Something I have been struggling with my entire adult life is not being able to be happy. Or, simply not being happy I guess. I'm sure I'm as able as everyone else but I just can't seem to get there. I basically identify as a person who is never happy. Never carefree. Never nice and outgoing. There is always a cloud in my mind that makes me feel like a cloud in everyone else's life as well.
I can't even imagine what it must be like to live a happy life where you're satisfied with what you're doing, spending time with people and just having fun. I'm constantly just overwhelmed by responsibilities, struggles, difficulties, uncertainties and stress. I constantly ask myself if this is what life should be like. If this state of mind is normal. Is it really too much to ask to be JUST happy?
The problem is that there is nothing in my life I feel like I want to or need to change. There is no one thing in my life that is "the problem" that is making me feel this way. I have felt this way through all stages of my adult life. I have achieved things and done things and experienced things I have dreamed of, yet I still feel this way. I always have that "one thing" that I think is going to make it all better, but looking back, that one thing never does.
My brain is still my brain and I am still me. And that is what seems to be the problem. Not as easy to change as one might think. There are a lot of things about myself that I would change if I could, but being happy and healthy would be a start...
Have any of you been through anything similar? If so, did you ever get out of it? How did you manage to become "just happy"? Leave a comment and share your experience.