//It's 9 o'clock in the evening the 31st of December 2018 and for the first time ever, I feel like this means something to me. For many years I have not felt any connection to New Year's Eve and the inauguration of the coming year, but this year is different. For the first time, I feel that I will enter 2019 with so much knowledge and with new power & energy. I am ready for this year. I WANT this year, oh I want so many things.
The last two months I have worked so much on myself. Maybe more than I understood before. Something I'm going to work on in 2019 is to let go of things. Releasing old memories, negativity, anger, anxiety, poor self-esteem and so on. Earlier today, Daniel and I were on a New Year's Eve dinner. During dinner, we talked about New Year's resolutions. I have always had New Year's resolutions that have been tough goals. For example. get these many readers, go down this much in weight, read this many books or something like that. This year, the only promise I have to myself is to let me grow and become a better version of me than I have been before. The words jumped out of my mouth before I had even clearly thought through the sentence, but it really is my New Years resolution. Because during these months I have already come so far in my growth and I have started to find back things that really are ME and which I am drawn to. At the end of 2019, I want to be a better upgraded Elinor. Elinor 2.0
The rest of the evening will be spent on the sofa. Daniel is feeling bad (hopefully he will fall asleep soon so that he can sleep through the bad) and Lexa is asleep for the night. But I couldn't be happier. I think I will light a few candles, maybe make a cup of tea, read about things that interest me on Tumblr and maybe do a tarot spread over the coming year.
I really am stepping into 2019 with a lot of love and happiness. Life isn't the easiest and this year will not be spotless, and it shouldn't be either. But I will try my hardest to make every day a little bit better.//