Baby J

Sometimes things happens that kind of hit you of the edge. This was one of those things. I was on my vacation in Spain when Meg called, at first I didn’t answer but after five missed calls I knew something was up.
She was super exciting at the other side of the phone, I could hear her giggling while nervously telling me the news. She is pregnant. Of course I was and am happy for her but it came like a chock. Megan, with the blonde hair who usually is the one who fucks up even more then I do is about to become a mother. I didn’t really respond, laught a little and said that I’d call her back when I arrived to Sweden. It wasn’t my intention to be so cold but that is what happened.
I’ve always said that whatever makes her happy makes me happy as well but I wasn’t. Not this time. It is ego, I know but I was so chocked. Here I was planning out our life together and I was by far not ready to be fucking up my life alone. Meg is, as most of you know four years older then me. She’s 25 and her having a baby make sense even though I thought we’d be the last ones standing. Anyways, I was not happy and she could tell. I barley gave her any respond and she got more and more annoyed with me as well (which I understand). Emilie actually had to step in to tell me to get over it because I was about to loose one of the most important persons in my life.
I do regret my way to respond. I understand that I kind of ruined it for her as well, but to my defense I was scared. Scared of loosing the nearest thing to a big sister I got. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and but I was not ready to say goodbye to the era we created. But now I am, I think. Maybe it’s time for the both of us to leave and let a new era begin.
I know that you are reading this and that’s why I decided to type in English. I love you and I am so incredibly proud of you in so many ways and I am sorry. (We have obvi talked and she knows that I’m gonna write a lill something). You are my person, regardless anything else and I cant wait to meet little J. My heart is bubbling over the thought of holding him in my arms, a little human that you created. I know that I will love him just as much as I love you. You have always been my role model and now I’m gonna become his. And with you as his mother I know for a fact that he’s gonna be a wild one.



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