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LadyInaa
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LadyInaa
Inaa Foose, 27 year, Vännäs
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27 July 2019 Interview

Moving For Love | Louise

Sometimes loves takes us to amazing places, makes us do incredible things we never expected we'd ever try or do, it might even move mountains to leave with incredible memories and stories for us to tell.

And sometimes, we bump into a special person that lives so far away that the only thing left to do is either leave or leave with them.
Here's a new interview series I will be introducing called "Moving For Love", where we're gonna meet and get to know a few people who actually moved across seas and changed cultures for the person they fell in love with.

Meet the others: Sara , Sian-Louise and Richard

______________________________________________

Tell us a bit about yourself, who is Louise?

Born in the UK but currently live in De Haan (the coq) on the Belgium coast and live 10 mins away from the beach. Love to go to the beach in summer to watch the sunsets as never a two the same.
I am a goth babe and have a huge love for art and antiques and adore to collect gothic, cute and quirky pieces for our home. Mario and I like to paint new pieces or collect artwork from friends and local artists that they create.
Cooking is a big passion , and wish to own a small café one day with a mixture of English and Belgian influenced foods and treats.

How did you guys meet? And how did you guys keep up with communication?

We both met on Facebook on a tattoo page we was both member on. Once a week we would join in with group activities and share pictures of our tattoos and we would be talking and became friends.
After about a year of being friends we started talking outside of the group and realised we had a lot in common and decided to video chat. From there we never went a day without talking to one another.

Have timezones been difficult?

For us that wasn’t hard.
England and Belgium is just one hour apart. When I would finish work Mario would be finishing work an hour before or after me, so we were always able to work out a good time to talk.

How did you guys decide who was gonna move to who?

We decided it would be best for me to move. I was in a job that was making me depressed and wasn’t happy so we and my parents decided a fresh new start would be a good thing for us. I moved May of last year in 2018 and am now coming up to my first year living here in Belgium as a British expat.

What's been the hardest about "the move"? Were there any difficult/hard choices and/or decisions to be made along with it?

For me it’s the whole speaking another language. I am now learning the language and can communicate better with people whereas at first I would smile sweetly and say "sorry I understand" and we would laugh about it.
Grocery stores was another hard one at first. I would look at everything and say "what is this?", "what is that?" and people would walk past and giggle at me.
Also the currency and prices in Belgium of things is hugely different to England. Most things is half the price or more in England so I had to get used to that fast and then learn about Euros (€) at the till as I’m used to the Pound (£).

How have others responded to your relationship?

It's been a bit 50/50 to be honest and quite hard for us. My family and my close friends were cool and love to see me happy. They love Mario and everyone gets on really well, which is lovely. I had a load of “friends” whom I told about us and instead of being happy about our relationship - they turned on us and got nasty.
We were told we are disgusting because of the age difference (20 years) and that it’s really wrong we are from different countries. It got to the point I stopped talking to everyone and they would send threats through other people even after I moved. Nowadays no one has any way to contact us and has moved on and even tho we don’t want to know them we wish them good luck with their future.
Most of the people here in Belgium, pretty much everyone, to be honest, have been so supportive of us and super kind and it’s wonderful. We have had a few rude people but we look past it as they are bitter people and it’s not worth being upset over.

What's something you wish others knew about long distance relationships or moving countries for love?

That it’s all very hard.
You travel to go see your partner for a weekend or two weeks or so and it’s lovely. You spend good time with each other and love every second then you have to leave and that hurts. We have both had lots of tears, we won’t lie.
You come back home from your time with them and are happy for the time you have had and the things you have done but you're sad at the same time because you miss each other. You miss them but you have to go back to work and carry on as normal and it’s like it never happened. You spend whatever time you can talking to each other will be on camera or a text message or even eat dinner together over the camera to feel close.
Your friends are in relationships and they see their partner all the time and they're happy but it makes you feel extremely sad as you can only text and can’t even have a hug. That has to be the hardest to not be able to have a hug. Some will get funny with you if you reply to a text message whilst they're holding hands and making out in front of you (gross lol) and then don’t understand why you are sad. They see you're sad and they don’t understand and say something like "well you were with them a month ago", then brag about having dinner or a date with theirs.
When you move it’s extremely hard. You're happy you're together and will be starting your life together but you constantly miss your family and friends from back home.
When they can visit or you can it’s wonderful and amazing but then it’s over and your sad again.

