Dear depression…

You are, without a doubt, the rudest guest I’ve ever had the dishonor of hosting.

You came uninvited, and even if you were ever invited, well you came too early. You ran into this home that I had organized for myself and you messed it all up. You’re very messy, you hide things around every corner of my home that come as inconvenient surprises whenever I try to get things done. You litter a whole lot too, leaving your shit around for me to clean up.

You make me so tired. You run around constantly grabbing things, putting them in my arms for me to hold onto, and it becomes really heavy after a while ya’know? I feel like I always need to rest from you but whenever I get back up I feel even more exhausted somehow.

Do you never sleep? Do you not take breaks? Will you never give me a break?

I’m guessing no.

As if it weren’t enough that you were never invited in the first place, you also gave yourself the permission to stay the night. Nights. More than just one. You’re terribly active during the night.
You lie on my back, weighing me down and making me heavy. You whisper myths, or perhaps “myths” is the wrong word. You tell me things that I would never believe in broad daylight, but somehow they seem to make more sense during the night, in the dark.

Sometimes you smell like something else, you smell of fear and anxiety, like what I imagine paranoia would smell like. Slowly and on shaking bambi legs you reveal yourself to me as something more than just depression, as something more than just sadness and exhaustion.

You have overstayed your unplanned visit, depression. No matter how much I’ve tried to make you leave you refuse to budge, you have planted your roots in my bed and you have left your smell on my pillows.
I’m felling alone, now that you’re here all the time no one seems to want to come around.

Do you feel alone?

I mean, you must be feeling alone, since you’re inviting friends over now! Now we have another person living in my house. Uninvited. Her name is Anxiety and I hate her guts. She sleeps right in front of my door and makes it so hard for me to go places and see people. She chews on my phone cords so I can’t talk to people right, well I mean I can if I really try but it’s very very hard to get my message across.

Though I must give it to Anxiety, she’s very convincing.

You know, I was never really afraid to talk to the doctor over the phone or ask the cashier where the pretzels were, but Anxiety managed to put the fear of god in me!

How did she do that?
All she had to really say was that I would embarrass myself and be made fun of. What a character she is, that Anxiety.

I don’t really like any of you; you’re both annoying and get in the way of me doing basic human tasks. You’ve slowed down the rhythm of my drum and taken the needle off of my record player. You make me lay in bed too much and won’t let me clean my room, my passions are now just forgotten hobbies and my friends are frail fragments of my memory because you won’t let me see them.

And sometimes I think you’re leaving.

I think I’ve finally done a good enough job at ignoring you and you’ve gotten bored of my humble abode and you’re about to up and leave. And you do!

You leave and I can finally breather again. The imprint of my body is no longer left on my bed and I can finally see my bedroom floor because my old dirty clothes aren’t covering it anymore. My guitar gives out a cloud of dust when I finally play it again, but at least I’m playing.

And just as I’m about to replace the old chewed up phone cords that Anxiety ruined, you’re back.

You’re back here and I’m back in bed. Im covering my eyes for I do not want to see you again and you’re covering my floor, again. I’m leaving mental distractions like mousetraps to catch Anxiety and she’s leaving splinters of my broken guitar to trap me. You are back in my home and it seems as if you’re here to stay.

Dear depression, you are fluid. You can whisper or you can shout, you come at 3am or 3pm, when it’s sunny or when it’s cloudy. You trick me to think you are gone and let me feel light for sometimes just a minute, sometimes for something that feels like a lifetime.

Depression, you are not me, but you are a part of me.
You are a part that easily comes and hardly goes.

Dear depression,
some day I will get rid of you, and you shall not be missed in my home.

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The thing about success…

Success; that thing that you swear you will flash in front of the ones who didn't believe in you when you were growing up. The ultimate antidepressant and the psychological equivalent of a mothers approving hug.

Everyone thrives after success, thrives after the self-validation that comes with succeeding in life. But what does it mean to succeed in life?

Many seem to be under the impression that success is measured in possessions. Measured in the clothes you wear, watches you own and cars you drive. That it is solely material, being successful. That it is something others should know that you are when they look at you. That it is something you should be able to taste, touch, smell and hold in your arms and protect yourself with when the reaper is coming for you on your deathbed.

