Well, what can I say, this has been an interesting and even difficult year for most of us! I'm sure many imagined at the end of 2019 that 2020 and the start of a new decade would lead us into somekind of magical new start and endless possibilities or at least be a better year than the last one, am I right? For a few months hope lingered in the air, like it so often does as the year changes and as we settle it was almost like the universe pulled the rug under our feet and yelled "ha! here is some challenge for you!".

I think it's fair to say that most of us went into hermit mode due to lockdowns, felt more anxious with themselves than usual and even limited by external circumstances. It is always easy to look back on things from a positive and wise perspective and to evaluate what could have been done differently. And I'm sure, that this historic year will be one that people shall discuss in 10 years time . But let's face it: this year was so hard, yet you and I survived it! All of us did what we had to do in order to survive and some of those things we may not be proud of, but does it really matter, as long as we made it alive and are ready for something better in the future? Regardless how you spent this year, I wanted to take this moment and tell you how proud I am of you, that you decided to be a fighter, that you pulled this one through! Congratulations I say, for deciding to keep going despite everything!

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As I am about to discuss some things I've learned over the last year I will ask you to not be discouraged if you didn't experience these same lessons this year. Why? Because we are all on different paths and seasons in life. Things happen when they are meant to happen for us, progress and learning life lessons cannot be forced or scheduled like a lesson in school, which is a part of what makes life interesting and even a bit of a challenge at times. I too find it hard to sometimes understand how different lives everyone live, despite being similar in many ways! In other words, there are no grades, there is no competition, there is just forward movement. Let me know what you have learned this year if you want & inspire me by doing so and expand my knowledge on different perspectives, I think it should be a tradition to share what one has learned at the end of a year, don't you think? I think allows us to reflect, gather our lessons in our mental backpack and head outside for the new adventure that is 2021.

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So, what have I learned 2021?

You're external circumstances are not always in your control but that doesn't mean your entire life needs to be out of control

One of the things I've struggled most with in life is my mind. It is often overthinking and trying it's very best to control everything and when that isn't possible anxiety and helplessness hits in. This year I realised this destructive and toxic pattern within me. Although, I've seen this in myself before and tried to deal with it on multiple occasion this year I was forced to heal from it, it's like I could not escape from it anymore. Whenever I decided to put of dealing with this issue during 2020 I was hit with yet another external circumstances out of my control, that I had to just live with. At first, I felt caged and very limited by life. Until I realised that no matter what happens and how much I try to control the outcome of things, the only thing I can in fact control is my own mind. But if I still let my mind rule over me, everything I experience will become twice as hard for me. In other words, up until this point what I thought helped me cope with issues actually made everything worse. I found new ways to cope with negative emotions and situations instead of trying to control everything such as exercise, reading and letting thoughts come and go but not letting them take over my entire existence. This was and on going process that has pretty much lasted the entire year of 2020.

Routines are not always your enemy, in fact befriend them and the can make your life run smoothly

As many of you may know I have always struggled with routines and keeping up with everyday life, I would much rather switch things up, go on adventure and pick a new job every month! But of course I understand that isn't a sustainable way of life and 2020 I finally became an adult who befriended the world of routines. When all else was taken away including being able to work in a normal manner, the only thing left to keep a person sane and happy was, yeah you guessed it - routines! I spent a week of lockdown trying out new things but it didn't feel very productive. Then I created a daily schedule for myself. I filled my time with chores, assignments, exercise, reading about different subjects that inspired me, art projects, exercise and I would keep up with the same bedtime and wake up time, each day. Surprisingly, the lockdown became more manageable this way and when it ended I suddenly realised that the lockdown made my everyday life more balanced, just because I saw the opportunity for change and decided to take it!

