Hello lovely readers!
Some of you may already know why I haven't been present at my blog or anywhere as a matter of fact for about 3 weeks now. My body just gave up. I am currently going through a burnout and my body alarmed me by giving me a few panicattacks. I was so scared not knowing what was happening. The first attack left me unable to think clearly for one week. The second week was full of shame. I asked myself "why did this happen to me?" "now people are going to think I am lazy".
Then I decided to travel back to my own home in order to be on my own because that has always worked for me in the past. I succesfully traveled back home and contacted a professional in order to get the help I need. I am meeting up for therapy next Monday. Right now life is pretty calm but my body is very tired, therefore I just sleep most of the time. I have also focused on eating more healthy foods and I haven't been drinking coffee because it could be stressful to the ball of anxiety also known as my body. I have also noticed how people act differently around me because I am going through this not so glamourous part of my life. Many people have totally frozen me out and others have showed me their love and support which I am thankful for. Times like this show who really is there for you and who isn't. But I have begun to view it as something positive: my life is automatically cleared out of people who shouldn't belong in it in the first place.
After I recovered from the first panicattacks I was 100% sure I would always be open about my mental health. No matter how good or bad it will be. There are many people out there who suffer in silence and these weeks have showed me that you really feel like the only one going through something like this even if the reality is that it is very common. This is why I have decided to share my mental health story with you. In order to raise awareness and maybe act as moral support for all of you out there going through the same thing. If there is something I feel passionate about it is breaking social norms and this is one more for me to break.
I also want to discuss what type of actions lead towards burnout and how to avoid it. This has developed into a serious issue among young girls. Many girls want to be the best in their own field of interests and unfortunately this type of environment is a major risk factor. For example when I was 16 and my classmates spent their freetime hanging out with friends I perfected my essay and competed among other politically active youth about who the press would notice next. As an adult I now begin to see that all teenagers should be allowed to be teenagers.
To make mistakes, to have fun with friends, to experience life for the first time. No matter how much I enjoyed it back then I wasn't ready for the responsibilities of an adult.
Anyways this was a quick update and a note to all my readers. I will write more upbeat posts as well when I'll be more back on track so to speak.
Right now I am doing fine, a little bit better everyday and that is why I was able to write.
Hopefully all of you are doing well ❤️
Ps. Sorry, there might be typos etc. Not in the mood for correcting them right now