-3 times a week because it makes me feel very good and relaxed afterwards.

I have missed that feeling! There has been times in my life where I have been more active and gone to the gym on a consistent basis and I have always felt so good when I have done that. Both mind and body have thanked me for putting the effort in and pushing myself. However, then there's still those long periods of no gym visits and very low activity and my excuse is always that 'life got in the way' or something along those lines.

I definitely know that exercising for me is more a mental barrier than anything else. I have a lot of self belief and self confidence in many areas of my life but when it comes to maintaining a consistent exercise regime and taking the necessary steps, I somehow always stop in the middle somewhere and blame it on that I have never been an exercise person so that will just isn't instilled in me. SO many excuses!

I do see myself as someone who manifests her goals and dreams very confidently. I don't mean this in a bragging or condescending way but when I truly want to achieve something or gain something, I always think about it in a very positive way, as if it has already happen. There is never a shadow of doubt or negativity and before I know it life has moved and/or rearranged itself so what I have been asking for can happen. Now that doesn't mean that it happens the EXACT way I thought or wanted, no, it never does. But it happens and manifests itself in the way it is supposed to and I always realise afterwards how that was supposed to happen that way in the first place.

As a project manager (as my husband likes to call me), I have my long term goals for each year/years and my short term ones. The short term goals always leads the way to the long term goals but I am always super flexible about how I will get there, and if I notice through out the way that the path I am embarking on is actually not what I intended it to be, I change and allow myself to feel what it is I really want.

One of the toughest lessons for me that I have had to learn during the past few years is to Loosen the grip.

Anything that I have wanted and held on to too tight, I have held on to it for all the wrong reasons and as such not been able to manifest it. This is something that I have had to learn the hard way and it took me a very long time to have the instinct to realise the true meaning of loosening the grip.

My lovely and beautiful friend Susie who'm I admire and look up to a lot for her strength called me once out of the blue when I was going through a career crisis (lets call it that) and I think she could hear the desperation in my voice. Before I knew it she had sent me this book by Rebecca Campbell 'Light is the new black', I remember reading it on a plane (pregnancy brain - cannot remember where I was flying to or from) and when I came to the chapter on loosening the grip, it almost felt like that chapter was written for me. Every single word just spoke to me and somehow it was so clear that all along I had gone about things the wrong way.

It still took me a while to fully understand the meaning and its interpretation into my life but once it hit home properly, things started to change, I start to change and my view on life and what I wanted changed.

I no longer feel the need to hold on to something with such a tight grip and feeling a sense of desperation or thinking if I have x I will feel so and so, or if y happens I will finally achieve this or that. Because it is not about that.

I am already all those things, and so are you. It is about allowing yourself to fully step into who you really are and what your heart really desires. Without feeling the need to hold on too tight or thinking you have to do or be something to fulfil someone else's perception of you.

If you pay close attention to the people who manifest their dreams and goals, they probably all have something in common. They walk boldly towards the direction of their dreams, knowing and believing it is already there. They already are!

If I compare this to my mental barriers in regards to maintaining a consistent exercise regime, it is quite easy to see that I am not manifesting that fully because I lack the confidence and belief that I already am or already have it. I see myself as being half there or whatever it may be.

I have set certain career and personal goals for myself, which have all been achieved but never in the way I would have ever imagined it to. Does that make me sad or proud of myself? I do feel very proud because even though some parts have been extremely challenging, I have managed to move myself from A to B with belief and clear actions. I have raised the bar for myself and allowed myself to be clear on my intentions and what it is that I want for my life without feeling a sense of guilt or shame, or that the closest people to me wouldn't understand.

There is still a long way to go and I have so much more to achieve, but I know in my heart that I am finally on the right path. Regardless of how the road will look in a months time, six months time or even a year. It will be exactly what I will need.

Becoming a mother and starting a family was never one of my aspirations as a young girl. I never thought or put my happiness in the sole purpose of starting a family and becoming a mother. For me it has been more about allowing myself to be me, do me and become more clear about myself and my life before embarking on that journey.

However, now ready to take on that journey, I know with such confidence that the other part of my power as the woman I am, will truly shine and develop this coming year as I will meet our baby daughter and be her mother. We already have our family and it gives me that bit of extra strength and power to be the best version of myself. But to also allow myself to maybe be a lesser version of myself on other days. It is all okay!

For this coming year, my intentions are to confidently embrace and grow into the new life that has already started for us and will continue to manifest itself. To always be close to my husband and prioritise our relationship and marriage because we are essentially a team and the foundation for our family. To always listen to him, show him encouragement and the space to grow and be himself but also the opportunity for us to grow individually and as a couple. Most importantly, to remember that in the most challenging times ''this too shall pass''. Tough times aren't here to break us, but to grow us stronger. This is something we have lived by since we met and always supported one another in everything life has thrown our way.

To continue feeling confident and true to myself and my intentions in regards to going back to work after maternity leave. I look at this with a warm heart and positivity because it will manifest itself in the way it is supposed to for me and my family. I don't see barriers in terms of combining both, because I am so flexible in my approach. As I am looking to spend my time with my daughter and working, I know whatever it will be, will allow me to do so while also allow for me to keep earning more money.

To grow this blog and my social channels. I love the community that exists for new mums and existing mums on social media. I am looking forward to getting to know more empowering women but also maintaining and nurturing my existing friendships.

Work on my mental barriers when it comes to exercising and maintaining a healthy lifestyle because it is no longer just about me. My daughter shouldn't be my sole purpose for changing this, but she definitely is one of the drivers behind me wanting to change my perception and mindset in regards to being a healthy version of myself.

Go on holiday with my family. The thought of seeing little baby P enjoying playing around in a tiny pool warms my heart and I can't wait for her to experience that.

