It is an ocean...

‘Its heavy’ is the only way she can describe it. She carries it around everywhere she goes. It has always loomed over her, casting a shadow on her life. She is a thin thread. A thread too thin and too fragile to hold something so heavy. She remembers the storm, and how it used to be. The mass of emotion and the fear of the unknown. It’s strange, too strange yet familiar and hard to define.

Though the tiredness begun a while ago, it remains like a veil on her skin. The brightness inside was swallowed by something so dark. But how much darkness can someone take without light? Her mind was a poison that constantly filled her with doubt, while she stood in the sea of sorrow not knowing how to swim. The darkness grew darker and the pain grew sharper. And in this void of helplessness, she wondered if things could ever get better. For this world was lost to her, and she knew of nothing that would bring it back into focus.

Thoughts that are so dominant in her mind were now like shards of glass cutting her insides as she swallows the words she wants to speak, making her forget every feeling of safety she ever had within. She was scared of what her past held and al the memories that can never escape her mind. But no one could see it, this weight that was slowly crushing her. Sometimes she was someone, but that someone was pain and sadness, held within the depths of her soul. All she had become was sadness and in this sadness there was no future, as it flowed through her veins and deadened her mind. It was a poison to her spirit, taking away all her other emotions until it was the only one left.

Her eyes were robbed of their usual warmth and her thoughts have been replaced by a carrousel of nothingness. Her future seemed like an unwalkable road. A journey devoid of hope. Everything she had, has dissolved like it was never there. Held deep within this darkness. she can no longer get a sense of anything important. Her world was grey and cold, and her body left only with weakness and lacking the life it once had. It’s like she was stuck in a dream and struggling to get back to her reality. She was constantly running from something that’s not there, terrified of the sunlight that now feels like ice against her skin. She was drowning in this air, suffocating in the darkness of her feelings and trapped in her own mind. Nothing escapes her mouth when she cries for help because she is sinking. Sinking deeper into a sea filled with her own mistakes. Believing now that the bottom of the ocean would be a better source of oxygen. So she closed her eyes and forgot about the world that ruined her forever.

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Gothic Literature 

Cobwebs that once held intricate beauty now strain to keep their formation. Ominous clouds promise nothing but darkness and damp-smelling air. This cold weather comes to visit her fragile body once again, leaving bumps upon her skin and blue on her pale lips. The potent wind carries the harsh sounds of screams to her ears, which demand to be heard. Voices and violent resonances inhabit her mind and every inch of her being, clawing at her skull, trying to escape. They are bent on her destruction, and she can feel it deep within her soul. The rain starts to fall like an ocean thrown from the sky, and rain drops pierce her skin. With heavy-lidded eyes and a slack mouth, she screams.But her screams are silent and her mind unforgiving. Her breath comes short and her icy fingers curl into a fist at her sides, as if to tighten the grip on her sanity. A sudden, unexpected surge of agony consumes her and beats at her brittle bones, just like the waves that relentlessly toss themselves against the ragged rocks below. She couldn’t breathe. It felt as if someone was choking her. The hands of this thing grasp at her throat, leaving her without oxygen. A cry for help forces itself up her throat and scratches at the air. As her voice enters the silence that was like poison to her, she could breathe again. But the figure looms over her body, wanting more. It stares into her eyes and she gazes back.She feels a soul-shattering chill as she remembers the images reflected in its eyes. She stares into the dark void of memories within the windows of this monster. Suddenly, darkness surrounds her and the moon no longer pours its light on the skeletal frame she calls a body. Tension grows in her limbs and her mind replays vivid hallucinations of reality. The sound of a voice, so familiar, prevails over rational thought. Desperately wanting to escape, she runs. She runs as if there were a hurricane inside her. But she can’t outrun this monster. She comes to a wall and suddenly she is trapped– hyperventilating and trying to avoid making a sound. She claws at the enclosing walls, praying for a way out. She can’t think; her mind betrays her. Fear flows out of her every pore and desperate cries escape her mouth as it gets closer. This thing. This monster.The demon of her life. It was bent on her destruction. The air began to chill and it bites into her skin. The demonic voices she wanted to interpret as lies turned into a crackling white noise that made her body cringe. She could no longer formulate any thoughts. Suddenly, silence. Time was eroding and her gaze was robbed of emotion. Sharp silver met her smooth skin. As she is pushed into the cold, hard wall, pain sheets through her body as she absorbs the trauma and holds in the hurt. She presses her palm against the open wound as the blood seeps through her fingers. This pain seems oddly familiar, and oddly comforting. She had been here before. In this place. With this voice. With this monster. Choking on the memories, she tries to swallow the emotion that she is spitting, trying to ignore the pain, she struggles through closed eyes. The only movement is the trembling of her own body. She is disconnected from everything but the ever-present drumming of her heart.

