.. Dear January 2019 version of Enya. I see how you struggle inside, being torn between these two worlds, how you just trying to fit in, while still following your calling. I tell you now; it is not possible to do both, but that does not mean you have to leave everyone behind when you enter this new world. The right ones will come along, join you, see you, understand. They will root for you with everything they have in their heart, because they love you, and they seen you suffer long enough now. They won’t think you’re weird, or even crazy. They will know, just as you know, that this is the right path for you - and they trust you with everything they have, they know that no matter how far you go down this spiritual path to find your self, you will always love them and be there for them. So they will let you go; for fucks sake, they want you to take this leap and just start walking down what’s ment for you. You are the only one holding yourself back because you are afraid. And you will open your eyes soon, and see that. When I’m writing this, it’s December 1th 2019, and right now I can feel my self sitting next to you, watching over you, pushing you forward. You don’t recognize this, you can’t see me, but you know I’m there. You just have a feeling about something, and I can see you smiling to yourself, being this secretly spiritual makes you happy. Believing in everything that you do gives you hope and love inside. I’m sitting here, proudly watching you, knowing you one day will start sharing all the magic going on inside of you without shame. I’m here for you every step of the way. So don’t be afraid. Just go for it, like you always do. I love you. Love, The 1th of December 2019 version of you, us.