Hello lovely people of the Earth! 🌻❤🎶 I hope all of you are doing well and have enjoyed your weekend & week for that matter. Wrote this on Sunday but was in such an odd mood yesterday that I didn't feel like posting. For this week I decided to skip that list of weather, music etc. Why? Because, I realised it would become very boring to read almost the same message each week for those of my friends and readers, whom are loyal to me and keep returing to my blog no matter what. Btw, thank you to those who do, makes me feel like there is someone out there who gets something out of my texts! ❤ I will tell you tho, that this walk was 5km in length and probably the most difficult one to take in a long time, so many things going on in my life right now and at such a fast speed! Thankfully, even if life doesn't slow down, my blog helps me to do so. This post will discuss self image, self worth and beauty. Hopefully someone out there gains something from this. Sending lots of love and blessings your way 💖🦄🌟🎀💎

A teenager looks at herself in the mirror. But she barely looks. When she sees herself she sees hurtful words. Words by people in the past. She has trouble distancing herself from all of that. She has trouble to see what is in front of her without applying past hurt into what she sees. So it's better to not face a mirror at all, she thinks to herself. Yet, she is intrigued by the diverse beauty of women older than herself. She starts to understand and recognize that this world has room for many different kinds of beauty. Sadly, she finds it difficult to include herself into that same category and admiration that she places other women in. She doesn't compete or chase after impossible standards. She dresses as she wants to and explores her style, all of her likes and dislikes. She wears make up, perhaps in the completely wrong shade but it makes her feel better. She can hide her insecurity and judgement of self behind lipstick, mascara and powder. At age 11 she started wearing purple lipstick to school, at a 14 a morning without spending time fixing herself in front of a mirror is not morning at all. At age 16 she starts to understands the importance of skin care. At age 18 she doesn't give an f about her looks, she chases experiences and highs instead. At age 19 she comes home alone drunk, crying cause she returned home alone, thinking it is in direct correlation with her worth. At age 20 she thinks she has gathered enough confidence and love towards herself but it is all an image that comes crashing down when life throws difficulty in her way. When she is 23 a little girl looks up to her and smiles, saying "I love you, I look up to you, you are beautiful". And in her heart she feels the warmth, because now she actually believes it to be the truth.

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It just hit me, as I was walking down the street, how much ones self image changes throughout the years but not only that also the fact that what we choose to define ourselves with. As a little child, the way you invent new ideas or how fast you run are important parts of your identity. As a teen your friends, experiences and your likes and dislikes take over and become a huge part of your identity just to name a few things. But you apperance also plays a key role in how you view yourself. When you were little your body was nothing more than a body until it was looked at, viewed at, seen as more than just your body. Your body was suddenly a part of society, a part of your environment just like you. It was suddenly seen as part of your worth and value. The clothes you were wearing suddenly started to matter. The way your hair was suddenly mattered.

And maybe you, just like me and many other young girls stood in front the mirror while at dance class wondering why you didn't look like a ballerina or Disney Princess yet and wondering how something you barely noticed about yourself before came to play a big part of how you started viewing yourself. I decided what was beautiful and I decided that beautiful did not equal me. If there is something I regret in life it is this decision. If I would have decided to feel beautiful no matter what, I would not have put myself into years of negative limiting belifes. So to my younger self: Beauty can be individual as much at it can be societal.

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I don't know if this is a common occurence but since I decided that my looks were nothing to be proud of (kind of good but not really), I decided to convince people I had a 10/10 personality instead. I read and studied to become smart. I met people from all walks of life to become wise. I worked in jobs on all career fields just to become less judgemental. My "lack of looks" became one of my greatest motivators. And yet, even when when my life was fulfilling, even if I was mostly happy and proud of my accomplishments and journey towards being a good person, even then I looked at myself with judgement. Judgement, cause I thought that I still wasn't good enough. Because I lacked the beauty to present my work. I started to avoid having my picture taken. I started to detach myself from situations that would bring me in the spotlight for all to see. I even went to the extremes of avoiding going on dates and meeting my people, cause in my head I thought "they deserve more than someone as ugly as me". Think about it for a second. Do you see how limiting it was? Do you see how crazy it all sounds? You probably do but back then that was my reality.

Yes, it is true looks aren't everything but it does unfortunately play a big role in the world in many different ways and situations. Currently looks do matter, do I like it? No. Is it the truth? Yes. Can we still live a meaningful life and be happy with ourselves? Of course!

