I feel like a bit of an emotional wreck today. Like, I don't know if I should feel disappointed or relieved, excited or stressed, happy or down... To be honest, I'm kind of feeling a mix of it all. I had my last exam of the block this morning and I completely messed it up and I feel really disappointed with myself, because I know I could've done better. At the same time, I feel so relieved, because even though I'll probably fail the exam, I have two weeks off ahead of me. So for now, there's no point in worrying. What's done is done. Still I feel stressed about getting the result of all my exams back. And at the same time I'm really happy and excited because I have so much fun stuff planned in the next couple of weeks. But also sad because my closest friends are moving away in about a week. Like I said, I feel a bit like an emotional wreck. At least I rewarded myself for all the effort and studying with a burger and beers with one of my closest friends this evening. And tomorrow, I'm going to start fresh again - clean the apartment, do a couple rounds of laundry, get a haircut, do grocieries... all those things I've neglected in my little study bubble. And I know that once I get it all done, I'm going to feel so much more at peace. And then I can start enjoying my time off!
This morning I got up at 6 o'clock to try to cram some last minute information into my head before my exams. I am so tired right now, both physically from a lack of sleep and mentally from all the exam stress. But I feel relieved that I got them out of the way for now at least, even though it feels like I kind of messed them up. I completely ran out of time and didn't finish either of them. Anyways. This whole afternoon I've just been laying on my bed doing literally nothing and it's been absolutely great, haha. I needed to just wind down a bit and let myself breath for a while. I have a friend coming over for a wine and movie night in a bit, which will be a well needed break from must do's. Tomorrow it's back to studying again for the last exam of the block. But now: wine!
Today I woke up from my alarm at 9 am after not nearly enough sleep. It took me forever to actually get myself up and out of the house, but around noon I finally pulled myself together. In the elevator on the way down I ran in to some neighbours and one of the ladies commented on my dress. "Are you going to a party?". Absolutely valid question, considering half of Amsterdam is out at different ADE events. "Nope", I replied, "I'm on my way to school". She looked at me like I was crazy and exclaimed "But it's Saturday!". Lady, believe me, there are about 101 things I would rather spend my Saturday doing, but with two exams coming up on Tuesday, it's time to put the studying into full gear. I stayed in school until I got kicked out of the library at 18:30 when they were closing. Once back at the apartment, Carlotta came over with a bottle of red and I made us some carbonara. Then we spent the rest of our Saturday evening drinking tea and studying. Now I've decided my brain has had enough for today, so I'm going to get into bed with another cup of tea and an episode of Peaky Blinders before I call it a night. Hope you're all out enjoying your Saturday nights instead of reading this right now!