Without other people you aren't able to gain more wisdom

Sometimes I go into periods of complete solitude (sorry my dearest friends). I recharge my batteries, learn new things on my own and explore different aspects of spirituality and I enjoy it a lot! But when the pandemic hit and I was sort of allowed to be alone, I understood that in order to learn more about myself and to gain more wisdom about things and in order to understand how other humans work and see the world, I really do need to be more with other humans! Now, this may sound kind of rude to some of you but it is certainly not meant to sound that way! I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that 1. I am not as independent as I thought I was. 2. Humans are social creatures, even the most freedom and solitude loving introverts. 3. Other people bring me a lot of joy, even more so than I can achieve on my own. I am beyond thankful of sharing deep talks with friends and sometimes to share a laugh with them, even if it was just over a call or text. 2020 made me understand how much social interaction means to me and people's wellbeing in general and sidenote kind of but, I begun to notice what a tactile person I truly am.

You decide how you use your time

This one kind of goes hand in hand with the first one but is also an important lesson on it's own. I looked at the woman in the mirror with her shadows and all and she told me "Nobody forces you to stay awake thinking about all those problems that don't even matter in the grand scheme of things. Nobody has forced you to to not start working on your dreams today. Nobody has told you that you aren't allowed to be your true authentic self unapologetically. Nobody, accept of course your own mind". Can you imagine how it felt like for me to face these difficult and unpleasant truths about myself internally and also dealing with the external world and the pandemic? It was like a wave of truth hit me from all angles and all I could do was to either face it or to let it be. I faced it and after many sleepless nights pondering on my behaviour and past, I have come to the conclusion that I have never been as true to myself as I am now.

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As the year is about to end I will now wrap up all of these lessons and look for new experiences next year. Who knows, maybe these important lessons shall come to use next year in one way or another.

But since it isn't wise to be completely stuck on the past either, I decided to share something a bit more fun with you that has to do with 2021! You ready? Okay! I have decided as a "new years resolution" to take 1 walk during each weekend of 2021. So 1 walk/week for 52 weeks. The meaning behind these walks is to figure things out. During each walk I'm going to pick a topic to think about and find a solution to, a new perspective on etc. as I walk. These topics will decided by my me shortly before each walk or maybe by others if the project moves on and gains momentum. I will then create a category for these walks here on my blog and then write a post after each one of them, discussing the topic I chose for that specific walk. Some walks I may take alone, some with friends, coworkers whomever. I will take the walk on either Friday, Saturday or Sunday, depending on my schedule. Hopefully my explanation was understandable enough, but if not then wait for the first post to come up during the first week of January 2021. Wish me luck, for I am aware that this might not be as easy as it may sound as of now! 💫💎😂

On this I end the last post of this year and welcome the new year. I wish all of you and wonderful 2021 and may all your dreams and wishes come true, this next year and every year for that matter 💖🦋🎆

Best wishes,

/Rebecka

Dear person who reads this,

This is me writing. Who is me? Well, in this case it doesn't really matter. I could be your neighbour, your uncle or your bestfriend writing this. If it helps you can decide who I am in your mind, that way this letter may feel more personal and will therefore have a greater impact on you. But the most important part is that this person has to be very kind. Why? Cause this is kindness writing to you, telling you everything that kind person in your life wishes to share with you but could not. Why didn't they share these things with me directly? you may ask yourself. Well, the answer to that question is really simple; they really are that kind.

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Thank you. I'm truly glad, that you have chosen to spend a little while of your valuable time, into reading this letter. I truly am grateful. Now that I've been polite, let's get straight down to business! Shall we? I hope you are wearing your best attitude and your suit because, what I am about to tell you sounds weird coming out of a person who seems like nothing but rainbows, smiles and butterflies. Consider this your warning. Are we clear? Good!

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Firstly, all of us kind people would like you to know that our kindness is not a bright neon sign on our foreheads that invites you to take advantage of us. We get it, setting healthy boundaries and confidence is needed and most us are currently working on those things. However, because someone doesn't want to confront your bad behaviour, doesn't make it right in any shape or form. Get it? Some of us do enable bad behaviour but the thing is doing so has nothing to do with the kindess by itself, maybe we are still working on healing from past trauma. But the point here is that a kind person whom is a work in progress, is not a victim in the making.

