15

Nina has decided to be my girlfriend. We have gone through a lot in the open. In front of others. Wrote our bill. Cuts on the back. Anger. Love.

Jealousy. First class instruments. She managed, managed to turn on the recorder and off. Together with me.

I have hated her about M. I have hated her about what she made me go through. Who she picked instead of me. Who she gave attention when I needed it.

I bursted out about M about how wrong she is to me. It's like I refuse to talk more about that person, she's the bitch I don't want to talk to.

She can offer me to be her girlfriend, but be the contrary 100% contrary at the same time. She's not my friend in real life, but in feelings life she tries to be a close friend to me, like a girlfriend, not just a normal friend, but a friend with benefits.

She thinks she can freeze me out, and take all the best attention, most skinnying effects, and leave me there. And pretends that what she offers me inside is what I need.

I want our friendship to be based on the right thing, so when she acts with freezing me out - that's not a friendly thing to do.

So I don't want to accept her inner acts, or offers because they're so far away from the truth, it can never come true. And it will always be a problem.

And she's not invited. It's not balanced, and she's done wrong things to me, made me choke myself to damage me on purpose, and frozen me out, and taken attention when it was my turn to get the attention from my girlfriend.

She's been making a hell for me, and she don't want to stay true to the inner, she propably wants the inner to do what the outer her is doing.

And that is being neglective, and freezing me out. She is not in contact, she is not a positive character, she is a selfish and egocentric character that takes the attention from me.

She's not supposed to owe me attention that she tries to give as of taking my girlfriend, my space, my thinning. She is not supposed to be someone to Nina.

She's not supposed to have gained all the bettering - that she has to give context to me about. That's how I see it anyway. That it's the role she is taking that is giving her benefits, and the role she is given of Nina who doesn't know how it influences me.

I am so tired of the problems and pain and wrong evolution I am gaining of the balance that is not balanced. They gave me unbalanced on purpose. And takes balanced in the doorway while they hurt me.


17. may in Oslo is delayed. And we're standing up on the outside of a stone house, on a stone hedge, me and a bunch of people. There's a woman with a baby there, she comes further ahead to the edge of the hedge and suddenly she lost her balance and managed to let go of her baby to me, before falling off the edge straight ahead.

She made a scream sound when she fell and I was so afraid of the edge that I froze with the baby behind me, pushing the baby further back from the edge, and just laying there and staying safe from the edge.

I don't know how far down from the edge it was, but I was terrified. Kine P. came out and saw me laying there pushing the baby backwards with my body. I don't know what happened to her, or how sever it was.

Prince William was going with me towards the 17. May parade start, where people were waiting for him to be there. He realized we were too far behind, and he speeds up and leaves me behind to get there in time. I am fine with it, I hoped we could be there in time. I am trying to get there in time. I were gonna go with Prince William and Kate in the parade.

I've seen Prince William as an old bad ghost on a picture, and the UFO that were placed in my bedroom were Prince Williams Character feeling, I recognised the UFO as William. That loudest thing possible.

That loudest UFO that made my next reincarnation worse hearing. Yes I found my next new mother and father. Yes I know who they are. And yes it is woven that way about the information I am getting. They are involved that I am gonna leave my body, to their daughters body, and I am gonna be a girl.

I have a new product in mind, a TV with Speakers mounted in one large glass that is like a furniture. One piece of glass with TV and stereos in it. I really want it. It's so right. I wonder if I could get in contact with a TV manufacturer that could make me my idea.

And limited edition, only one of these in the whole wide world. But they would propably be so popular that the manufacturer would like to sell them. Voila.

I just got myself a TV sale deal. And earns what, millions? I am gonna find my future parents and buy them gifts and make them happy. Send out the information I want to have in my next life, and make sure that they get the improvements I need to have around me. Because I don't wanna go to school.

I just wanna be famous, flawless, happy, sucsessfull in life and love, and know about triggering, and that triggering happens when you really love someone, and wait for the real love, the real crush to happen and proceed with.

It's not even guaranteed that you get the crush, who makes you miss them. But I should know about it. It should be famous to me. Triggering. A big thing about triggering.

The triggers to the nerves. The triggers that makes me feel horny. It should be known. The explosions that happens when you really love the person. The fantasy you learn of. The rose that arouses you.

The romance that finally means something. The fuck that really has a foreplay about how much you want it. Not just a simply turned on. But the actual expression of I love you. I just want to know.

There's a female that has a dress that shows her bare ass. She doesn't know about it. I am standing in a toilet and I've shit my pants. I am trying to clean my pants and tries to dump my shit from inside the pants into the toilet. I am on my way to join Roy Terje and Kine to go somewhere. Roy Terje, Tott, was my springboard diving coach. Kine is his wife, or girlfriend. God knows if they have married or not. Kine was a diver as well, and they partnered up many years ago.

I got a crystal stone from someone I thought it was a stone, so I put it in my mouth because I thought it was a stone. It fitted so well to my mouth, the feeling of it was fitting. Suddenly I see that it is not really a stone, it is a denture.

A old ladys denture. And I wonder if she had used it. If it was used newly, because I just had it in my mouth. And I think about bacterias a lot. I wanted a stone that felt that way, but since it was a denture I could not want to keep it. It wasn't mine. God knows who owned it.

Stella Antoniette

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