Here's the catch though, in the eyes of the reaper, we are all the same. It does not matter how much you had to beg, borrow and steal to have the material greed you call success.

My point isn't to say people who dress nice, have nice cars and diamond studded watches aren't successful; it is not in my place to make those claims. But what I can do is unfold success for you.

I, for example, am already terribly successful. I'm a young, successful person.

In one day, 24 hours, I make the choice to be successful various times. Because that's what success is in the end, smaller acts of selflessness and productivity for yourself and others that will create pathways for you.

Pathways. When you are born, certain pathways are already dug for you. Your first thousand days, those rosy-cheeked years before you can make your own decisions, the road is pretty clear. You're going to this daycare, wearing these clothes, going to these toddlers’ birthday parties and participate in these mommy/baby gatherings.

When you finally start to dig your own paths, that's where success becomes a part of the agenda.

And the road to success took a number of steps.

Being a good sibling. Helping people in times of need. Giving helpful advice. A pat on the back for someone else and for yourself. Removing toxins in the form of people from your life. Loving thy neighbor. Keeping a good attitude for the sake of others.

All of these things make you successful.

They successfully make you a good person. And that's just it, that is the biggest reward, the greatest self-journey and the ultimate gift that keeps giving.

And why would you want to be successful, if not for the feeling love and wholesomeness that comes in the form of appreciation when you put out happiness in the world.




Self love. Some people look all their life for the door to self love, some people have no struggle mastering the art of it. Because it truly is a form of art. It is not common to just wake up one day and decide that today is the day you start loving yourself, but it's not impossible. It can take a lifetime or a month. A second or a decade. But the road to self love is brighter with each step.

Up until eight grade I sorted aspects of myself in certain categories, or boxes maybe. My weight and body was shelved under "too big", my personality was marked "too loud", my face was categorized as "not pretty enough" and me as a whole had big bold letters that said "NOT GOOD ENOUGH". I had a habit that was worse than cracking knuckles or smoking. I had a habit of comparing myself to others. She's prettier than me. He's nicer than me. They're skinnier than me. She has better clothes. He has nicer eyes. Now when I look back, I see how unnecessary that was. What good do you get from comparing yourself to someone else? How will you develop as a person if you spend the majority of your time thinking about other peoples assets? There is a fine line between admiring someone else's beauty and criticizing you own.
In the beginning of eight grade I found myself changing. I was becoming unapologetically me. I did not cower when someone dismissed me or my statements, because I knew that my opinion was mine for a reason. I no longer felt fear when someone looked at me the wrong way and I mastered the art of "not giving a shit". I knew that if I was going to start loving myself, I had to know my self worth. And in order for that to happen, I had to start respecting myself and stop apologizing for being my own individual.

I planted my feet like the roots of an ancient tree and stood my ground. I refused to be run over by some tired ass show girls and I never ever wanted to feel like less of a being because someone did not like me.

Fast forward to graduation day. Everyone carried themselves with a straight back and their heads held high. We were gorgeous, because we were proud of our journey. I had realized that self love wasn't all about learning/knowing how beautiful you were. Self love had layers. Layer consisting of learning how to be proud of everything you do, how to accept your flaws, how to be a good person and love every small thing for what it was.

Three months later I start a new school. I meet maybe 85 new people and brought a handful of individuals of my past with me. A boy from my old class and I get placed in the same homeroom and even though I had been his friends for maybe 3 years, I could sense something was different after the summer. When I finally got a moment alone with him we talk about the usual, summer break and so on. I bring up the fact that I sense a change in him, the way he carries himself perhaps, tell him that he seems more upright and has more "pep in his step". I vaguely remember him telling me about a book he had read that summer that had helped him stop caring what other people thought of him and he had become more confident. I was so happy for him. I saw how a bit of confidence could change the entire image of a person.

It's been two years since my little revelation, two years since I realized I'm too good of a person to ever be ashamed of how I look or how other people perceive me. I look up to people so transgressive and unapologetic that I feel right at home with ugly side glances and hushed whispers. Remember, unless they're paying your bills pay them b*tches no mind!

I recognized my self worth, and from that moment on I doubled it every single day.
Every morning I chose myself, and I will never apologize for it.