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One day I decided to stop obsessing over beauty. To do things from an authentic place and with the correct mindset instead. I decided to focus on giving myself the validation I was seeking from outside sources. I decided that I had the right to feel good and make choices in life that would increase my happiness. And with that choice, I started to feel more secure in my physical apperance as well. It was now that I understood what an amazing gift it is to live with a healthy, well functioning body that helps me live the life that I desire. Feet to walk and run with, eyes to enjoy beautiful places that I visited, a brain for creative ideas and for storing complex sequences of emotions and logic, hands to draw with, a nose to smell the scent of fresh coffee on a lazy Sunday morning... And through this gratitude I started to view my body in a more positive light, I started to claim it as my own again like that little kid who didn't care as long as she was happy and outside enjoying the sunshine on a beautiful day.

Slowly but surely I started to value myself and my body so much that it lead me towards making healthier choices. I realised that unhealthy habits were an unclear way of showing my body that I didn't care about it. Once my body and mind became cared for I was suddenly founding the confidence in me and my looks so much so that I completely accepted it, even all of its flaws. Who would want to live the rest of their life with an inner critic like no other pointing out each and every flaw? Nobody.

No worries though if you are here still in the midst of listening to that limiting inner voice. I have worked years to better myself and I think I've collected enough mental tools to help you on your journey too. Let's explore it together next, shall we?

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My advice collected over the years for a better body image and feeling more confident in ones looks:

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1. Declare to yourself that you are beautiful outside of any standard or trend

Let's face it. What is considered to be handsome or beautiful by the larger majority will always change. What is seen as fashionable and trendy today might be seen as absurd and tasteless in 10 years. Without it fashion and make up would pretty much loose its essence and meaning! But realising this simple fact will make your life easier. Not only do you now get the choice to decide which trends to follow and which you choose to ignore but this leads to another interesting revalation: at some point somewhere your body or an aspect of it, has been or will be considered as the ideal. For example people always used to point out my butt was too big, well what happens to be trendy now? However, choose to accept that you are beautiful/good looking simply by existing, not if and how you match a certain standard. You can be the most stylish person out there yet what makes you beautiful is the fact that you are content within by who you are on the outside.

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2. Understand that your flaws can be your greatest asset

This goes with everything not just looks! Your so called "flaws" may just be the most valuable part of you. I have found that what we people state to be our flaws is actually the very parts of us that makes us unique and stand out. So let me ask you again: do you have flaws or are you just unique?

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3. If it is difficult to love your body, start to appreciate having a body

This is what I already talk about. Be grateful for existing, be grateful for the work that your body does just to keep you alive! Slowly but surely this gratitude leads to acceptance.

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4. Distance yourself a little from comparison

As a human it is normal to compare yourself to others. Although, too much comparing never leads to anything good. Why do we compare ourselves to others so much? Because for most, it is easier to notice the good in others than it is to see the good in yourself. Sure, someone might be prettier, more handsome, richer, more succesful, more spiritual and so forth than you but know that this is only in your head. Bring those people down from the pedestal and use that force and energy to lift yourself up to the worth that you deserve instead!

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5. Stop commenting on the exterior of others or making judgements about other people based on their looks

Most people know this to be true, yet it is almost a daily occurence that we express how someone wears the wrong clothes for their body, how someone ate another portion of food.. just stop. Chances are, if you keep doing it that inner critic of yours will also never stop targeting you. Don't become that person who is so bored and shallow that their coffee break discussions only involve other people. Discuss ideas, news, the weather, your next trip, museums.. not what someone chooses to do with their body.

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6. Try to seek inner validation more

The more you seek external validation, the more you will need to keep seeking! It will become an endless void to fill. Turn inwards instead and start noticing how you being happy will effect your entire life in a positive manner.

Hopefully this helps someone or gives someone some insight 💎🦄🎀💖❤

Lots of love,

Rebecka

Weather: - 1 degrees Celsius but felt much warmer ☀️ (comment from a co-worker "you look like you're enjoying a warm day in July"

How good it felt: 3/5

Length of walk: According to my phone I have walked an average of 7km/day this week

Feeling: Excited, Confused, Happy and Anxious

Theme for this walk: I decided to walk many times this week, with many different people and in different situations & at different times of the day. The point? It just happened and different interesting topics came up.

Who did I walk with: Alone, with friends

Music: Since the walks were many this week I decided to list a few songs I've listened too on repeat this week;

Real Wild Child - Iggy Pop

Queens Don't - RaeLynn

Canyon - Sarah Klang

Platforms - M.I.A.