• • • • • • •

Staring at stained sheets and the bloody knife on the floor, she traces her previous scars with the gentlest touch. She moves her fingers around the open wounds that stand, prominent in her view. She can still feel her life being dipped in that agony of poison. Against her ghostly skin, purple welts were scattered across her limbs, and bruises stained her body. She wanted to free the tormented soul within her, but it was locked - locked in a cage deep inside her own being. Feeling the weight of her own pain and sorrow, she bitterly prays the demon will never, ever come again.



Is it good, bad, or just a fad?

Whether you are trying to stay away from sugary drinks or aiming to flush out the toxins hiding in your body, this refreshing drink will not only do that, but also satisfy your taste buds! Detox water is one of the latest diet crazes, and appears to be more than just a fad. It is an effective way to protect and improve our overall health and may even help the body to resolve long-term health problems. When done right, a good detox will have longstanding benefits.

Some benefitsof detoxing your body:
1) Boosts energy
While you’re detoxing, you’re stopping the influx of the toxins into your body. By cutting out sugar, caffeine, fats and replacing them with fresh fruit that produces natural energy. The natural energy is slow releasing and won’t result in a ‘sugar crash’.

2) Strengthens immune system
When detoxing, your organs return to function the way they should. This helps your body to absorb nutrients and vitamins better and gives your immune system a boost. Continuing with this detox programme will help you maintain a healthy immune system.

3) Improved Skin
With your skin being the largest organ of the human body, it makes sense to look after it like you would anything else. One way to do this is through detoxing with waters. While detoxing, your skin will begin to clear up and become smoother. It can also help reduce acne, by releasing the toxins in your body that cause your skin to develop this condition. It may worsen before it gets better however, this is part of the detoxifying process.

4) Promotes healthy change
We all know how hard it is to get out of an ongoing habit, but detox water is one way to start chiseling away at that bad routine, and to start creating your ‘new ways’. People who find themselves in a continuous cycle of needing sugar, caffeine, or foods high in trans or saturated fats, can use different methods of detox waters to help diminish these yearnings for their unhealthy behaviour. If you decide to cleans the body, you should also be replacing these bad foods with healthier options. By sticking to this plan, you can eventually retrain yourself to become a newer,healthier version of you!

5) Improved sense of well-being
Most importantly, when you detox, you feel good. And when you feel good,everything can be seen under a brighter light. Some people tend to use these detoxes for weight loss or a diet plan, but there is no reason why you can’t detox, just to feel better. When you stride the right path for well-being, all areas of your life are improved!

Make your own Detox Drinks! ☺

Here are some of the detox drinks I have made:

Apple and cinnamon!
This water, not only has no calories, but its great for slimming down and ridding your body of harmful toxins and help to boost your metabolism. The cinnamon sticks can be reused multiple times and are still full of flavour! Slice up the desired amount of apple, add a cinnamon stick, and leave to infuse for a few hours. - Tastes best chilled (You can add more cinnamon or apple if you prefer a stronger taste).

Lemon Juice and Ginger!
Ginger has been used as a herbal medicine for thousands of years. It can act as a natural pain reliever as well as being a natural remedy for calming. For this recipe you will need the juice of half a lemon and a few inches of fresh ginger (which you can either grate into your water or put in whole). Drinking ginger can also help your body to fight allergies

Lemon, Cucumber and Mint!
This recipe is a great way to stay hydrated with a refreshing touch! Each of these ingredients has its own benefits:
Lemon juice helps to cleanse and alkalize the body and also aids in digestion and boosts your immune system.
Mint adds a touch of refreshing sweetness without the sugar! it also helps to settle and relax a cramping stomach.
Cucumber contains anti-inflammatory properties and contains the amino acid 'citrulline', which has been proven to help filter the liver and kidneys and remove ammonia from our bodies (Amount of ingredients depends on your palate).

Strawberry and Cucumber!
One of my favorites! this water has one of the most refreshing and summery tastes!
Strawberries are good for your skin and have great antioxidant powers as well as containing large amounts of vitamins A, C and E. they are rich in iron and folic acid and care for your heart ♥. They also contain soluble fiber, which means that they help immensely in the absorption of carbohydrates and help to keep your sugar sugar levels balanced. As well as drinking the water, cucumber helps you to stay hydrated and clears our toxins from your body.

