I have a tendecy to touch upon deep and maybe even tabu subjects but my philosophy is: once it's out there something happens. People discuss, they compare, think, talk in either a positive or negative way but as long as we break the ice and start to talk about subjects that we are silent about in general we are already making a huge change towards the better.

The following you are about to read is based on personal experiences and nothing more so don't take it as facts but do research and learn more on your own if the subject interests you.

Math class is about to start and the teacher points me towards the chalkboard (early 00's) and asks me to write the correct answer to one of our homework assignments. Bravely I make my way towards the chalkboard. I know this, I can do this. As I slowly pick up the chalk and start to write a sudden panic fills my entire body. What if I'm not correct? I will have to walk back to my seat way back in the class and everyone would laugh, all 25 pairs of eyes staring at me. In my head I quickly come up with a solution: If I refuse to answer because I don't know then maybe I could escape the situation.
-What is taking you so long?
-Umm, I don't know the answer.
-Okay then that's alright, didn't you understand the assignment?
-Not quite.
-What part didn't you understand? I'll help.
-I didn't do it.
-Oh, well I'm afraid I'll have to give you a mark because you didn't do your homework but now go to your seat and do your homework til next time okay?
You may think that this sounds complicated and unneccesary and like a form of self sabotage and yes it is all of that but it is due to a fear of failure.

In my early teen years I would gain back a bit of self confidence and that could be seen as my ability to take risks or rather "rebel against the system". I would never answer test questions in the way you were supposed to do, I wrote own theories and maybe changed the font to something cooler than Times New Roman 12. In art school I experimented with the craziest ideas and in the summertime I would walk everywhere even places were it wasn't socially accepted barefoot. I also had an explosive blog with provocative content. But at the sametime I noticed something among my peers. They had a strong need for belonging a strong need to adapt. They would do exactly as they were supposed to do in any aspect of their lives. And I felt like screaming: Hello?! Are you individuals anymore? But I tried to understand and not to judge their way of living. And when I thought of it more closely it was caused by the exact same fear as my math anxiety: a fear of failure. And both were fears about not fitting into the norm even if no extra outside pressure was put onto us. What did this mean? Well in meant that there was and is unwritten rules in society that everyone wants to obey without relaising it.

When we open our history books we are shook reading about social rules of The Victorian era, how could one survive everyday life with rules like that? First of all that was then and considered normal at the time. Secondly during that historical period the social rules were visible however, in todays world those rules are often invisible. And the worst part of all: you might not even know about a rule before you break it. We should not go back to the customs of The Victorian era but rather take the fact that invisible social rules into consideration.

When should we take this knowledge into consideration then? Society itself is a group and there are different societies and different groups inside a society. Every single group have their own rules it can be anything from dressing a certain way to expecting a group member to behave in a certain way. Groups don't have to be a negative thing it could in fact be very positive and unite similar minded people together but what it doesn't unite is people who for some reason don't fit into the group. And this is were the terrible stuff happens: fear of failure, fear of missing out and even bullying.

So if we go back to the fear of failure. The cause could be internal like being to hard on oneself or it could be caused by external factors such as a pressure to follow unwritten rules of a certain group. However even if a fear of failure could help you in following rules it might take away a personal strive for success and all should be given an equal chance to personal success in life.

One of the most important lesson to learn during your life because mistakes are present in our everyday lives is that it is not a bad think to make mistakes and this cannot be repeated too often it needs to stick and be a part of a persons mindset. Therefore it is not enough to say but also act upon it. Hiding mistakes is both exhausting and time consuming to do, so why not see them as a natural part of life like sleeping, exercising or eating? Mistakes make you work more to get it right the next time and act as a important source of motivation if viewed correctly and that is not failure that is dedication and dedication leads to success. That is the thing about fear of failure, you should understand that not doing things because you're afraid to do them wrong does not lead anywhere. You do not evolve or learn anything new and you will definitely not feel motivated. You should instead be afraid of not making mistakes because that is a sign that you aren't challegened enough. It's a difficult thing to impliment new mindsets and I'm struggling to do it myself but this is also a test because if you want to achieve something you will eventually do so and that my friends is how life works.

/Rebecka