My reality may not be yours but for me when it truly knocked on my door I was at point in my life things were beginning to fall in place for me so I thought I had all these plans lol someone once told me God has plan already destined for me but He knows His daughter hard-headed and wants to continue to do it my way Me being the person that I am I continue in my will despite past trials and tribulations I know better do you hear me very smart intelligent driven very outspoken but I rather live life like there was no plan which it wasn't bcuz I'm living my plan a lot of hurt self defeating behaviors habits and hurting the ones that depended on me the most still being selfish and inconsiderate of those that truly had my best interest at heart but it's all about ME that eventually had me to the point of feeling hopeless unworthy broken used feeling like giving up but I been here before light bulb everything has been taken from me that at least had at point to where I cared enough about something to have to at least keep pressing but you know that couldn't even make me change my plan I thought it would but look where my thinking has brought me so far Reality Knocked now I am alone everyone that said they cared and loved me were no where to be found wow in my darkest hour even the main ones I hurt were there but I still felt empty couldn't nobody fathom what I was feeling or going through but the only with the plan He say I got you all by yourself you place everything before Me once again I bring you out and when things are good you forget about Me How can you forget about the One that never leaves your side that's same forever more never changes but here we are again and you need me once again the thoughts that cross mind and a close person had just told me Toya when God has anointing and plan for your life and He wants Your attention He will get it one way or another never would have thought this way though anything but this He knows what I can can't bear but He knows me before I was formed and ever hair on my head He knew and know what I'm going to do before I even do it deep within me I continue to try to fight a losing battle every time I can't win alone it's so bigger than me but there He was waiting for me to truly surrender allow His will to be done not mine if that meant breaking me down so that He can build me back up it is wat is In the Darkest Hour and Reality Knocked me in the face that it's time to stop playing these games and fall in His plan for my life bcuz I continue in the wilderness till I get the lesson and it's not fair I'm not saying that in His plan will always be happiness all the time and the pain that comes with each level of maturity ain't gonna hurt but He promises all things will work together for the good of the ones that love Him but I have to truly surrender and trust Him no matter what In my Darkest Hour He came His grace and mercy unmerited favor He didn't forsake me He never left so with that being said at the end of the day our kids family friends husband wife or anything cannot be put on pedestal more than God and everything that we do we will give account for it I wrote this because He's Reality to me He discipline the ones He love I know He's able worthy mighty powerful love joy peace patience happiness kind and the same today tomorrow and forever more not man that He should lie He died so we may live a life that is pleasing to Him He's the ultimate judge If You was or is in your Darkest Hour and Reality Knocked you feel as though I did you are not alone He waiting for you He there never left it's within you just like me Greater is He that is within ME We just gotta trust Him seek His face let Him do His thing ours isn't working do we need anymore proof it's a day to day process we still may fall short but we won't stay there stuck we keep pressing toward that mark no matter what anyone says thinks or feels about us know that it's a plan and purpose for everything we go through mind and heart has to be alert because it's bigger than all us Have favored dau

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