More often than not, like you know by now dearest readers, I find myself thinking about a specific topic for some time. And often that topic and my inner and external research on in appears here as a form of a post. This is also the case now, although this time the topic sort of came to me. I was planning on writing about my journey on the "30 day yoga challenge" (which has pretty much been life changing btw) but then this topic would sort of being to pop up everywhere. The topic is simple yet also complicated: happiness. I came across of videos on famous people talking about how fame, money and fortune really doesn't make one happier and that happiness is something internal. And I thought "oh wow! here are people having almost everything most people commonly associate with happiness talking about how those things really didn't bring them any happiness". The YouTube channel "Straight-Mind" has a lot of these videos, in case you also want to see them. And since your social media will recommend different things to me than it does to you.
Anyways, after watching those videos I thought about happiness. And the more I thought the more I understood that there are no universal sources of happiness. Sure, some things that fulfill our needs can make us feel all of those positive feelings. But I'm talking about that long lasting lifestyle kind of happiness. There is no "one size fits all" solution to that.
This lead me to a fairly interesting question: Do we teach people away from their own personal happiness?
We teach people happiness like it would the same thing as learning how to walk. Unlike walking, happiness is highly individual. We cannot teach people what and how to achieve happiness and then get paid for it. That is just mean! I think the biggest unsaid truth out there is the following; no two people will find happiness the same way, the source of happiness might be similar but the way of getting there is highly individual. It is easy to have a "the grass is always greener on the other side" mentality. Many of us go through phases in life thinking "if only I could get that house or car or designer handbag then I would be happy" or "if only my boss would like me and my crush would pay attention to me, then I would be happy" or "if only I would make a certain amount of money, then I would be happy".
But have you stopped for a minute and really thought about it. Are these things actually what you want or are they things you think you should want in order to be happy, cause this my friend is the important part; what makes someone happy might not make you happy. When I was younger I dreamt of being famous and popular. But what I really was searching for was inner happiness. I just wasn't seeing it from my own perspective and rather letting external factors decide my moods. As the Indian yogi & author Sadghuru often talks about, the worst form of slavery is that of being a slave of external factors and letting them be in control of your own emotional wellbeing. Now, many of us have learned exactly that, to react emotionally to whatever the external world offers us wheter that is felt by us as either good or bad. The biggest problem with living this way although it may offer us a sense of security and comfort is that we tend to loose contact to our true selves. And this is the cause of our unhappiness. Are you ready cause here comes the mindblowing part: Educating people into the search of happiness actually leads them further away from their real authentic happiness. Your mind might feel all confused now, I know. But do not worry, I shall explain further.
You can't force a person into something they are not. It creates a sort of mental cage. At a certain point they get sick of not getting to be who they are which can manifest in many different ways. Someone gets drained, another depressed or burned out. It's impossible to be happy if you aren't your truest self. And it is almost impossible to become truly unhappy when you are your truest self. So now we know the cause of unhappiness: not being true to ourselves. And we also know the source of happiness: being true to ourselves. As simple as it feels and sounds it is never simple to face oneself. This is why we should always try to encourage people rather than judge. Judgement is easier than encouragement. Judgement allows us to run away from ourselves.
How do you become your truest and happiest self? By knowing yourself well enough to not search for happiness in the way you are expected to but rather in a way that will make you happy.
So allow yourself to sit down and ask yourself all those big questions. Figure out how you shall live instead of asking around. You wouldn't want someone else or something else to decide how to be and live right? Then you need to free yourself from being a slave of external factors. Like Eckhart Tolle once said; "The search of happiness prevents you from finding the happiness that is already available to you."
How many people are really able to sit alone at home and feel like right then and there they are enough? Without worrying the should be doing something important or that they are actively missing out? Without thinking they are less of a person for taking time to just breathe? Without longing for something or someone else to make them happy in that moment? How many? I really don't know but I'm guessing not that many of us.
What does all of come down to? Happiness is very simple yet difficult at the same time. The simple part is the knowledge that no search for happiness is needed. The difficult part is how to be able to stay true to yourself in a world that makes it more easy to fit in rather than to stand out. So what is happiness to me you might ask? Well, happiness to me is the fact that I can sit down in my own company and not feel like I'm missing out on anything.
Wishing you a wonderful beginning of a new week! You can do it, you look good, you are awesome and you are enough 💛
Happiness, where you at?