So, at the moment I am on "study" leave. Have I been studying? Not much, haha. Well, my days have been filled with some studying, walks with Jennie, Ruben and my family, taking care of the doggo, sleeping and watching Netflix. And I have actually managed to go to the gym a few times too! I know many people worry about me going to the gym since my anorexia. But luckily I have Rubs who understands my illness and helps me tackle those thoughts and urges when they come over me. I won't lie, it is hard going to the gym and not wanting to do a bunch of cardio. But as I said, I have Ruben who is like a guardian angel and he won't let me focus on cardio but on building strength. Strength and muscles that I need so bad. I have no strength at all and can't even squat an empty bar. Thats how weak I am. But I am happy I can finally start building some strength since Rubs is a real gym guru and is there to help me get stronger. And he also makes me eat well after the gym so I actually gain strength and some weight instead of losing it. It is scary but I'll rather be a few kilos heavier and be strong, healthy and HAPPY!