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Good, now that we have that out the way let's talk about other things. When you wake up in the morning, you have a day filled with choices ahead of you. Kindness, for the most part is a attitude or for some even a lifestyle made up of choosing to do the right things. To smile to a stranger, to call a friend just to compliment them on a bad day, to offer someone a helping hand. Often these choices become invisible because, every person lives in their own subjective bubble making their own daily choices. But I just need to express a tiny little thing: you are not too busy to say thank you. As you may know, when we are happy it's easy to make the best possible choices and to treat others with kindness and respect but when life throws you off course in some kind of way; not that easy to be kind isn't it so?

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And now onto something I find to be very odd, even though it often happens. Some people out there, seem to think that kind people have some sort of hidden agenda, a reason why they choose to treat others with kindness and respect. As all of us are still different and our own unique individuals, I'm sure someone is like that as well but, I would bet most of us aren't like that. We care genuinely, from our hearts. No hidden agenda. I know it might be hard to believe, especially in todays world but yeah believe it or not, most of us just believe in choosing kindness. If you need a reason for it, then I think this one is the most important: more kindness in the world is needed. And also it really makes you feel good to know that you have done the right thing, still would not call this a hidden agenda. Although, just as a warning, in this world there is also room for people who trick you into thinking that they are kind, very unfortunate. But being tricked can be avoided by getting to know the difference between authentic kindness and kindness used to gain something. Here is a hint: if someone goes out of their way to make you believe they are a good person they probably aren't. Real kind people do less talking and more kind actions.

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This following little thing is probably the most important, we don't need you to understand us, feel sorry for us or sympatize with us. Just because we are kind. We get it, the world out there is cruel and nobody can afford to be wearing their heart on their sleeve. But if nobody would, then how much worse would this world be? I tell you, we know our role in society. That doesn't make us a carpet to be walked on or someone who is naive and doesn't understand a thing. We sense that some of you out there, think we are just plain stupid throwing our love and care out there just like that. All of us where born with a heart, we just know how to use it! So don't make us feel weak in a world of ice and stone for it takes real strength and stamina to be real and caring.

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Kindness in itself is not a weakness but, rather a strength. It is always easier to be negative than to find the joy among all the greyness in this world. However, many of us kind people still have to master the art of choosing our moments. Being kind to everyone is possible but as you may know, not always the best and right thing to do. Some people despite our best efforts to understand them and treating them with the same kindness, as everyone that matters a lot to us; some people will never be grateful. Some people will use our kindness against us. Some people will not understand our kindness. Some people will view our kindness as a reward for bad behaviour. Therefore dear person reading this, sometimes we need the help in understanding when not to give out our kindness because, we have so much of it and love sharing it.

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Dear reader of this letter, I am fully aware that all of this sounds rather passive aggressive. But I wanted you to see that being kind isn't all that easy. It is not like it solves all of your problems or makes you feel like on top of the world. It sometimes does the opposite and pushes you down. It makes you question your attitude towards life and ask questions like: "should I be negative instead?" "should I let go of my kindness and turn into stone?" But then someone like you turns up in our lives, dear reader. Someone who tells us how our kindness helps them, someone who genuinely thanks us for what we said and did, someone who smiles for the first time in a very long time. And it those moments we really see the difference our kindness makes and we understand how worthy it truly is, despite everything else.

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If there is one lesson I wish you would take with you, it would be that we need to start viewing kindness as a good thing. Many people list kindness as a good quality in another, sure. But are we doing it cause we know, that it is what we are supposed to answer? If we really would value kindness that much, most leaders, politicians and business people would have gained all their power with the help of authentic kindness. But is kindness truly what you associate with gaining power and leadership positions in society? I think not. You will only go so far if you're kind but reach a high status in society, if you aren't afraid to step on other people's toes. And keeping up with that success, takes certain personality traits too. Kindness would not truthfully be included as one of those traits. In other words: we as a society award bad behaviour yet, keep telling children and young people about the importance of kindness. That is so wrong because we basically either educate people into taking advantage of others or being taken advantage of. That is probably why "kind hearts don't" grab any glory and why "nice guys finish last". If kindness really is that important as we educate, then why isn't that reflected in the modern society? It's more often than not the kind people who end up working for someone who ends up in a high position but, treats others badly. In other words, start awarding kindness over selfish, mean and negative behaviour. Don't try to understand, rationalize or award behaviour that pushes someone down, one day that very behaviour you saw and ignored pushes you down. Then you begin to view kindness with new eyes.

