It´s has been two years since I returned from London and I felt like a big part of me was missing when I came back. I felt a bit down and it really stayed with me for a few months. This wasn't like a depression but it reminded me a bit of the feelings that I had during my minor depression about five years back. But the more time went by the more I felt like myself. I finally got my life cleaned up and got on the right track for me until last fall. Last fall I wasn't allowed to continue at my work(due to that I had to have a permanent position to continue.) and it hit me harder then I thought. I feel like am struggeling with moving forward and work towards my dreams and goals. And I am not completely sure what I should do about it.
During these two years I feel like I finally found my style which is great. I feel that I can mix styles and looks to reflect my mood and feelings and at the same time I feel that I have room for improvement and evolvement. When I lived in London I experimented a lot with different looks and styles, and that was great because I found parts of me that was hidden before. Living in London helped me grow a lot and helped me found out who I want to become.
Since I left London my plans for my education and career have gone back and forth, my original plan was to save up money to continue to study in London at LCF and get a bachelor degree there, but I had a bit of a problem with saving up. I had really become a shopaholic since I moved to London. Another thing I has changed my plans are Brexit. Due to Brexit the education that I want is probably going to cost a lot more( original price for the tuition is £9000 per year and you also have to consider rent, food and other supplies) and might harder to stay in London after I end my studies.
My plan B was to apply to fashion schools in the US. But thanks to Donald Trump that is no longer an option for me. I don't want to live in a country where he rules. Plan C have been a few different alternativs, Internships, Schools in Finland and for now it might be a fashion school in Germany.