Although we might seem like mysterious mythological creatures, straight people are in reality just that; people.
*Disclaimer: The writer of this article is not in fact straight, but has like, a lot of straight friends to base this article on.
1. "Oh my god, straight people are so cute!"
Okay, just because we're straight doesn't mean we're all Noah and Allie from the notebook. Some of us aren't even cute at all. Take Joffrey Baratheon, for example. Not exactly someone we like to flag as the poster boy for the straight community, but he was undeniably straight.
2. "How do you know if you haven't slept with someone of the same sex?
How do you know if you've never tried sleeping with someone of the opposite sex? It just doesn't appeal to me. I'll pass. You should be happy, really. Me passing on girls just means more for you lgbtq* people out there.
3. "How does sex between you two really work?"
It always baffles me how limited the imagination of some gay people is. If you really can't work this out yourself, try googling it. It's sex, not rocket science.
4. "Do you use toys in the bedroom?"
This is, like it is for gay people, personal preference. There's no norm for how people have sex, and unless you're actually planning on sleeping with me this is quite frankly none of your business.
5. "I have this straight friend from school! You two would be perfect for each other! Should I give him your number?"
News flash, just because we're both straight doesn't mean we will immediately like each other. The world is already over populated, stop trying to force us on each other.
6. "I've always wanted a straight friend!"
This is problematic in so many ways. By saying you've always wanted a straight friend you're putting me into a box of all your stereotypes tied to my sexuality. No, I will not take you to my kid's football game or let you join our annual christmas photo in matching jumpers. Jeez.
7. "When did you choose this lifestyle?"
First of all, being straight is not like cutting meat out of your diet. It's a sexuality, not a lifestyle. And secondly, I didn't choose this. Although if it was in fact a choice, I'd probably still choose to be straight.
8. "Can I watch/join?"
Whether you're saying this as a joke or not, don't. It's offensive and gives into the idea that straight relationships only exists for the entertainment or excitement of lgbtq* people. Our sexuality is not and will never be part of your porn fantasy brought to life.