I wake up by the tapping sound softly hitting my window along with a breeze tickling the palm trees outside. It is a rainy day. A rainy day that keeps the birds hidden under the big leaves, hugging each other for safety. I turn around in my bed, the blanket is wrapped around me hugging every part of my body, but it is cold. Has my bed always been this big? Or rather, has my bed always felt this big? It hits me, today is one of those days, one of those days where my mind is slowly being dominated by the colour of the sky. Gray. Like a shadow that slowly finds its way over the city as the rain starts to fall. Will it rain? Again...? I turn back around facing the wall, what time is it? 3 am, I shouldn't be awake now. I close my eyes while rubbing my toes together trying my best to make them warm again. I think to myself that I am so sure my bed hasn't always felt this big, or cold... I wonder why as my thoughts turn into dreams.
When do I wake up? Not until its over. Not until time heals my wounds.
This is just a little text I wrote when trying to explain to someone what anxiety is. I imagine the text above is what is going on in your mind, as you put on a face get ready for the day. No one can see, no one will know.
You ARE not anxious, you are FEELING anxious. It is not what you are, its what you feel. And as we all know, feelings comes and goes, just like the cloud, it will pass.
Yes I am a psychology student, yes I know what anxiety is, yes I know how to work against anxiety, but yes I am human and NO I can't stop it from happening.
Life is tough, but so are we.