Move to a house with more room and space for our family, where my husband can have his shed/workshop and I can have a bigger kitchen, garden and just a new place for us to settle down in for the next few years ahead.

This is definitely the year of family and finding our new 'normal', to keep elevating myself and confidently ask for what my heart desires and know I am worthy of it.

What are your intentions for this year?


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Hello you!

It has nearly been one month since I wrote here last and I wish I could say it is because I have been so extremely busy and occupied but that would be lying. I have had some time off from work during the holiday period and been trying my best to wind down and relax, recharge my batteries and prepare myself for what's to come next.

I am now 26 weeks pregnant and will enter the third trimester in a couple of weeks time! It really feels like time is flying by and before I know it, she will either be here with us or I will be counting down the long last days until she makes her entrance.

At the moment I am feeling okay, the nausea and sickness has stayed away for the most part but the tiredness and exhaustion is still very much there. Yesterday my body was so exhausted and I kept falling asleep as soon as i laid down, I think I had about 3 naps in the middle of the day. Today I have more energy and going to go for my first 'pregnancy' swim in a little while!

I am still suffering with carpal tunnel syndrome, which is a pain and another reason as to why I haven't been updating my blog. I spend so much time in front of screen at work so when I am home I try to rest my wrists as much as I can. At the moment it feels like I am having pins and needles in my fingers while typing. It is very frustrating and I hope it doesn't stay through out the pregnancy, or if it does, that it leaves once she is here!

Her little kicks and movements are much more frequent now, I cannot even begin to explain how amazing it feels, especially when I wake up in the morning and a few minutes after, she starts to wriggle about and move. It is the best feeling ever <3 It still blows my mind that the movements I am feeling is our little daughter! I talk to her daily and play her music, she really likes music because when I press stop she starts kicking haha. I am playing her everything from old Swedish songs to Persian music and pop/rnb. I love those little moments, she makes me laugh so much.

Overall, I would say from week 18 and onwards, I have gradually started to feel better and definitely agree with the fact that the second trimester is so different from the first. I am growing a fair bit week by week and I can certainly feel it. I am going to write about the pregnancy body and body positivity in another post as it is such a huge topic. But given the fact that I am the biggest I have ever been and have a lot more growing to do, I feel very beautiful and proud over what my body has achieved and will achieve within the next three months.

The lows this trimester is definitely the tiredness and the worry. We have our growth scan this month, a private 4D scan to see her face and all other tests that is left for me to take, for example the sugar test (cannot remember the correct term), where I have to drink a very sugary drink to check how my body reacts and if I am at risk for pregnancy diabetes. So far everything has always been perfect but I am still worried before every appointment, even the GP appointments. I suppose it is normal but it is definitely draining on me beforehand.

I do hope that the growth scan will show normal growth. She was growing exactly how she's supposed to during my 24 week check up so fingers crossed it will continue that way.

The mood swings and the emotional rollercoaster is definitely still there. I feel everything so much stronger and find myself quite easily getting in a bad mood. It doesn't take much to push my buttons and I can imagine that it might not be so pleasant for the people around me (sorry J! haha). I wish I could control it, but I can't because in that moment I just feel so strongly that how I am reacting is how I am supposed to be reacting.

The worse is trying to explain why I am feeling the way I am feeling or having to explain why I can't do something/lack the energy to do something. My body just doesn't cope!! I don't have the same energy as I used to and little tasks can become daunting. For example, we are in the process of buying a new bed as we have had our bed for so long and opting for a super kingsize bed now that our family is growing. Just going to look for bed linen and bedding by myself in the middle of the crazy sales really stresses me out. Not only do I have to take a pee break every 10 minutes, but to make decisions at the moment is so stressful. I am super indecisive and keep going back and forth constantly to the point where it drives my poor husband a bit crazy. But I can't help it. I would normally not mind doing something like choosing bed linen and bedding by myself, but at the moment, I want him there to go through the decision process with me in case I choose wrong etc. Not that he would mind in the slightest but I just really want all those decisions to be made with both of us present. It is almost like I get angry because he is at work and I am not.. Totally crazy but hey, I am preggers!

I am also in planning mode, I am trying to plan the next three months, the time after the baby is born and the summer. My brain is on 120 all of the time and I sometimes expect my husband to be the same and when he looks at me like I have lost it or tells me to relax, it makes me react. But then afterwards I totally understand him because I would normally not be like this, in such a rush to figure everything out or have our whole year planned within one week. It is almost like I am trying to 'control' any apparent situation now so when P is here, everything is sorted and the only thing we need to deal with are those uncontrollable situations but life doesn't work like that.

Please tell me I am not the only one? Do you have a similar story to share? I love to hear crazy pregnancy stories of how women have reacted over something that the husband or partner just totally doesn't understand. In the moment it is not fun but afterwards when I have calmed myself down, we can laugh at it. 

I know pregnancy does crazy things to you, and I suppose for me it has given me a never ending PMS and a total need to plan and execute. 

Anyways, our NCT/Antenatal classes are coming up in little over 1,5 months and I will be returning to pregnancy yoga soon. I have had a break over the holiday period and I can really feel how my body needs to stretch. For the next three months of the pregnancy I will be doing yoga once a week as usual and go swimming 2-3 times a week. Even if I go swimming once a week I will be happy. I have heard so many women loving swimming when pregnant so I hope I feel the same. I guess I will know after today!

I am looking into hypnobirthing classes as well, I have read some books on hypnobirthing and it is a method I would really like to try during the labour. I will write more about my thoughts on hypnobirthing later.

I have to pack my bag and head to the gym now for my first swim. But check in later, as another post will be up discussing my goals and intentions for this year!


Excuse the bad quality photos. I have bought a new canon camera and will upload much nicer photos moving forward!

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