'Tis the season my friends! When Halloween is still in your veins but you also just brought down that box of Christmas decorations from the attic and you're ready for some damn festivities! For me, there is no time better than fall to cuddle down and watch some amazing movies. So wheather you're all alone this holiday season or if you have some friends or a significant other you'll be spending time with, here are 10 of my all time favorite movies for this time of year and some movies I recommend just in general. Don't forget to comment if you yourself have some classics that you want to share!

1. Death becomes her
An old favorite (that my mom thinks sucks) with Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep in the leading roles. The movie is as funny as it is creative and tearing your eyes away from the screen is next to impossible. A movie with an ending that I myself til this day still love with all my heart and constantly recite. A big plus is that you can find some good Halloween costumes that are easy to make in this movie.
Favorite line: "It'd be ... You and me... together. ... Painting each other's asses. Day and night...FOREVER!"

2. Nightmare before Christmas
One if my all time favorite movies at any time of year! I remember showing this movie to 2 of my friends and I was sitting there reciting the whole movie line by line. This movie is so much more worth watching when you know how much work went into it and how long it took to perfect it (I recommend you watch "107 facts about NBC", I appreciated it so much more after learning all this. It has so many amazing musical numbers that it's impossible to just chose /one/ to stick by. Bonus fact, I have to say that my favorite characters in this movie (except Jack and Sall) are Lock,Shock and Barrel. Horrendous lil shits, sickening!

Favorite songs: This is Halloween, Kidnap the Sandy Claws, Simply meant to be, Oogie Boogie's Song.

3. Edward Scissorhands
You might cry, you might start screwing up scissors for your next Halloween costume, if you're me you start planning a placement for your tattoo.
Cameo: Vincent Price
4. Mars Attacks
C A M P !
5. Hurricane Bianca
When Richard Martinez (Roy Haylock/ Bianca Del Rio), a gay man living in New York, gets a teaching job in little small minded Texas, his entire word is turned upside down. Withing the first week he is fired from his chemistry teacher position as the school board find out that he is a homosexual man, and he sets his mind on revenge. He shortly returns to the school, no loner as Richard, but as Ms.Bianca Del Rio, a woman with 6 inch heels, double D breasts, a face painted for the gods, and an attitude that could bring you down to your knees withing seconds. Hurricane Bianca has hit Texas.
Favorit line/s: "listen Debbie, I'm fu*king this cat, you're just holding the legs!" "I'm gonna call you bathmat, not because of that shirt, but because you smell like feet!"
Cameos: Alyssa Edwards, Willam Belli, Shangela
6. Corpse Bride
So damn quote able. Three words. Corpse. Bride. Wedding.

7. The Star Wars Franchise
Goes without saying.

8. How the Grinch stole Christmas

9. Vincent (Short film)
What made me fall in love with Tim Burton. The entire clip is like a long poem and honey you /know/ I can quote it by heart. It holds a very special place in my heart and once upon a time I shared it with a person and I don't regret doing so as they learned to love Tim Burton just like me.

10. Rocky Horror Picture Show
I wanna go - Oh oh oh oh-To the late night, double feature, picture show!
There you go!
I hope you find it in you to check out some of these movies as each and every one are on this list for reasons that are unique for just them. I hope you have a great week and don't forget to keep warm as we are entering holiday season 🎄💙⛄




Despite not being on this earth for too long, there are many things that I have learned during my 16 years of existence, and I feel like I should share some things. So listen up

Not everyone is going to like you.
And that's fine. What's important is that you like yourself. Now I don't mean that you should go around and be a bad person as long as you think that it's okay behavior. What I'm saying is that just like you don't like some people, some people won't like you. And it isn't always personal, no matter how strange that sounds, sometimes people are just plain bitter. Don't get hung up on it, be at peace with it and move on. Period.

Don't take yourself too seriously.
Have fun in your teen years. Don't spend a vast majority of your time thinking about something critical someone said. Lord knows I have spent many nights imagining a fight with someone just because they said something about me that I found slightly rude or unnecessary. Take everything with a pinch of salt, live with humor at the tip of your tongue and laugh just like you breathe. Of course if someone tries to cross you in a genuinely harsh way or if they're just downright mean, stand up for yourself.

