So God started talking to me massively this morning, so practically.
I love that He wants to talk to us through the simple, everyday things.
If you don’t get that, I encourage you to look for Him in them - He is ever present so seek and you shall find all the fun snippets of doing life with and being in relationship with the creator of the whole universe. How freaking amazing and beautiful is that?!
Anyway, as some of you may not know I have recently moved into a beautiful apartment with a wonderful girl from my Church. She’s so good to my soul. She loves late night chats, random late night rearranging the house times, good coffee, pancakes, pretty flowers, candles and all my other favourite things, so the decision to live together so far is going pretty damn sweet.
So the move and decorating has been fun - but then comes the mundane boring bits, for example - sorting out the utility bills. Seriously who has time to sit on hold for ages waiting for someone to tell you how much money they want to take off you every month? My procrastination level increased massively every time I thought of setting them up.
This morning I had to ring up a utility company - this was due to receiving numerous letters from them saying we have an over due bill, even though they are not our supplier!
I gave them a call and explained my situation, saying I had moved to another supplier at the beginning of September and was no longer using their services, but that it may have been from previous tenants.
I apologised for the confusion and explained I had my card ready and was happy to pay the outstanding bill, if we had unknowingly been using their services also.
After much going back and forth the gentleman on the phone informed me that both the bills I had received through the post - the first one and the reminder letter with interest added on for underpayments, were not in fact mine to pay - that they actually belonged to my landlord, as the charges sent out were for the months I was not living in the property. What a treat!
I thanked the gentleman and the phone call ended. I then held the bill in my hand and out came my sassy inner-black-woman voice (we all have one, if you are reading this thinking you don’t, you are definitely lying, or maybe you haven’t discovered her yet - go find her, she’s great!)
I looked at the bill and said “I’m not paying you then, you are not mine to pay” and tossed it over my shoulder.
As I proceeded to get on with my day I suddenly heard God whisper to me, “Naomi, this is the word of God for you and many others today. That is not your bill to pay.”
Stopped dead in my tracks I sat back down to dwell on what I had just heard.
I began thinking about bills. Paying bills is great, obviously you couldn’t live without all the things they provide, however, I think we can all agree - paying bills limits us.
Say you earn £1000 this month and had no bills to pay - hello, that month is your oyster, treat yourself!
Now imagine £500 of that is direct debits, food, petrol etc… You could still have fun and go wild but maybe not as extreme as if you were £500 richer. Make sense? I’m not about to tell you stop paying your bills, please please don’t do that!!
See, today was a reminder that every one of us makes mistakes, we slip up, do stupid things on a daily basis and the enemy is out there, crouching and ready to bill our hearts. To send a bill to the postal address called ‘our life’ for us to pay.
Remember, bills limit us.
The enemy wants so much to limit us, what we can do, where we go, who we impact. So therefore he will send bills such as shame, regret, guilt, fear, loneliness, unworthiness and so on.
Because he knows when we walk carrying those things it effects everything we do. When we do life through the lens of feeling dirty or unwanted it holds us back from living out our true potential and he loves that.
One of my all time favourite quotes says this:
“We can live life in the departure lounge, or we can get on the plane.
Living looking at our potential is nothing compared to living in it.”
The devil wants to keep you in the departure lounge, looking at what you could be, but making you feel like you could never reach it, because of all the wrong things you have done.
But God’s word for you yesterday, today and forevermore is this:
His mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING
His GRACE is sufficient for you
His power is made PERFECT in your WEAKNESS
You are a NEW CREATION
GRACE and PEACE are YOURS
By GRACE you have been SAVED
NOTHING can separate you from the love of God
Sin shall no longer be your master, for you live under GRACE
While you were still sinning Christ died for YOU
Whoever Jesus sets free, is FREE INDEED
ALL have sinned and fallen short, but you are JUSTIFIED by GRACE
JESUS does not remember your sins
“But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
on him, on him.”
[Isaiah 53:5-6 MSG]
That shame isn’t yours.
That regret isn’t yours.
That feeling of unworthiness isn’t yours.
It might be your mistake, but it isn’t your bill to pay - It belongs to the landlord of your heart - God.
Too many of us are holding back because we think we deserve to pay the bill for our mistakes, truth is, we do.
But the incredible thing is - it’s already been paid.
“And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong - on HIM”.
For some of you, reading this today is not enough - you need to physically write down down your bill - then next to it you need to write down what it has cost you.
Maybe it’s held you back in something.
Maybe its stopped you entering that relationship because you think you aren’t worthy of that love.
Maybe it’s made you turn down an opportunity because you don’t think you are good enough for it.
Next you need to take a big bold marker pen and write all over it, THIS IS NOT MY BILL TO PAY.
See when I ignored the first bill this company sent me, do you know what they did? I’d love to say they backed off and left me alone, but I would be lying. They sent me a payment reminder and this time added more money on to it.
The devil see’s you today taking a stand against the bills he is sending you, but it won’t stop him giving it another go. He will wait till you’re at at your peak to send another reminder letting you know you still haven’t paid - and worse still, he will add that little bit more this time, making you feel ashamed that you didn’t deal with it in the first place.
The Bible tells us that daily we are in a fight.
Ephesians 6:12 NIV:
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
“So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.”
It’s a daily decision, a daily mindset, a daily fight, a daily walk, a daily confession.
This morning I got to walk downstairs and hand over the bill to my landlord and walk away free, knowing that it is his to deal with.
So find your sassy inner black woman and set her free today.
That is not your bill to pay.
Hand it over to the lover of your soul and the creator of your destiny, He’s wild for you.