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And lastly to close this letter of with a slightly more positive note,

everyone can be kind or just become a little bit more kind. I don't believe kindness is something you are born with (well of course, maybe in some cases). I believe it is a trait that is learned much like any new skill, and that can & should be practiced throughout ones entire life. If you haven't always done things the right way, fear not, you are never completely doomed! The beauty in life is that you can always change and become better.

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So dearest reader, are you ready to join the kind squad and make kindness into a norm again? I hope so. The dark side might seem fun at first but it will unfortunately come back to bite you.

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Best Wishes & Merry Christmas,

Love from a kind person, speaking their truth

Happy 2nd of December all! 🎄💫🌌(I'm literally drinking Christmas coffee all day long and wearing nothing but ugly Xmas sweaters 😎)

As I'm writing this, Christmas is just around the corner and I sit here in my kitchen, surrounded by the year that has been and the snow outside, sort of wrapping me up in a blanket of warm healing light. This feeling sort of reminds me of Alexander in the Ingmar Bergman movie "Fanny & Alexander" looking at his odd yet loveable family dancing around in their house at Christmas, he seems to be filled with a sort of pride and gratitude to at least for a moment be surrounded by love and comfort from the outside world. This year has really connected us with our homes but for many it has caused us to feel caged and limited by outer circumstances. So many of us have sort of "re-invented" ourselves and found new interests and hobbies to do while at home. My kinda new hobby this year was and is yoga. I started to do yoga more frequently back in 2015 but kind of lost the habit. In the spring of 2020 I brought the habit back and it ain't going nowhere, hahaa! This November I started a "30 days of yoga" challenge by Yoga with Adriene or FWFG. This challenge was probably the best thing to take on this year, so naturally I highly recommend you to join me and many others, as the 30 days of yoga will continue now in December as well. This post will be about the process and benefits I noticed in my life while taking on the challenge. If you want that one thing to bring with you from reading this post, then it would be the following: Perfect moments don't exist, just do it!

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How did it feel?

Week 1: I was super excited to get started! I also decided to write down some short notes after each practice to keep better track over my personal progress. I would say that for me the first 7 days went on pretty smoothly. I noticed I felt pretty accomplished and happy, before and after each practice. I decided to match my diet and bedtime routine to the practice around the 5th day. On weekdays, I did the practice in the evening but on the weekend I would do the practice first thing in the morning. My sleep started to get deeper around day 7. Although, the practice felt great mentally my body didn't manage all postures and my hamstrings felt pretty thight. I struggled with a few of the basic postures such as downward facing dog and I had some issues with maintaining a long neck and straight back during some parts of the practice.

Week 2: It was interesting to notice that physically this week was much better than the first week, but I wasn't quite mentally present in the practice everyday! I felt very flexible most of the week and could achieve "the most difficult versions" of a posture easily. However, my mind would just ramble, overthink and wander away and focus on anything but the practice. So, I decided to try and just let those thoughts come and go as they pleased without staying stuck on them. Overall, it felt fairly easy still to step on the mat each day and it had become a natural part of my routine. By the 2nd week I started having vivid dreams and new creative ideas. I also found that I didn't feel drawn to social media or media in general and would rather focus on other things like finding new hobbies to try or how to further expand my mind. This week I also brought back other forms of exercise into my routine and yoga supported hiking and going to the gym very well! It healed all my muscles easily.

Week 3: I started to notice that it was easier for me to live in the present moment and to stay calmer in my daily life. However, stepping on the mat this week was difficult to say the least! The routine was there but the motivation wasn't. I kept inventing ways and excuses to skip my practice but I forced myself to do it anyways because I reminded myself of how great it would make me feel if I did it. I worked out maybe too much during week 2, so I was sore in my body pretty much the entire third week but surprisinly yoga helped with that too! The 3rd week was when I knew many postures by heart and could name them, so that was kind of exciting for me! I also begun to research about the history of yoga and the spiritual side of yoga and I let myself be swept away by it.