Not everything needs a response.
I myself seemed to have some kind of need to always respond to everything, even if it wasn't directed towards me. I responded to things like snarky comments, someone else (according to me) dumb opinions, questions that weren't mine to answer, actions that bothered me and just genuinely put my two cents in when it wasn't even my business. Now when I look back I see how annoying it was when other people did it and how annoying it must've been when I did it. Learn from mistakes frens, and remember, a look says more that a thousand words.

Words can't hurt you.
A very bright person by the name of Jinkx Monsoon once said "Words can't hurt you. Only your own perception of those words." Meaning, don't let someone else words bring you down, what's really hurting you is the way you handle and take those words. The most important voice in your life will always be your own, a voice is a weapon and that's why it should be handled with care. Remember, anything that brings you down is simply just

There is no definition of beauty
Beauty is not something that should come with a picture as reference. TV and magazines will build an ideal picture of what they define as "beauty" to sell or plug products, and people eat it up. Beautiful isn't just something you are, it's something you do. There is just as much beauty in action as there is in simplicity, a sunrise or in spotted skin. Your own perception of beauty is the one you do what you want with.

There is no hurry.
With the years I see more and more younger kids tryna rush the aging process. They want to be "grown up", they wanna go out with their friends and wear makeup and they start swearing and think that drinking an energy drink makes them look cool. I have never understood why they are in such a rush to grow up. You age and get older every single second, you have the rest of your life to be an adult but you only get one childhood, you're a kid only once. You have no place to be, so why hurry. The world turns slowly, you should do the same.

Asking for help does not mean you are weak.
Asking for help in a hard situation does not mean that you are weak and can't handle life on your own, it simply means that you are aware enough to know that some extra help could make things easier. Assistance is not something you should fear, both asking for help and helping is as natural as breathing, so why would you not do it. I understand that there might be a thought in the back of your head saying that it will be a such a "heavy burden" but believe me, there are many people who would gladly help you at all times.

That was all my frens, perhaps a lil short but I hope you found something you could either apply to your life or relate to. Have a great weekend darlings 💐💛

(SONGS OF THE NIGHT! I've been listening to the album TAXIDERMY by the fabulous (and complete genius) Sharon Needles all week. I recommend the songs Hollywoodn't, Taxidermy and Dracula now that we are getting closer to spooky halloween week👻🎃 Check it out on Spotify, iTunes and YouTube!)




Sometimes, life is really into lemons. So life decides "Hey! This person would love some lemons!" and so, life gives you lemons. But you don't want lemons, no not at all. In fact, the last thing you want to hold at the moment is a bunch of lemons. But you still have to do something with all of these lemons in your hands, so naturally, you make lemonade.

Going through a hard time should not be seen as a form of punishment from the universe, keep in mind that, no matter how cliché it may sound, you must face the rain to get to see the rainbow. Where I am at in my life right now is in the middle of a giant and messy hurricane. But the hurricane came to me oh so quietly. There was no warning or sign of it, it came tip toeing around a dark corner and grabbed me and my company by our sweating necks.
I thought, how will I not choke on my own misery after this?

I was afraid to wipe anyones tears as I thought my fingers were razors. The only thing I wanted was to know how to breath, every intake of air felt like the first after spending an hour under water and moving my eyes from the same dirt spot on the white wall gave me a thunder of a headache.

My firend, have you ever felt like this?
While I want to say I don't want to be alone with having this feeling, I also would never wish it on my worst enemy.
I have to find a way to look after myself, I have to learn how to pull myself out of the dirt. Because taking a shower feels like a chore, my room hasn't been cleaned in 6 days, I've been in the same sweatpants and too-warm shirt for the past week and the circles under my eyes are bigger than my will to be awake.

I feel lost, confused, betrayed by the universe, I feel empty of tears but can't seem to stop crying. I feel like there is a big animated grey could with thunder and a storm right over my head and all I can seem to do is sit in this uncomfortable hospital chair and let it rain on me. If you were to take my pulse you could only do it by grabbing my cold feet because my heart has dropped and I feel like it's about to stop every time someone comes out of that white, disinfectant smelling, beeping room. When I take walks I look up at the gloomy sky and I get the same feeling I get when I see an old friend who did me wrong. All I wonder is, what did we do to deserve this hell?

In the eye of the hurricane, there is quiet, for just a moment. My friend if you are going through hell well then keep going. Rise and rise again until the lamb in you becomes a lion, take no SHIT from the world but do no harm. Be your own damn hurricane. You are not alone, not now, not ever. You will always have me, my strong lion.