A few more detox water ideas:
- chia seeds
- Orange, mint and coconut
-mango and lime
-mixed fruits
-blueberry and orange
-strawberry and cinnamon
-strawberry and kiwi fruit
-You can also sub water for coconut water if you prefer
You can be as creative as you like and there really is no limit when it comes to your creative mind! Be sure to keep organic and natural and you will be on your way to a healthier you!
Get detoxing! ☺



Imagine This 

I believe there is a lot to learn from this story, which tells of an experience of bullying and the effect it has on the main character's mental health. Its purpose was to show the true impacts that bullying has on some teens and how much it can impact them and their lifestyle. Enjoy :)

Imagine this...
You have never had an easy childhood and your house never felt like home. Every day and night, violent arguments break loose in that house and it felt so unsafe. You lock yourself in your room to hide away. Imagine feeling so afraid that your body trembles and your chest tightens. So scared that your vision blurs and you feel dizzy. There is no way out and nowhere to go. You have no choice but to come back to this place you call home, but you feel so alone.

Imagine walking into a place called school, but you know it as hell. People stare and laugh in your face. You think you’re in a nightmare, but you’re trying hard to hold onto reality. You don’t know why everyone hates you, but maybe you should hate yourself too. Thoughts spin and race through your mind and you’re all alone in your head. You sit by yourself, looking at everyone, just watching. Observing their bodies dressed in smiles and laughter, and the sparkle in their eyes, longing to be like them. But you’re devoid of beauty.

You close your eyes and watch the patterns and colours streaming on the back of your eyelids and you allow yourself time to think. You think about all the names as you clench your fists.Worthless. Ugly. Fat. Freak. You press your eyes closed harder. Attention seeker.Waste. Hideous. Useless. Your eyes begin to sting. Crazy. Pathetic. Monster.Fake. You exhale so hard that you feel like you can’t breathe in again. You feel like you’re in a place so dark, you can’t feel the light.

Imagine that you feel like they have won, like they have taken control of your thoughts. These bullies, they make you feel horrible, and you can’t seem to push it away. You have come to believe all the things you are seeing and hearing around you. You no longer like who you are and you have become everything you despised. Their words have stuck in your head like a tattoo. You’re caught in this rut, in this position of helplessness and isolation, you don’t know what to do, gasping for air, you don’t know how to handle things anymore, and everything is spiraling.

Imagine changing yourself based on the opinion of others. You change the way you dress and the way you do your hair. You change the way you walk and the way you talk, hoping, just wishing that someone might start to like you. Restricting meals, leaning to the toilet and throwing up to be thin, counting calories as a measure of your self-worth,all because of the harsh words of others. You are ruled by numbness, forever wanting to reach peace with your skin. You knew that your secrets were best concealed in silence, so you kept it to yourself, a word was never spoken.

Imagine practicing the rules of perfection, just trying to fit in and trying to be beautiful. Staring into a mirror looking at a stranger staring back, glaring at the failure before you. So just as a mouse sneaks past to avoid the dangers of a trap, you avoid mirrors to escape the disappointment and disgust.

Imagine you’re suffocating in darkness. Taking deep breaths and regretting each one. Being left alone to cry on the floor in what feels like an endless struggle, with no hope of finding answers. Losing sleep because your panic-struck mind won’t let you relax.

Imagine thoughts flooding your mind. Your eyes are heavy and your limbs are weak. In a mind that’s so consumed by demons and destruction. Swallowed by this everlasting, perpetual agony and torment.

Imagine resting your head against the cold pillow as your lips quiver and your eyes flicker, wondering why you’re even here. Why do you bother trying when your good is never good enough? You’relying there sleepless, dreamless and hopeless. Your thoughts fight to become free of worries that overshadow your sound mind. Every day is an uphill battle and it’s always a challenge to get up and face the world. Imagine not knowing who you are anymore. You have lost yourself and you can’t seem to find your way back. You realise how easy it is to fall, and how much easier it is to break into pieces that cut your hands as you try to reassemble yourself.

You’re tired of playing this same game of self-hate. You feel so worthless and you can’t find a place to belong.You now hate yourself so much and believe the whole world hates you too. You start to feel empty, and that there is no way out from these feelings. Imagine feeling completely alone. Like there is no one by your side. You are isolated and disconnected from everything and everyone. You’ve been rejected, and your life is slowly crumbling and falling to pieces. Imagine not seeing the reason for trying, or for talking, or for breathing. You exist to no one but yourself.Your mind is out of place and you’re constantly questioning life and all its reasons.

You said you can’t do it anymore,you said you’ve had enough. Your eyes now dull and full of tears and your soul turned to ash and full of fears. You’ve tried for so long to fix it and fit in,but figured out that no longer can you fake a grin. This world and these people have destroyed you and dimmed your shine. You’re stuck there wondering why people turn their head and pretend they don’t see. Wishing that someone would realise the effects of their actions. But it’s too late, you now know that youdon’t belong here in this dreadful place. Second thoughts no longer lingeredand you knew it was time to go.

Imagine taking one last glance atthe moonlit sky as you stepped off into broken darkness. You are no longerrestrained by the limits of the mortal world.

Now tell me, can you imaginethis?