Years - Astrid S

Rebel Yell - Billy Idol

Superstar - MARINA

As you've read above, this week was one of those weeks of me just walking around 247. Sometimes that happens, especially when walking right now is the main way to connect with ones environment and other people. This week has also been crazy creative! I get ideas here and there while still working on incompleted creative projects and I think "why is one day only 24 hours?!". My floors are covered with sticky notes, drawings, papers.. my ideas in physical form so I don't forget about them. And then it just hit me on Friday, the fact that I need to blog as well! Grateful that I remembered it despite everything. Would have been slightly awkward to give up or forget during the third week, like you had one job... hahaa. Anyways, this week I didn't really assign myself a specific topic but some higher power apparently did, since I felt almost bombarded with the same topic all the time. As it says in the title that topic is love. I'd rather not discuss matters of the heart too much since it can be triggering, overtly emotional and just a sensitive and a large topic to discuss in general. However, at this point I feel so pushed to write everything, that has come up that I am left with no choice. So, I do hope you guys enjoy it and have a beautiful and blessed week ❤💎👑

People define conditional and unconditional love in different ways. In general, if you would go out on the streets and ask people for a definition of love, they would all probably give out a different answer. So if you find something in this post that makes you question your own thoughts, visions and definitions, do not be alarmed. We are two different people and this is just my take on it.

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To me conditional love is basically the same as waiting around for motivation. Imagine working on a project but always procrastinating it since, it just doesn't "feel right" and waiting for that inspiration to find you. Now, for most people that inspiration and motivation to work on that project will come, and when it does it will feel so amazing. Your flow and ability to concentrate on the task at hand seems almost limitless and you find great enjoyment in it. But, when this moment finally will pass and it could be a time of days, weeks or even months you will experience a lack of interest towards your project. Maybe you are occupied with other things at the time, maybe life will surprise you, maybe you don't feel your best, maybe you feel tired all time and the circumstances just don't seem right. Well, whatever it might be it definitely leads you to put that project on the side. You know that it is there, you know that you could make time for it, you know you could find ways to get back into the mood of working on it but you choose not to.

To me, this is a great explanation of conditional love: when the conditions are right love has room in our lives and when the conditions are wrong it gets put aside. What these conditions are greatly depends on different people and situations but more often then not they are connected to fear. A fear of getting hurt by the love that you give, the love that you receive or by both. Sometimes it is even seen as the right thing to do, the appropriate way to love and limit ones emotions in an socially acceptable manner.

But don't confuse conditional love with personal boundaries; one can still love a person unconditionally and put up certain boundaries. One can also be deeply in love yet, not choosing to have a person in their lives for crossing these boundaries. Another form of conditional love is the form of love that ends when the infatuation stage of a relationship ends or after the exciting part of becoming friends ends. Conditional love could also be love that is specific towards a certain person, thing or situations and an aspect of that rather than accepting something or someone as a whole. For example, choosing to love a certain person only when they are happy or choosing to attend a hobby only when it feels fun.

So basically to summon up; conditional love is fragments of love surrounded by fear. It is perhaps more natural and safe for us to love in a conditional manner because it may shield us from hurtful experiences or balance out our time and energy.

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Unconditional love can be a bit tricky. There are people who question if it even is possible, people who claim that all aspects of human love are somehow self serving. There are people who believe love in general is almost impossible in reality or that it is a concept that people choose to believe in as a distraction from the harsh realities of the world and human life. In my opinion there are two main emotional energies in the universe: love and fear. Fear is easier, more comfortable to depend upon. Love however, takes courage. I cannot begin to count how many times I have chosen not love something or someone due to fear. Maybe fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of being hurt, fear of failure, fear. If someone would ask me what and who the devil is my answer is fear. Fear stops us from many things in life but fear keeps us stagnant at the same place, both physically and mentally. Here is where unconditional love comes in. Unconditional love to me means loving despite everything.

Unconditional love is choosing to love instead of hate. Unconditional love is giving without waiting for something in return. Unconditional love is loving someone even if this person doesn't even like you. Unconditional love is acceptance of life, the world, nature. Unconditional love is loving for the sake of loving, not in order to gain something. Unconditional love is loving despite all the fears and possible negative outcomes of a situation. In other words, unconditional love is trust, trust that what is meant to be will be.

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Today I decided that I am going to love no matter what. I am love. This doesn't mean I award bad behaviour or push myself towards negative situations. If I need to be at a distance, I will be at a distance for my own wellbeing. I don't need to engage with people and situations but, I can still choose to love them as crazy it may seem. Many broken and hurt people choose to stay in that energy. Either their wounds take over their lives or the lives of others. I will rise above all previous difficulty. I choose to love.