As I'm writing this I lay sick in bed, covered in tissues and blankets watching my new friends' snapchat stories (add me on snapchat guys niki_ghxssemi) from last night, smiling at their silliness and pretty grins. I think to myself, how adorable and gorgeous aren't they? The memory of seeing them in the streets, hugging them and just being in their presence puts a warmth in my body that just won't leave.

In the midst of it all I catch myself off guard, a thought pops up,

when I started my old school 4 years ago, did I feel like this about those new people after just 4 weeks as I do with these new individuals in my life?

When I think long and hard about it, I don't think I did. I would even go as far as saying I didn't feel really at home with my old classmates until my last year, in reality it took three years, but I was so in love with the thought of having a class that felt like a family I completely got lost in the illusion. Now, I don't want anyone thinking I disliked my old class or classmates, all I am saying is that it's never taken just a single month for me to find so many people to connect with and so many smiles that calm me down. These people are gorgeous inside and out.
Some of you might read that and roll your eyes, maybe your thinking "smh she's literally just known them for a month she a fake" but I am telling you, these people are so genuine, understanding and kindhearted. I feel like my heart has grown and I feel so at peace with how my surroundings look at the moment.

Now I ask myself, how did it come to this? How did it only take a month this time? I ponder over it and come to the conclusion that this time, I was accepting, I felt more okay with finding new friends, more friends. Yes, I admit, the first week was filled with guilt over finding new friends, I thought of my best friends and it all just felt like cheating, but I learned to accept, and in a way, move on. I tell myself that I will never grow if I do not learn how to adapt to the changes, the world is turning and it will not wait for anyone. I did not turn the pages to this new chapter in my life only to chicken out and re-read the last chapter.

These new individuals, these new souls, they will walk next to me, dance with me, and share laughs with me for many years to come, and we shall share love like never before because things have changed, and that is alright. My heart feels like it beats intact with this three story building and my eyes have never been more open to new times and new faces. I walk down a street on a Saturday and every few steps I recognize a sunny face and they smile and I smile and I get warm and it's all golden.

I'm overwhelmed with emotions and don't know how to end this post, I'm sorry for being gone for so long, I will really try to find time for this blog and genuinely hope you enjoyed this post.

Remember to stay hydrated and make this your week my frens!




I've been feeling very solid with my choice of music during my alone-time this weekend and I felt like being generous and decided to share some of this weekends top hand-picked songs just for you. So this is 10 songs I'm recommending for those angsty dancing sessions in your room at 11 pm, from me to you 🎧🙏

Bang Bang - Green Day
(They're back! Green Day returns with their brand new single Bang Bang, a raw, old-sounding song about gun violence with a sound that takes you back to those Green Day peak days!)

The Rock Show - blink-182
(Fun story! The bands manager asked "Where's the summer happy Blink 182 fun time?" and so Mark Hoppus replied with "You want a f*cking single? I'll write you the cheesiest f*cking throwaway single ever!" and wrote this song in about 10 minutes out of pure spite, yet it's still a complete jam)

Mother Mary - Foxboro Hot Tubs
(The Foxboro Hot Tubs was a side project/band that Green Day formed 2007, and it was a damn hit! Check out my favorite FHT song right here!)

We don't have to dance - Andy Black
Frontman of BVB, Andy Biersack, announced to Kerrang! in 2014 that he was doing a solo side project outside of the band with a much more different sound, getting his inspirations from 80's synth- and gothmusic. He worked with (the man, the myth, the absolute legend) producer John Feldman)

My Friends Over You - New Found Glory
(The amount of nostalgia that comes with this song is unbelievable! Not much to say about this song, the ultimate TBT, still a song that makes you play air guitar and throw yourself on your dirty floor whenever it comes on)

Alpha Omega - MGK
Kudos to AP and my friend for introducing me to MGK, this song in particular makes me feel like I'm in a alleyway at 4am giving side glances to the people who wronged me…and I'm wearing a bandana around my face…and it's black and white…and angsty)

Kill the DJ - Green Day
(wow, tons of GD on this list, I'll just let this one go without an explanation, it's good, it's angsty, it makes me do finger guns at the ceiling, listen to it)

Sledgehammer - Rihanna
(This song was written by Sia for the new Star Trek movie, and you really get that nice Sia vibe from it, but Rihanna's powerful vocals is what makes this song. It's that kind of song that you dance like Loreen to. And of course the amazing music video that it comes with is just a bonus)

Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
(The song that went double platinum 10 years after it was released, truly iconic. It was the song that put Yellowcard on the radio on loop for the majority of 2004 and gave them some heavy MTV screen time and scored countless award nominations, needless to say, it's a true anthem for any pop-punk fan.

