Healthier diet.

Hei kaikki!

I've been gone for a while but it seems I might have time to blog now. I just graduated (yay!) and I have plenty of time now that I'm back home before I head back to Finland (yay again!).

So, I've been getting a bad migraine that comes and goes for about a week and a half now and I was getting pretty concerned. I got my blood drawn yesterday and I was just told I have typhoid fever. I haven't been feeling hungry lately and that's highly unusual for me and even though I don't have a fever, I have every other symptom.

Another update is that, I decided to go vegan. Not 100%, because I don't eat a lot of things but I'm slowly changing my diet to be meat-free. I'm kind of a vegetarian at the moment (getting rid of cheese and eggs seems to be the one of the hardest sacrifices I have to do in my life). Regardless of that, my diet is pretty trashy since I eat A LOT of junk food. And so, I decided to make this for breakfast today and hopefully my stomach appreciates it. I haven't eaten this many seeds in like... ever. Hopefully this is a good transition for me and it keeps me healthier.

That's all for now.

Heippa! :)



change is good

I’m doing some thinking and I’d like to share some with you.
Ever wondered if we really are capable of change? Do we just become better at who we are or do we really turn into someone else? If you’ve done people wrong, do you become who you really are by never intentionally doing it again or do we change the path we previously decided to follow?
If I’m confusing you, good, cause I’m confusing myself a little as well but that’s why I write, to figure out my thoughts. I actually have tons of files on my computer and notes on my phone confirming this. I write. Every single time I want to figure something out I write out the first ideas I have about it and develop them as I go along. I write my feelings and how to control my emotions. I’m sharing this with you and it may seem like I’m deviating from my main thought but i’m not, it’s because this is how I’ve changed, evolved.
I have decided not to act on my emotions but to control them and make them smaller until logic and feelings meet half way and I can make better choices. So I can have better thoughts.

So, is this me changing? Or am I just improving? Sometimes, I think of it as fixing bugs like the apps do, we're fixing our mistakes and our bad habits (mechanisms and coping skills) to get to a better version of ourselves. I have gone through a lot, most of it was change. My biggest problem was that I refused to accept that the world will keep spinning no matter how stuck I am somewhere mentally. I need to move with everything and everyone around me and I can't stay where I am, I need to move forward and let life do its job, to set everything into place and flow as it should.

I wonder how many people have realized all this and still refused to acknowledge there was something to modify, a bug to fix. Or how many think other people will fix them. One thing is clear for me, no one can help you if you don't want to help yourself.

Sometimes when someone thinks you should change, it's not necessarily a bad thing, it means you should improve and ask yourself if you're really pleased with the person you are, the rest is up to your own interpretation.

I've changed, I've grown, I've improved, I've suffered and I've learned. All through pain.

How about you?

Veracruz, Mexico 2019.





2019 has begun and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. This year I feel different, I feel older but wiser, more mature but content. I decided to stay home for a bit and take the remaining 3 classes from my undergraduate degree online. I feel a lot happier spending time with my family and this year seems to feel a lot different than last year. I feel more relaxed and connected to my loved ones here, I feel more comfortable and willing to new things and new alternatives. I was going to Finland for three more months this semester but decided not to, in order to save money for the wedding of a very special friend this coming August in Nigeria. I'm looking forward to visiting a new country and a new culture I've heard so much about.

I'm also looking forward to graduating and seeing what comes next for me, deciding whether to pursue my master's degree or a doctorate's degree in Psychology. I will be going back to Finland this summer and staying there for a while to keep on learning the language and go to graduate school in Finnish. 2019 is going to be a good year.

I'm gonna leave you with some highlights from the end of 2018 and what I've been up to so far this 2019.

Played golf with my friends and it was a lot more fun than I thought.

Gulf of Mexico. December, 2018.

Christmas 2018.

I love the ocean as much as I respect it.

For the last 4 years, I've felt like a tourist in my own hometown.

Until next time :)