The comeback is always stronger than the setback. But my comeback was not "going to the gym at 5 am or being so fierce and strong and motivated” or even being better than I used to be. My comeback was simply me being myself again and so happy again, even with the smallest things like wearing matching leggings and a hoodie. It was drinking a coke without regret and it was deep cleaning my closet. I'm happy again, not tired or exhausted from Life, but simply, happy.
I feel like I have gotten out of the rut, pretty much. I have been going out of the house more, instead of laying in bed for three weeks like I did while I was in a rut.
Last week I was at mom’s place for a night and two days after that I went to stay with dad for one night. At dad's place I organized my clothes and also brought back home three bags of autumn/winter clothes.. hehe.. Last week I also got my first vaccine, so I feel a bit safer now. I also had a meeting and then I went to the gym. So it was a pretty good “comeback” week, I guess you can call it. This week is more chill but I still have some adult stuff to do, which is not such a big deal. I can handle it. Next week is very very exciting, I’ll tell you more next week. But you can follow my instagram (@ tessaeklund ) for updates! ;)
Like I said in the beginning of the blog post, how happy I am again. It feels good. And I feel like that’s what comeback means. Getting back up, being happy. I have days when I’m not motivated and I sleep in, but I try my hardest not to beat myself up for it. Because still, I’m human. I was at the gym once last week, and it’s okay.
I actually wanted to talk here in this blog post a bit about my fitness journey, or whatever you want to call it. I actually said this out loud today, but I deeply feel like during the last month or two, maybe more? I feel like I don’t work out for me. I work out to make my parents proud of me. I work out so my pt is proud of me. I work out because I wanted to be “that” girl, which is a huge trend online (if you didn’t know) and I worked out so I could say I worked out. I don’t… I don't really enjoy it that much anymore, I guess? And this is not a sign of depression, or anything like that. I have other priorities now, I feel like. And I guess, it’s okay? Am I making sense? Of course, I can work out at home if I feel like it. Nothing is stopping me. It’s just that I don’t see it as a top priority in my life at the moment, to go to the gym. Maybe it will change at some point, but I just felt like saying this here. And if you feel the same, it’s okay. You are not alone. This “that” girl trend does not have to be toxic. You can make your own version of “that” girl. I, personally, find that trend (especially on YouTube) quite inspiring. I like watching those types of videos. Anywaaaay…
It’s September in TWO DAYS! What!? I love this time of year. I absoluuutely love it! Autumn is forever my favorite season. I have some exciting plans for autumn (including a solo trip to Helsinki!!) and this also means that school is approaching. And… Quite honestly, I’m scared. But I know it will be fine. I’m also excited, but scared. But it’s okay!
Life is overall going pretty good. I’m happy and healthy. I am still madly in love with my boyfriend and we are both happy and healthy. I have had contact with new girlfriends! I met them recently through my boyfriend's friends and I’m going out for a coffee with them someday soon. I could cry happy tears. Because I don’t have girlfriends, really. I mean I have old friends from my old school but we don’t meet often and they don't live close. But it feels good to have new friends to hang out with. I’m so happy.
My mental health is stable. Nothing new about that. No bad thoughts, not that much anxiety. All good, pretty much.
I hope you all are doing well! I’m doing very well. I will write again soon. I’m also planning some autumn related blog posts, so look out for those! Also, I don’t really say this, but if you ever want me to touch on some specific topics here on my blog, feel free to dm me on instagram, or leave a comment on what type of blog posts you want to read. I’m open and even if you don’t have any ideas, I will still be writing, like always.
Take care, hugs!