Bored to Death - blink-182
(AAAHHHH!!!! BLIIIIIINNKKK!!!! They're back with their newest album "California" and y'all…my dudes…it's so GOOD! People like to nag about 'bleh…hurr durr…the old blink was better! they're sellouts man!' but they LIE!

There you go! Check out some of these songs why don't you👍 Don't forget to comment if you feel like sharing some of your own weekend favorites😊

Stay hydrated and make sure you get enough sleep my frens!




I wanna start off with saying sorry for not updating the past couple of days but I just started school and since it's all very new I had to really focus on getting ready for that, and I've also been to a teamwork-kinda-camp for the past three days, BUT I'M BACK!
In the spirit of back to school season (ugh) I have decided to make this post about how the first days of a new school with new people felt for me, I'll also try to maybe share some tips during the post on how to deal with some of this stuff.

The first day I was surprisingly enough not as scared or nervous as I thought I would be, the days prior to this day I was shaking with nerves but I calmed down when I realized that I was going to this school with some of my closest friends, and a thought that really helped me going into that room full of new people at 8 am that morning was 'this is just as new for them as it for you'. There is no need to think that you are the only one who is scared here, everyone's just as nervous as you are and no one is gonna pay the wrong kind of attention to you, they just want to see the people they're gonna be hanging with for the next few years, stop over analyzing stuff.

There was one thing I caught myself doing that I would say is pretty bad, you see, I really love the majority of the people in my old class, and leaving them was a really hard thing for me to do and I had tons of separation anxiety over it. The first day at my new school I connected every new person I met to one of my friends at my old school. I would meet a girl that reminded me of one of my girlfriends and I would remember this new girl that way, which I realized isn't really fair or smart. It's not fair to this new person I'm meeting because all I'm gonna be thinking about us my old fiend and how they were, I won't get to know this person for them. And it's not smart because it doesn't help me move on from the past. And when I say "move on" I don't mean "completely forget my old friends" but more like "it's time to open up to more people". Having anxiety over such a thing as seeing your friends less is something I'm sure some of you can relate to, and it's normal man, going from seeing your friends 5 out of 7 days of the week to seeing them here and there during the month is a big change, and some people aren't too keen on big changes. And even now in my new school I still feel a pull towards the friends I brought with me from the old school and when I'm with them it feels like my setting never changed, they are all my safe place and comfort zone, but we all know how important it is to step out of your comfort zone. Get pushed out of it if you need to. And you can't expect to become best friends with everyone the first day, not everyone is gonna open up, and you have to be patient and give them time, getting out of ones comfort zone takes different time for different people.

Another thing that happened was that I was extremely upset over having to leave some of my absolute best friends behind, but my best friends mom (Hi second mom Ullis hope you're reading this!) told me something really important, she said that:
"It's time to move on, but you have to believe me that your story goes on, sometimes with some big pauses. In my case it is 10 or 20 years but when you see each other again everything is the same, just better. It's never 'goodbye' it's just 'Have fun, see you later!'"

You have to remember that even though it feels like

reuniting with them will still be like

But it wasn't even half as hard as I thought it would be to get to know these people, I was so lucky and was placed in a class with super nice and interesting people and after just knowing them for four days I know that I'll find a home in each and every one of these individuals. Showing ones true colors takes time, but I know I will be patient and let these people take their time just the way I will need them to be patient with me.

Anyways, I'm sorry if this post didn't live up to your standards but I'll just hope you all enjoyed it, it's in the middle of the night as I'm writing this and I've been going on 4 hours of sleep the whole day, so I'm gonna stop this now.

I wish you all an amazing school start and a huge good luck with your studies and social life, take things step by step and do things at your own pace.

Stay hydrated and make it your weekend my frens!




