Sometimes I wake up, ready to face another day of recovery and good spirit, but simply feel like shit and like it's impossible to eat. My worst days are when my husband is working late and I have a lot to do. I can wake up but not have breakfast until 1PM and then all of a sudden it's 8PM, my husband comes home and I just haven't eaten all day. I always tell myself that I WANT to eat and WANT to gain weight, because I know that's what I really want. But on bad days, when the disease in me still has a voice, I just unconsciously don't want to take another fight or have another meal so I just don't.
To all of you who wonder what happens when I don't eat and if it's really that bad to go without eating: yes it is. On the days when I'm not strong enough to struggle with every meal I'm angry, restless, irritated, weak, dizzy and sad. My brain goes into this weird state where I just shut everything off and feel bad.
I wanted to share this less happy post with you since I want to be as honest as possible. Even if my mindset is right and I'm set on gaining weight and having healthy eating habits it's not always as easy as I make it seem. But my best advice on what to do when you don't feel like eating is to buy your favorite food, put on your feel good song, call someone you like (if you're alone), put on sweat pants and just BREATHE. <3