What's been the best so far about your journey and experience?

We finally get to live together and no more video chatting and texting lol. We’ve grown stronger and have both learnt new things not only about each other but ourselves. You become your own little family and can live properly together and not behind a screen. Yes, you argue at times but who doesn’t? The little things make you happy. Cooking together, doing the weekly shop together, walking up and he has made you a cup of tea.

So what are your guy's future plans?

In the near future to move to a new home and find somewhere a bit bigger for us to live in. For me to find a new job with more hours and to start language school. For us to sort our finances and power work so we can save up and to sort out finances and sort out paperwork and then we can both move back to England becayse our hearts belong to the UK.
We do like Belgium, it’s beautiful scenery and beaches and lovely people around here but it’s not our home. Even for Mario who was born here in beautiful Brugge usually say that it doesn’t feel like home anymore.
Here we have close to nothing besides our pets and few handful of people we like talking to. But in England we have family, we have amazing friends and we have more of a possibility to a better life there. It feels like there is more to do and life is more affordable there and right now it seems like it's the best option for us at the moment.

Any advice or encouraging words for other international couples?

Like every relationship: always be honest with each other and take it slow and don’t rush.
Get to know each other. Both go to each other’s countries and get to meet in person and meet family and friends. Enjoy your time with each other whether it be in person or camera. Most of all plan, plan, plan everything and do your research before moving as there is always snags in the law and it never goes strait forward.
Before moving - save up what you can money wise and realise you can’t take everything with you. But ultimately - do what makes you happy.

  • Interview

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25 February 2019 Interview

Moving For Love | Sara

Sometimes loves takes us to amazing places, makes us do incredible things we never expected we'd ever try or do, it might even move mountains to leave with incredible memories and stories for us to tell.

And sometimes, we bump into a special person that lives so far away that the only thing left to do is either leave or leave with them.
Here's a new interview series I will be introducing called "Moving For Love", where we're gonna meet and get to know a few people who actually moved across seas and changed cultures for the person they fell in love with.

Meet the others: Sian-Louise and Richard

______________________________________________

Tell us a bit about yourself, who is Sara?

I was born in Jakarta (Indonesia) and lived there until I graduated high school, then moved to the United States and lived there for 16 years. I moved back to Indonesia in 2012 to be close to family and also to take a really good job offer in TV production. In 2013 I met Chris (my sambo/fiancé) then moved to Sweden at Christmas 2014.

How did you guys meet? And how did you guys keep up with communication?

We met in a small island near Bali, it's called Gili Trawangan. I was on vacation and Chris was staying there for a couple of months, visiting friends and planning on moving to Australia to find work. He ended up following me back to Jakarta after we spent a week together in Gili. He lived with me in Jakarta for a month then he went to Norway to work his old job, and canceled his Australia plan.

We did the long distance relationship for a little over a year (Oct 2013-Dec 2014). He would come to Indonesia every 2 months. Work in Norway for 8 weeks then visit me in Jakarta for 4 weeks. We try to keep our communications really open, we discussed everything. He made me feel like I could tell him anything even the stupidest thing. We talked through every problem and disagreement we had.

Have timezones been difficult?

Not really. I worked a lot because I worked in advertising, and it was never a fixed schedule. I could work from 5am till midnight on shooting days. Jakarta is 5-6 hours ahead of Sweden (depending on season). We always talked on the phone before I went to bed every night (when he got off work), never missed a night. We texted each other all day, sent pictures, cute memes, cheesy memes about love etc.

How did you guys decide who was gonna move to who?

When we started talking about starting a family and living together, we discussed a lot of pros and cons of having a family. Chris does not have a university degree, it would be really hard for him to find work in Jakarta. I have a Bachelor degree from US, so we thought it would be easier for me to start over and find work in Sweden. Boy, were we wrong.

What's been the hardest about "the move"? Were there any difficult/hard choices and/or decisions to be made along with it?

The hardest about the move was the culture shock. I didn't think Sweden was so closed. I thought, I had lived in western world, it shouldn't be too hard for me to adjust and make new friends. Wrong! It was so hard to meet people, let alone make friends. Being so far away from the family hit hard because I didn't have friends to replace my family, like it did in the US.

