Young and immature

I think we all have been there from time to time. I always hear people say "I was young and stupid". I can definitely say I have been young, stupid and immature.

Kids lie, that's just something kids do. But there is a difference between lies and "lies". And I truly did LIE a lot growing up. I've been reading some psychology, because I find it interesting, and I found out that kids usually lie about things that are harmless, and they often get caught. I did not.

I still don't quite know why I lied so much as a child. Perhaps I just wanted attention. Perhaps it was the only way I could see myself getting friends, and keeping friends. But the biggest lie I ever told was after my brother had died.

I was depressed. Deeply depressed. Suicidal. Family issues. School issues. And I felt like the only way to escape everything around me, was to create a new me. At the time, I was a huge fan of Adam Lambert. I also have a very... neutral face. Meaning I can easily be seen as a boy or girl. Only those that actually knew me would know.

So, because of Adam I joined Twitter. I made up a character, Taylor, and I "changed" my gender. At the time I was very unsure about my sexuality. Anyhow, I was a boy and I lied to soooooo many people. After a few years however, I came out. Told everyone the truth, some took it better than others. I totally respect their reaction. I think I kept the lie up for nearly three and a half years.

What I'm grateful for, are the people that didn't care that I lied. I wouldn't say they were understanding, I bet I hurt them all in one way or another. But some accepted it and kept in contact with me. Which made me feel really good. Because for once, people liked me for being me. And it's a memory I will hold very dearly.

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