nightmares, photoshoots and an ikea trip

I’ve had a couple of really bad days this week. I’ve felt stressed and weak. Yesterday was especially bad. I just felt so depressed. Not really anxious, but incredibly depressed. I felt really numb and cried. I didn't see a light and I wanted to give up. I thought that a good night sleep could fix it. But guess what, with my luck, I didn’t have one nightmare, but two. I woke up at like 3:40 am and stayed up for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep. And then.. I woke up at 5:30 am. I was so scared to fall back asleep, knowing that for sure I would have another nightmare. So, I got up and made some coffee. I worked out, took a shower and made breakfast. Luckily, I took like an hour nap a bit later in the morning, without having a nightmare. I had a lot of time in the morning to I decided to rearrange my apartment. I moved my bed next to my big window, moved my couch to a little corner and moved my tv there as well. So now I have a cozy little tv corner. Then I got ready, made my makeup really pretty and put on jewellery and a pretty outfit. I went to the center to meet my big brother. It was a really beautiful sunny day. It’s been a lot of rain recently but today was beautiful. Me and my brother went to a cute local coffee shop next to the river. I had a chai latte and a cinnamon bun and my brother had a cappuccino and an oreo cake piece. We talked about life and had a good time. After our coffee date we went to take pictures and I’m really excited to see how they turned out once my brother sends them to me tomorrow. When I came home I changed my outfit once again and went with a friend to IKEA! I bought a light for my nightstand, that’s why we went there. BUT, I also got two scented candles, two cute pillowcases and two new plants. Of course. When I came home I took a long hot shower and put on pj’s and fuzzy socks and now I’m here on my bed, writing this. I have had a couple of bad days, but no matter how hard I fall down and how hard depression hits me, I always get up. Because I’m strong, and I know that better days are coming, like this day came. If we wouldn’t have bad days we wouldn’t know how to appreciate the good days. And tomorrow I have a coffee date and later I’ll go and stay at my mom’s place for the night. I have to take one day at a time, make the most of everyday, live life to the fullest, and look at the positive side. Like today, I had two nightmares, a negative thing, but, I had a productive day thanks to that!



I hope you all are doing well!

Until I write again, take care.


Hugs, Tessa.


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