I felt unwelcome and definitely felt I was treated differently because of how I look.

How have others responded to your relationship?

Chris' friends never really had non-swedish friends or non-swedish speaking friends, so all the hang outs and gatherings made me feel left out, because they didn't want to speak English. I actually cried coming home from a house party because I felt so excluded. First year was really hard. I couldn't learn Swedish because I had a baby and I had to stay home. Second year was better, I started going to school to learn Swedish full time, made international friends and felt a lot better.

What's something you wish others knew about long distance relationships or moving countries for love?

Research a lot about the country, make some friends online from that country, not through your boyfriend/girlfriend and ask them their perspectives. Lower your expectations, don't aim too high. I was expecting to get a job as soon as I had my baby and could work part time, but even the easiest job (fast food jobs) requires fluent Swedish.

What's been the best so far about your journey and experience?

Sweden broke me so hard, went in depression, went deep in a hole that I didn't think I could get out of, but I did. I made a lot of friends from a lot of countries, learned a lot about other cultures.

So what are your guy's future plans?

Chris is going to get his teaching degree, even though it doesn't mean he can find work outside Sweden, but at least he will have a degree. To me it's important to show our children that education is important. We both have permanent jobs now, which is a huge relief. I still hope we can move somewhere south (still in Sweden), just to escape the long winter here in the north.

Any advice or encouraging words for other international couples?

Communication is key!! He or she should be your person, the one you can tell anything in your mind and not afraid to express your opinion and feelings. You can be yourself around him/her.

Pick your battle, don't argue about every little things.

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23 February 2019 Interview

Moving For Love | Richard

Sometimes loves takes us to amazing places, makes us do incredible things we never expected we'd ever try or do, it might even move mountains to leave with incredible memories and stories for us to tell.

And sometimes, we bump into a special person that lives so far away that the only thing left to do is either leave or leave with them.
Here's a new interview series I will be introducing called "Moving For Love", where we're gonna meet and get to know a few people who actually moved across seas and changed cultures for the person they fell in love with.

Meet the others: Sara , Sian-Louise

___________________________________________


Tell us a bit about yourself, who is Richard?

  • From Basingstoke, England
  • 30 years old
  • Have 3 sisters
  • Loves Liverpool Football Club and tea
  • Passionate about animal rights

How did you guys meet? And how did you guys keep up with communication?

We started talking in April 2013 on Twitter and we met through a common friend. I was already married but the relationship was ending and Linda listened to me when I needed a friend. When we eventually broke up I went to see Linda in Sweden to get away and the rest is history. During the 2 years we were in a long distance relationship we skyped almost every day and used cute little apps to keep us connected.

Have timezones been difficult?

We only had a 1 hour time difference but it could be difficult if I was working late and Linda needed to get up early the next day.

How did you guys decide who was gonna move to who?

This is a tricky one. Feels like no matter how you do it someone loses. The short version is that Linda just really wanted to live in Sweden and that’s where she wanted to have a family so that’s what we did.

What's been the hardest about "the move"? Were there any difficult/hard choices and/or decisions to be made along with it?

Not being able to just go around to my parents for a cup of tea or go for a lad’s night out with my friends. But I also miss England. Just speaking my language and that feeling of really belonging.

How have others responded to your relationship?

We have only had positive responses. The only thing questioned has been why we didn’t move to England since Linda already is fluent in English and I’ve had to pick up a whole new language from scratch.


What's something you wish others knew about long distance relationships or moving countries for love?

That the distance and time spent apart is worth it! It might seem crazy to not go for someone closer but sometimes the person you’re meant to be with isn’t just around the corner, but you can still make it work.

What's been the best so far about your journey and experience?

The easiest question to answer. That would be our daughter Norah. She was born in February 2018 and she is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

So what are your guy's future plans?

Hopefully we can move into a bigger place and make Norah a big sister in the future. My little sister is getting married next year so we have that to look forward to but mainly just enjoying our lives together.

Any advice or encouraging words for other international couples?

First of all – hang in there! It’s horrible when you’re in it but eventually there are no more goodbyes or crying at airports. Make time for each other on Skype for example and talk about your days and so on. Write letters, read the same books, watch the same films or play games to feel connected. Also, look into all the practical stuff that comes with moving early. Figure out what you need to do to move and get started with some things so you feel that the process is moving along. And…love always wins.

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