Orion Crown- The Battle Within Mysel

I need to step aside a just relax......

How do I feel right now?

I am feeling nervous and stress. My heart charkra feels as if there something pulling it and straining the blood to flow though it.
With that feeling inside of me , it makes it harder for me to breath and concentrate on the task at hand.

Finding it difficult to have a positive attitude to complete my goals, accept my body, and even attain a mental attitude to accomplish my blog post.

Daily drawings, Meditations, and my work (Ditto Mode) have become very absurd and down right uncomfortable for me to do.
With that unfavorable mindset and feeling that are within me right now.

It Sucks.

I am not saying that where I am physically sucks. No, I am actually grateful for being here. I just have this feeling like I am pushing and stress against......

Who I was. Which is an illusion because the who I was in the past vs who I want to be.
Seems as if it two different beings and I can only see that as great thing.

I can see the stark contrast that are between the two. As going down the list of "The New Me", I am able to say that I already do that.

The flashes of memory of who is was or what I used to do. Means that I am no longer my past self. I actually am moving ahead but I a not there yet. 

Why? well, I am that type of girl that likes to observe the glass half full you see.
When you are going though those woes that happen because of life.

It can make you have this sort of foggy vision trying to accomplish anything. Here are a few way that are helping me though those times.

 Be bare with yourself

As you go through the day, what habits can you observe with yourself. What ways or actions bring you misery or feeling safe and loved.

If you had XYZ....

Having endless amounts of money can help you go from here to there. You can buy food, give money to others in your own way.

Play pretend and see yourself as having it now and when worry/ skepticism arises. Think about this.

There are billionaires in this world who are able to do these things. Then there are people making "average amounts " of money and still do the same thing.

You do not have to be a billionaire or millionaire to give but if you want to be a billionaire. Then be specific .

What does it mean to be a billionaire?

Are you able to be your own boss and work whatever hours that you desire. Or do you own a company? How much money do you earn?

Ask yourself these questions and more if they ever come up.

Then try to think of five ideas that can help bring you that certain amount of money that will make you a billionaire  or what you want to be.

When you are done with writing it, act upon it. Research what has to be done in that field and continue to act even if you fail.

You will have four more things on the list to achieve and if there is nothing left on this list. Well write five more things.

What brings you Happiness.

Think of the first three thing that can and do fill you with happiness.
Mine are

1.Listening to Self Help Audio books,motivational videos and reading.

2. Writing/Blogging

3.Leaving comments. It is something small and sweet to do.

These three things I left above give me happiness from the outer realm of within. Do I do these activities every day. No, well kind of....

Do these thing bring me happiness all of the time that I am doing them?

No.

Sometimes when I am reading/ listening to a non fiction audio book that has to do with a war torn country.

I no doubt, shed tears of the internal strengthens .Or the acts of horror that one has seen and carry with them everyday.
I also cry or get annoyed over fictional characters that are written in books from time to time and yet.

I still love to read the words that are printed inside of a book or the way the speaker conveys his or hers emotions. Creating a imaginative character that you can relate to.

All I am saying, is that even though we do experience a vary of feeling when doing the thing we love doing .

We still do it anyway because it brings us happiness overall. When I am doing the stuff that creates me happiness. Then I can't think about doing anything else and I am that you all feel that way too.

What brings you Stress.

Stresses there are so many thing that can bring you stress just like with happiness any other emotions. Here again, ask yourself the question. What are the things or thoughts that stress you?

You can write this down and burn it ,email it to yourself, or just think and ponder over it for a couple of minutes.

Here are a few things that seem to stress me out to get you going.

1.Going back in the past and seeing it as my present. When it is not.

2. Social media endlessly scrolling through someone else life and seeing their highlights as their life. It could be it could not be. My job is not to figure out or to compare myself to them. I can say that it is motivational to see someone achieve "success".

This could mean that the person bought tickets to fly Paris,  saved up to buy a Gucci bag or even take a wonderful photo of the evening sun going down in their backyard. 

Showing that the simplest of things life has to offer are pretty darn awesome too.
But yeah..... To much of social media and it is not really directed to a certain end. Let's say that I want to set up some props in a certain way for photos.

To gain some inspiration from social media can help with that.
If and I say again, If you are just mindlessly scrolling though someones feed. Then you would be only living half of a life that is not your own. Whatever they are doing on their SM feed. You can do it too.

3.I can't think of a third reason that stresses me out.

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Hey babes. If you have these emotions at times. Then don't worry we all are human.

The best part about begin a human is experiencing feelings like fear,worry, happiness, love, appreciation and all of the other things that expose us to feel.

Love,
Nina.

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