Week 4: This was the best week of my practice! I had mastered the yoga lifestyle and finally understood that each practice serves a different purpose and some practices just help you chill and reconnect with your mind and body. I started getting intuitive signs from my body regarding what it needed the most, whether that was a great conversation with someone, rest or a nice meal. The most wonderful thing was however when I laid on my mat after the very last practice and I thought to myself filled with gratitude: I did it! 🙏🏻💪🏻💞

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💫 So, What did the yoga practice give me? 💫

Brought me better sleep and relaxation

One of the first and most prominent effects was that I managed to reach a deeper state of sleep. I also interestingly had more colorful, inspiring and vivid dreams. I found that my dreams gave me certain messages that I needed to hear. I also managed to maintain a certain sense of calm in stressful situations at work, which was a very beneficial thing to notice.

Helped me survive the darkness of November

If you live in Finland like myself the winter months despite being fun, festive and cosy can sometimes really play tricks with your energy levels. I have tried many different methods over the years to beat seasonal fatigue or at least learn to live with it. So far, yoga has given me the best results! I felt overall more energy than I usually do this time of the year and that of course resulted with me being more happy and grateful over my life in general which allowed me to offer the people around me a more positive side of life. So a positive spiral effect. (Of course I had some bad days as the overly emotional drama queen I am, not proud of that tho)

Felt like a hug

Doing yoga for 30 days sort of felt like returning to a trusted friend. I noticed that the practice always gives you exactly what you need! Maybe it is the space and time to attend to your own needs and listen to your body, maybe it is just to breathe, maybe it is trying out a difficult asana (posture) or maybe it is the feeling of having a routine. Either way it felt like a nice hug to your entire being; mind, body and soul.

Assisted on my kundalini awakening (you choose what you believe in)

I know some of you out there don't believe in the spiritual aspects of yoga or spiritual awakening in general but if you are looking forward for inner growth on your spiritual journey, yoga every single day definitely will assist you on your journey as the journey can at times make you very anxious and ego death can be so painful at times!

It made me feel accomplished & boosted my self esteem! 🙏🏻

Made me see things clearly & make healthier decisions

I made a few probably life changing decisions thanks to yoga. It may sound very odd but try it out and you'll see how all the clutter just gets cleared away from your mind! It's like I suddenly saw everything and everyone for what and whom they truly are, without my usually idealistic view on everything. I suggest that if you, like me sometimes feel like you let your mind control you too much (yes, you let your mind control you, your mind isn't in control unless you let it) or you find yourself overthinking, then let the yoga mat have your back and leave your toxic thought patterns there. Sometimes you may even get an idea, vision or suggestion for action in the middle of your practice! Suddenly the yoga practice solves a lot of things going on in your mind and life and you aren't even noticing it as you are relaxing and enjoying the practice!

Healing

There have been days during which I would have wanted to wallow and cry, to scream of frustration, rather than to step on the mat. Then there where times when I was so tired that my mind was making all kinds of excuses not to do it, but the yoga mat always stared at me like I was crazy and so I started my practice anyways! No matter how bad the day or circumstances. The one thing that made me return to the mat was it's healing effect. And I have a lot of inner wounds to heal. I wonder why but despite all the pain, I choose to stare at my wounds, flaws, traumas etc. and let them fall over me like a wave of pain. And once that wave comes crashing down the healing and purpose of the pain present itself to you. If you are healing fears, past trauma or dealing with your mental health, then yoga is a great way to reach for that deep inner healing, which btw is the only way to win those inner demons for good.

It made me pay more attention to my other habits

Do I run from one thing to the other? Should I start meditating daily? How can I ground myself better in stressful situations? How can I find creative ways to add whole foods to my diet? Yoga has this interesting effect that boost your ability to take care of yourself, it gives you the tools to sort of become your own healer.

Take good care of eachother & enjoy the holiday season! ❄

Namaste,

Rebecka