I have so many amazing friends, I really do, I'm a lucky bastard y'all know I am. And I have a lot of people to thank for a lot of things, here is just a fraction of it all. (WARNING! Sh*t gets sappy)

Thank you to my friend who always says good morning to me. Every. Singel. Morning. Do not think I take you for granted, when I wake up before you I wait for you to pick up your phone to tell me "Good morning!" and "How did you sleep?". I'm blessed to have such a good friend who cares about me the way you do. Also thank you for never getting mad at me when I tell you to piss off after a sleepless night. +Thank you for always sending half bad memes to me whenever i ask you too. I'm blessed to have you.

Thank you to my friends who let me freak out in the group chat over small things they don't really care about but support me anyways. Thank you for being enthusiastic and asking me about it, thanks for never asking me to calm down and thanks for not ignoring me. I know it takes a lot of patience to deal with me in the midst of a mental breakdown when i think my favorite band i reuniting. You have never neglected me or made any of my interests seem dumb or any of my problems seem small. You are all saints.

Thank you to my friend who just lets me give him ridiculous nicknames and just rolls with whatever weird stuff I decide to throw at him depending on my mood that day. You always take my attitude with a straight face and deal with it by sending those emoticons you know will piss me off even more. You make my day slightly better when you send me those articles and pictures you find oh so entertaining. You're my own personal tiny sun who warms up my ice cold heart slightly more every day.

Thank you to my friend who's always on a good mood when i see him. Thank you for being a true champ and carrying my extremely heavy bad that one time without me needing to ask you. You're the most spontaneous friend I have ever had and every time I get to hang out with you is a golden core memory as you make everything into your own little adventure. I really lucked out when i got to be your friend and I'm blessed to get more time with you.

Thank you to my friend who always rants with me about our favorite shows, bands, youtubers and people. Never once have you not supported me in a mental breakdown because of our favorite show, you're such an angel who warns me about some episodes and never have you ever left me to drown in self pity because my favorite character died. You are also, without a doubt, the absolute funniest person I know, you lighten up my day every time you tag me in something you find funny (or extremely rude) on instagram and you never fail to make me feel special. Thank you for all the smiles you've blessed me with.

Thank you to my friend whose so good at everything you make it your duty to help me and your other friends out when we don't understand something. You never make us feel less than, you don't call us dumb for not getting it, you make sure to tell us in a way we understand and you don't stop until we've gotten it, and for that I thank you. You're an overall amazing person, you're extremely exciting to be around and I can't help but find myself smiling whenever I'm around you. I love the way you get over-excited when you find a clip that went viral 5 years ago and I love the way you never let anyone walk over you. We all admire you so much.

Thank you to my friend who never shames me for being extremely lazy and not wanting to get out of the bed at 2 pm when you've been out there in the rain running laps for the past two hours. You always make sure to tell me to do things at my own pace and always make sure I eat well and get enough sleep (sorry I never listen to you and sleep too little and skip breakfast at times). Thank you for never keeping quiet about any bumps in the road you may have, thank you for always letting me be there for you. You have helped me grow as a person and you have had an amazing impact on my life.

Thank you to my friend who not only looks out for me at all times, but looks out for all of us in our little friend group. Thank you for always finding ways for all of us to hangout and thank you for needing us as much as we need you. I can't recall a time where I needed you and you weren't there. You always made sure every one was included and made us all feel special and welcome in any setting. You are my anchor and you keep me grounded when my thoughts go running wild, and I hope I have helped you in the ways you have helped me.

Thank you to my friend who never lets me do anything crazy…by myself. Thank you for always joining me in my way-too-loud laughing on the bus, thank you for dancing with me in the middle of a clothing stores, thank you for sharing your food with me. Thank you for the times you talked to me until we both fell asleep, thank you for never letting it be truly quiet since you always filled even silence with love and happiness. Thank you for never getting truly mad when I sing the songs you hate and bring back those old memories you find so embarrassing. Thank you for never forcing me to delete a photo of you because you know how much i like capturing our memories. You are the center of every parallel universe there is.

I'm not really sure how to end this as I am overcome with sappyness and emotion so I'm just gonna go and hope y'all enjoyed reading this (not sorry if you didn't (: )

Stay hydrated and make it a great day my frens!