For I cannot control others, I cannot control situations but what I can control is who I am and what I bring to the table, and what I want to bring is love without fear. I choose to love where there is hate. I choose to love where there is hurt. I choose to love where there is darkness. Cause love overpowers fear and everything that isn't love is fear.

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I love unconditionally from this moment. How about you?

/Rebecka

Weather: -12 degrees Celsius, fresh clean air and just like last week: snow ❄❤

How good it felt: 5/5

Length of walk: 3km

Feeling: Euphoric

Theme for this walk: Resting and gaining energy for the upcoming week

Who did I walk with: Alone

Music: "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell (1984) 🦋💿

Since this walk was done in a very comforting and average environment, and the focus was less on the walk and more on the mindfulness aspect of it, this post will not discuss the walk itself but the topic stated in the title. Some walks will be like this and others will focus more on the physical sensations and the details of the environment. I am open for suggestions from my inution, regarding each walk.

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Knowledge is both internal and external. We could go to the library or Google something in search for knowledge but we could also use our inner library/search engine. What if you could trust your body and mind before looking up those odd physical symptoms? What if you could find a solution to a problem you keep having in your relationships by going within? What if you could find the real cause to your "unexplainable" behaviour and obsessions by listening to your own inner guidance before seeking out external help? I have found that we often look for external knowledge in hopes to either confirm what we already know or we search for an external answer that pushes us further away from solving the problem because, we know the problem, yet we are not willing to face it head on.

I used to be what I would call a "problem solver". I would head out there and look for answers and possibilities in hopes of making situations better. What was even worse, was that I tried to do the same for others too, thinking I could change them for the better and just like that everything would be fixed. What this type of behaviour really is, has nothing to do with problem solving, more like having control issues. I wanted to find answers so bad, that I almost forgot how to live! Until I understood that maybe, we search too much. Maybe the search of solutions brings us even further from the solution. Maybe if we silence our minds and stop looking for an external solution for just a moment, then maybe that solution will find it's way to us. In other words, the search might prevent us from finding the answer and the answer might already be in front of us, when we are too busy to look directly at it and choose to look past it instead. Maybe our role isn't to do the research, maybe our role is to let the answer find us? What if we would just surrender and stop forcing, would that allow us to connect with the best possible answer?

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In a world that almost encourages us to look for more information and makes that easily available to us it can be truly difficult to just let go and to surrender.
It may also seem like an illogical thing to do. Why would I just surrender? Isn't that the same as giving up on myself and life? Not really, although, at first it will feel like that. I am not saying that a person writing their PhD needs to stop their research right here and right now! Neither am I saying, that a person isn't allowed to Google something important to them or read a book related to a topic of interest. What I am saying is, that the first step to inner wisdom and complete self love & happiness, is in the understanding that you cannot control every aspect of your life. Being in full control of your life, sort of makes you a slave to your life, rather than a creator of it.

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Now, there are many different ways to surrender. You can actively change your mindset, you can choose to find a form of exercise that makes you feel more connected, you can eat foods that help you think more clearly. But there is indeed a practice that in my humble opinion, needs to be seen as equally important as meeting our other needs: meditation. Just as we meet our physical and emotional needs, we need to meet the needs of our soul. When we meet the needs of our soul, it becomes easier for us to let go of control and we become less indecisive. Meditation can be used in two ways; active and passive. Passive meditation can be a way to relax and focus on the breath. Active meditation is a form of meditation that brings us the answers that we seek, if we are open to recieve them.

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Like many, I started my meditation practice as a way to relax and ground myself. I didn't neccesarily strive towards enlightenment or seeking a deeper meaning, I just found it as a helpful way to sleep better and deal with powerful emotions and conflict. It is only recently, that when I meditate and empty my mind, when the right things and words come to me. One night before meditation, I was thinking about the words and actions different people take and how they don't always add up. As I sank into my meditative state I suddenly saw the following sentence before me; "Words are what a person wants to be, but their actions are the real them." It felt like such a powerful moment! So the next night I tested it out by asking a question before meditating. I asked "What food should I eat more of to feel my best?". And what did I hear and see while meditating? Fish. The night after that I asked what I had learned so far in life and while meditating I saw a piece of paper and written on it the following words: "self worth". Creepy? Maybe so but I understood an important detail about the true powers of the human mind.

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I recommend that when faced with a life decision or a problem, know thyself and ask yourself for the answer. Other sources might offer you great advice but always keep in mind that the answer you may seek might be inside of you rather than outside of you. Give active meditation and surrendering a chance! You could even keep a journal if there are many questions you need to ask yourself. Good luck! 💝

Wishing you all the best and many blessings on your way! 💫

/Rebecka