Hello to all of my fellow human beings and other magical creatures of the universe!
It's January an I feel sick again. Maybe I got it from the airplane. Maybe I got it because it's suddenly hard core winter with minus degrees and everything or maybe I got it because my fluffy jacket isn't fluffy enough. Anyways I bought new pants (wow) cause I never seem to find myself any pants, even back when my BMI was 18 I couldn't find pants that actually looked okay on my body, I always ended up buying something k but felt terrible when I had to wear those pants day in and day out. But now I found a pair of pants that aren't shorts but that I actually love to wear, goals. I also bought dark chocolate because I'm a chocoholic, I'm about to have my period and in my opinion dark chocolate tastes the best, especially when you curl up in your chair and think about why people make new years resolutions which happens to be a very interesting thing to talk and think about.
My 2K16 was a year of very high highs and low lows but not until now have I actually realised how much I've experienced. There are 3 things that changed me n my life during the year.
1. Graduating high school
Yes I graduated the same year as Trump got elected as president and great personas died, Brexit...a terrible year for the world but graduation is graduation, it's a really special day. I remember being more nervous than ever but afterwards thinking that everything turned out just fine. I felt highly educated and I partyed really hard that night still feeling drunk in the morning trying not to wake up the rest of the family and I remember that I needed to take of my heels in the middle of the dancefloor and then walk barefoot trying to avoid pieces of glas from champagne bottles and cigarettes on the ground. But the feeling of having accomplished something great, a huge milestone in my life and to be able to celebrate it with family and friends made me realise that I have a lot of people around me who I love and that I can actually accomplish things in life that I'm not actually only a basketcase who listens to nirvana and writes philosophical texts. Great. And I held a speech together with many others and it really felt like it came right from the heart. University awaits I thought and a looong summer break.
2. Moving in to an apartment of my own
It was early August it was also my 19th bday and I moved in to my own apartment. First it felt odd suddenly I found myself in a new city with new people and ... new places to explore. Living alone has changed me the most I think, I now know that I really am an independent woman who can take care of herself. As an introvert this was also a dream come true, now I have my oasis of calm were I can watch Freaks and Geeks, cook vegeterian food and read in peace. I also live quite close to the city center.
3. Realising I'm not a super woman after all and that's totally fine.
Yup. I kinda hit a wall during 2016, but who didn't right? I had a mental breakdown and realised my own limits and finally understood that if I push myself to hard I'll break. I also noticed that if I'll come close to a breaking point I get really annoying to my nearest and dearest and feel really sorry for myself and sometimes even isolate myself from other people. So I learned my lesson now, I've finally learned to say no, to listen to my own needs and rest without constantly overthinking. Better late than never,but I lost a couple of years off my life to basically just feeling sorry for myself which sucks but I can only blame myself for it. I keep a diary now and I track down my progress. Maybe I'm beginning to grow up now, I do hope so then again I don't want my inner child to die.
What are your thoughts about last year based on your own experiences?
Have a great 2017!
Ps. How on earth is it already the 15th of january? Note to readers: this blogpost was written in the beginning of the month but for some reason it never got posted.