Letter from a kind person, things kind people wish you knew

Dear person who reads this,

This is me writing. Who is me? Well, in this case it doesn't really matter. I could be your neighbour, your uncle or your bestfriend writing this. If it helps you can decide who I am in your mind, that way this letter may feel more personal and will therefore have a greater impact on you. But the most important part is that this person has to be very kind. Why? Cause this is kindness writing to you, telling you everything that kind person in your life wishes to share with you but could not. Why didn't they share these things with me directly? you may ask yourself. Well, the answer to that question is really simple; they really are that kind.

Thank you. I'm truly glad, that you have chosen to spend a little while of your valuable time, into reading this letter. I truly am grateful. Now that I've been polite, let's get straight down to business! Shall we? I hope you are wearing your best attitude and your suit because, what I am about to tell you sounds weird coming out of a person who seems like nothing but rainbows, smiles and butterflies. Consider this your warning. Are we clear? Good!

Firstly, all of us kind people would like you to know that our kindness is not a bright neon sign on our foreheads that invites you to take advantage of us. We get it, setting healthy boundaries and confidence is needed and most us are currently working on those things. However, because someone doesn't want to confront your bad behaviour, doesn't make it right in any shape or form. Get it? Some of us do enable bad behaviour but the thing is doing so has nothing to do with the kindess by itself, maybe we are still working on healing from past trauma. But the point here is that a kind person whom is a work in progress, is not a victim in the making.

Good, now that we have that out the way let's talk about other things. When you wake up in the morning, you have a day filled with choices ahead of you. Kindness, for the most part is a attitude or for some even a lifestyle made up of choosing to do the right things. To smile to a stranger, to call a friend just to compliment them on a bad day, to offer someone a helping hand. Often these choices become invisible because, every person lives in their own subjective bubble making their own daily choices. But I just need to express a tiny little thing: you are not too busy to say thank you. As you may know, when we are happy it's easy to make the best possible choices and to treat others with kindness and respect but when life throws you off course in some kind of way; not that easy to be kind isn't it so?

And now onto something I find to be very odd, even though it often happens. Some people out there, seem to think that kind people have some sort of hidden agenda, a reason why they choose to treat others with kindness and respect. As all of us are still different and our own unique individuals, I'm sure someone is like that as well but, I would bet most of us aren't like that. We care genuinely, from our hearts. No hidden agenda. I know it might be hard to believe, especially in todays world but yeah believe it or not, most of us just believe in choosing kindness. If you need a reason for it, then I think this one is the most important: more kindness in the world is needed. And also it really makes you feel good to know that you have done the right thing, still would not call this a hidden agenda. Although, just as a warning, in this world there is also room for people who trick you into thinking that they are kind, very unfortunate. But being tricked can be avoided by getting to know the difference between authentic kindness and kindness used to gain something. Here is a hint: if someone goes out of their way to make you believe they are a good person they probably aren't. Real kind people do less talking and more kind actions.

This following little thing is probably the most important, we don't need you to understand us, feel sorry for us or sympatize with us. Just because we are kind. We get it, the world out there is cruel and nobody can afford to be wearing their heart on their sleeve. But if nobody would, then how much worse would this world be? I tell you, we know our role in society. That doesn't make us a carpet to be walked on or someone who is naive and doesn't understand a thing. We sense that some of you out there, think we are just plain stupid throwing our love and care out there just like that. All of us where born with a heart, we just know how to use it! So don't make us feel weak in a world of ice and stone for it takes real strength and stamina to be real and caring.

Kindness in itself is not a weakness but, rather a strength. It is always easier to be negative than to find the joy among all the greyness in this world. However, many of us kind people still have to master the art of choosing our moments. Being kind to everyone is possible but as you may know, not always the best and right thing to do. Some people despite our best efforts to understand them and treating them with the same kindness, as everyone that matters a lot to us; some people will never be grateful. Some people will use our kindness against us. Some people will not understand our kindness. Some people will view our kindness as a reward for bad behaviour. Therefore dear person reading this, sometimes we need the help in understanding when not to give out our kindness because, we have so much of it and love sharing it.

Dear reader of this letter, I am fully aware that all of this sounds rather passive aggressive. But I wanted you to see that being kind isn't all that easy. It is not like it solves all of your problems or makes you feel like on top of the world. It sometimes does the opposite and pushes you down. It makes you question your attitude towards life and ask questions like: "should I be negative instead?" "should I let go of my kindness and turn into stone?" But then someone like you turns up in our lives, dear reader. Someone who tells us how our kindness helps them, someone who genuinely thanks us for what we said and did, someone who smiles for the first time in a very long time. And it those moments we really see the difference our kindness makes and we understand how worthy it truly is, despite everything else.

If there is one lesson I wish you would take with you, it would be that we need to start viewing kindness as a good thing. Many people list kindness as a good quality in another, sure. But are we doing it cause we know, that it is what we are supposed to answer? If we really would value kindness that much, most leaders, politicians and business people would have gained all their power with the help of authentic kindness. But is kindness truly what you associate with gaining power and leadership positions in society? I think not. You will only go so far if you're kind but reach a high status in society, if you aren't afraid to step on other people's toes. And keeping up with that success, takes certain personality traits too. Kindness would not truthfully be included as one of those traits. In other words: we as a society award bad behaviour yet, keep telling children and young people about the importance of kindness. That is so wrong because we basically either educate people into taking advantage of others or being taken advantage of. That is probably why "kind hearts don't" grab any glory and why "nice guys finish last". If kindness really is that important as we educate, then why isn't that reflected in the modern society? It's more often than not the kind people who end up working for someone who ends up in a high position but, treats others badly. In other words, start awarding kindness over selfish, mean and negative behaviour. Don't try to understand, rationalize or award behaviour that pushes someone down, one day that very behaviour you saw and ignored pushes you down. Then you begin to view kindness with new eyes.

And lastly to close this letter of with a slightly more positive note,

everyone can be kind or just become a little bit more kind. I don't believe kindness is something you are born with (well of course, maybe in some cases). I believe it is a trait that is learned much like any new skill, and that can & should be practiced throughout ones entire life. If you haven't always done things the right way, fear not, you are never completely doomed! The beauty in life is that you can always change and become better.

So dearest reader, are you ready to join the kind squad and make kindness into a norm again? I hope so. The dark side might seem fun at first but it will unfortunately come back to bite you.


Best Wishes & Merry Christmas,

Love from a kind person, speaking their truth