I've been procrastinating this "terrible" post. Mostly because I don't want to face the fact that he's not around anymore. But also because I just wanted to let it all sink in.
Back in May, 14th to be exact (see link if you have missed), it was all so... different. I mean
Going to the airport
Snuggling at the airport
Going through security
Get on the flight
It all just felt so easy at that time. While Cody on the other hand broke down the day before and before I was leaving. The sadness didn't quite hit me until way later. It's a weird feeling - feeling like you belong in a country, a state, where you have never actually been to until that one time and everything just sort of clicks. Yes, I have some American blood in me so America will always be a part of me. But I never thought HE would be the one whom brought all these feelings down on me. Texas felt like home I realized that horrible day in July.
And today came the dreadful day. It was now Cody's time to leave me!
We were up all night last night. Taking every second we had together. We played games, read a book. But most of all, just snuggled up together. But the snuggling would come to an end... at 8 AM we were out the door, heading towards the airport.
At certain points through the journey I felt my heart sank. We would be apart from each other once again. But there were other things gnawing inside me. But more about that in a later post.
Cody and I snuggled on the express train that would take us to the airport. We arrived at 10.25, and we still had more than enough time to snuggle some more. But the clock ticked fast. 10.40.... 10.59.... 11.15.... and that was when he had to go through security. I didn't want him to go. I almost started crying, luckily he cried for me.
We sat their in each other's embrace. Just taking in the few last seconds we had left. I watched as he walked through the security. I breathed heavily so I didn't cry, I taught myself not to cry in public. I have never felt this pain before. Like I said, the time in May was so easy. Barely any feelings at all at that time! But now... the pain was so indescribable!
After security check was done, he turned around and blew me a kiss... and so, he was gone.