“Stop playing hard to get”, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard a range of different versions of this sentence. Mostly from men, but also from my friends that think I should “get more out there”. I’m not feeling it. Sure, I’ve tried to give people chances when I didn’t really want to, but it never led to anything more than an entertaining story at its best, or just a waste of time at its worst.
Recently I was reminded (thanks social media!) about a guy I had a short fling with a couple of years ago. It was doomed from the start; nevertheless I really felt a connection there. It was magnetic. It wasn’t only physical, even though I could have drowned in his eyes. I felt like I could be myself from the start, there wasn’t a moment when we didn’t have a topic to talk about. We both felt it.
And now, thinking back, I remember that I really wasn’t playing “hard to get”. I asked him for his number and gave him mine. The first night I met him. I didn’t play any games talking with his friends more than him, I was talking with everyone but my attention was always directed at him.
Even though this connection was the most magnetic one, similar scenarios have happened through the years. There was this one guy I would’ve never seen myself with in theory and the first guy I felt something for… With them, I just knew what I wanted and I never played hard to get. I think I knew that if I didn’t try I would regret it; I couldn’t let it be decided by “destiny” or whatever you want to call it. I had to take it in my own hands. But that happened with no more than three guys in my life.
The rest… Well, I was just not interested or hesitant. And when I’m not interested, I’m just hard to get because I’m not feeling the whole situation. No, I’m taking that back, I’m not hard to get when I’m not interested, I’m impossible to get. If I’m hesitant, I might give you a chance, but there won’t be any magical sparks and I won’t ever look back at it years later and still miss the thing we had. How can I be so sure? Because deep inside I know that I’m still waiting to feel that magnetic force again.