Recently we got a new coworker. I noticed I started to view them from a judgemental perspective. "Why are they doing that?" "How come do they suggest such a thing?" And then it hit me: be kind. Everyone has been new at a workplace sometimes, and when you are new how could you know what to do right from the start? At the same exact time, you are left kind of alone to navigate through the unwritten rules of that particular workplace environment. So all you are left with, is basically trying your best, which this new person clearly was doing. I felt bad for having that judgemental moment but it made me understand that kindness really is a religion. It takes practice and you choose to believe it everyday, not only when it suits you or when you feel at your personal best.
My earliest memories of kindness are from the time I started school. Some students were really mean, loud and selfish.* They would put other kids down including me. Yet I decided not to snap back at them. I decided never to seek revenge or to bring them down. I would just watch them, let them do whatever they felt like doing. It's not like it wasn't hurtful, it's not like I didn't feel the urge to punch them in the face. Sometimes it was really difficult for me not to react. But I had this inner knowing from an early age that reacting to bad behaviour, only increases the bad behaviour. Due to my choice of being cool, calm and collected people often would mistake me as weak or somehow more vulnerable. But I can tell you; it takes great strength to choose kindness. In some situations kindness even seems like a completely unnatural response. And then there are the situations in which I must put the kindness aside, only for a moment to stand up for myself. And that my friends is actually still kindness! Being kind to yourself is an important ingredient to a happy life. Boundaries and saying no is also kindness.
*Right about now would be a good time for me to explain how I view people; in my opinion there are no good people or bad people, just good and bad behaviour in different amounts and situations. The same person can be toxic for someone and still offer someone else a healthy conncetion. The same person can also be both "good" and "bad" during a lifetime. I don't deny that some people are truly "bad" but more often than not, such a character is caused by a lot of unhealed issues within that individual. Then there are the lucky few, whom manage to live a good majority of their lives being completely without their ego holding them back. I admire such people, whom have succesfully managed to chill out and dissolve their egos. What is that you may ask? Well, the dissolution of the ego is a part of spiritual growth or awakening. Some don't believe in spiritual awakenings so I prefer to use the word growth. When we detach from our egos we are capable of not always reacting and seeing everything from a subjective standpoint, in other words we give up the urge to be right. And also being set free from the urge to achieve greatness as an individual. I think earthly goals are linked to the ego. Don't get me wrong, but I believe that true freedom is achieved when we let go off the need of being special. This is my personal goal, to let go off my excess pride.
I decided to list some methods that I use in my daily life in hopes of being more kind and understanding.
My methods of kindness
1. The review of actions & the situation
In order to do the right thing one must take space and go inwards to discover the answers. I like to do this by first viewing the situation from my own perspective for a couple of days. I write down all the insights I get. Then I start to review the situation from the other or many other perspectives that are included in the situation. Then I do the same thing, I think about it and turn it over in my head for a few days and then I write down my insights. Then I pause for 1-3 days. After that I have released the personal perspectives and I am able to step out from the situation as and individual, and begin to view it from a perspective of an outsider. Then the answer usually comes to me almost naturally, having gathered all the needed information and I know what I shall do for the good of all involved. Sometimes the issues can be resolved, sometimes it better to give it more time and at other times it is beyond ones own control.
2. The "quick fix" of understanding
Like many other things there is no quick fix in becoming more kind. It takes practice and time. But let's say you get into a conflict or disagreement of some sort, a quick fix in the middle of it all would be to understand, rather than to blame yourself and others. The blame game only causes more negative emotions. Choose no matter how difficult it might be to understand why you feel the way you do. Choose to see that the other person has their reasons to say and do what they did, which sometimes may have nothing to do with you. Choose to see that the circumstances such as the current time and place may also have played a part into it. Choose to see that nothing is ever caused by one thing. Things lead to next. Then take the lesson from it with you on your journey and let it help you grow. Very often we argue but don't learn, so be sure to pick up your lessons as you go further.
3. We are just people and existing is difficult and complex
Everything always boils down to this. The human existence from a scientific perspective is sort of a conicidence. A cosmic accident. We are curious and we keep trying to understand our lives and the meaning of it. In a universe so vast and great that our minds may never completely understand it. Basically we are all living like eternal students. And life is sometimes a difficult school to attend. Imagine now that you and others are in the same boat, cause we truly are. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who you are, what you did, how rich you were or how beautiful.
Life as we know it is also based on suffering, without pain it is difficult to learn. Everyone is trying to make the best out of this, living with a sense of not knowing. Keep this in mind, always. It helps you in seeing the bigger picture of things.
4. Not everyone will choose to be kind but do you want to view yourself as one of those people?
Nope. I'd rather focus on the good. Isn't it so?
5. Kindness doesn't have to be difficult
If you think something will be difficult the guess what? you just made it more difficult than it has to be! Kindness can be as simple as saying "hello". Not everyone needs to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders in order to be or feel kind.
6. Think happy thoughts
No, not as in Peter Pan or something sexual although, that could add to your happiness! Happy thoughts as in focus on gratitude and wellbeing. When you feel good it becomes easier to feel good about others. Let the law of attraction help you.
And last but not least:
Affirmations to be more kind in daily life :
Today I choose to understand rather than to judge
I am capable of being good to others and others are just as capable in being good towards me
I choose universal kindness, I carry a higher frequency of love around me
I can see the good in everyone and everything
Kindness is always awarded, if not now then somehow, somewhere, some fine day
I choose to look at myself with the same warmth and empathy as I view others with
I choose to forgive people and I hope they learn from their mistakes, so that they to can become their best
And one last note to end on; I am not master of the art of kindness and I do not wish to be one. My goal is to empower people into personal growth so we can all live with purpose and in ecouraging atmospheres.
Sending a wave of positive energy your way: 🌊
Sending sunshine into your darkness: 🌞
Sending love into your heart: 💌
And sending you a virtual hug of understanding: 💞
P.S. I feel guided to do a healing guided meditation using the frequency of 432Hz and calming words. If you'd like me to try it out, let me know. Currently learning energy healing.