First of all, thank you for all your messages and love I received after I posted a mystory on Instagram about struggling with my eating disorder again. You guys are amazing and every single message makes me smile! Thank you. <3
I’ve gotten lots of questions and requests to write about the subject and share/give advice. The thing is that right now I want to be honest by saying that I simply feel too weak to share uplifting posts about this. I do keep a positive attitude throughout the worse periods of my eating disorder but the difference is that right now 50% of me says ”let’s lose weight” and ”skip that meal” while the other half says ”let’s stay healthy & strong” and ”eat all meals & be happy” and the struggle of being so caught in the middle of these two is really tough on me and takes away all my energy. Every meal I’m able to finish is a win for me but at the same time every meal I skip is a win for my illness. Which sucks.
I think that a big trigger for me is the weight loss after pregnancy. You lose the weight you put on during pregnancy, but for me it’s always been hard to see the numbers on the scale get smaller and be still be able to stop at a healthy weight and number. And this time around I really need to stay healthy and at a healthy weight because now I need energy, love and a happy body more than ever.
So I kind of wanted to say hi, I appreciate all of you guys & all your support, and right now I’m not ready to share that much of the situation because I want to give myself time and space to get my mind in a better place first.
Big love. <3