I have thought about it several times - and at first I thought surgery admitted defeat and weakness. That it's the easy way out - a quick-fix for lazy people who don't try hard enough. Oh boy was I wrong on so many levels.

Im 25 years old, soon to be 26. I weigh over 100kilos, 114 to be correct. Im scared that I won't be able to have children because of my weight. Im scared that I will end up with diabetes or other health issues caused by my weight. Im tired of being unhappy with the way I look. Thinking im not good enough and always have to prove myself to everyone.

So I have talked to the doctors about the option of getting a surgery - a gastric bypass or gastric sleeve. It's a long way to go. Here in Sweden you first have to contact a doctor at your local health center. That doctor will evaluate if you fit the criteria, have tried to lose weight by yourself or got any health issues caused by the overweight. That doctor will than send a referral to the surgery clinic at the hospital. 

That's where I am today - waiting to get an appointment at the clinic for further information and evaluation. 

I will first get a invitation for a groupmeeting where they will talk about the procedure. About the risks. What a surgery mean. How it will affect your life. It's a big adjustment. Then they want you to really think it through. Before you ask to take the next step and meet with the doctor who will be preforming the surgery who again will evaluate if you fit the criteria. 

So I wont get a call tomorrow and asked if I wanna get the surgery or not. Therefore I have to do something. I have to act like if I wasn't waiting to be accepted for surgery. I have to lose weight by myself. Maybe I don't even want a surgery after getting all the info at the groupmeeting. I can't live my life around of what might be happening. 

I will creat a category in this blog where I will post everything about the surgery and update it whenever I get some news from the doctors. In the mean time, you can follow my weightloss journey here and on Instagram.